Wow. Apparently I think you’re all blind. Or slightly blind. Or have the terrible eyesight I have.
500 pixel mix tapes. HELLO!
Really, I just wanted to push that huge tape down a post. I have posts. In my head. And all you get is some hopped-up-on-pain-killers dribble about the Olympics.
That’s right. PAINKILLERS.
No, wait, THE OLYMPICS ON DRUGS.
I have a failed root canal that got an infection and turned me in to a 34 year old woman in the fetal position on the couch moaning, “MYTEEFMYTEEF.” It was so... Read more
That’s love yo. That’s love.
Adelaide by Old 97’s
Whistle For The Choir by The Fratellis
High School Stalker by Hello Saferide
The World’s Greatest by Bonnie... Read more
We don’t “DO” Valentine’s Day. We never have. We do “The Discount Chocolate Day” on February 15th, but not a day before. We do “let’s go to the mountain today” or “let’s make home-made cookies” or “let’s go to the beach” but we don’t do Vday.
Vday is too.. I dunno.. Venereal sounding for me.
I’ve always told Mr. Flinger if I asked him to do something nice for me on... Read more
Here’s something. You remember those horrific questions on the SAT and GRE? Those “This is to That as That is to _____” and then you have to pick from a list that matches NOTHING and OMG my fourteenth #2 pencil just broke and I need a smoke and I don’t even smoke.
I’m a living proof those standardize tests do two things:
1. Prove nothing. I was told, after each test, to just go live barefoot in the kitchen because you stupid whore, you can’t even do a multiple choice test well and mygod what will society do with a creative thinker? and
This is your brain.
This is your brain completely consumed on the dream house you are still waiting to hear about while playing cat - n - mouse with the Dept. of Ed.
(Your brain is the fleshy delicious goodness of pig fat in this scenario.)
I know in the large scheme of things, this will all seem like an over-dramatic reenactment of some time in our life we’ll totally forget. I know there are bigger worries. I’m reminded daily watching one of my dearest friends stay positive in a high risk pregnancy waiting for a blood clot three times the size of her baby to dissolve. I see my sister... Read more
I read the email at 7AM friday morning. I dropped the phone and clutched my stomach. “Noooo” I could hardly breathe.
It was true, I was sure it was true. My groggy mind tried to form the words. “We lost the house.” I said it out loud just to be sure I was awake.
“We lost the house” Louder now with more force.
“WE LOST THE HOUSE” I ran to the bathroom to get Mr. Flinger who was busy getting ready for a normal day. A regular Friday.
But this was no longer a regular Friday.
He looked boggled, confused,... Read more
Remember the time I said I was going to quit drinking? Yea, that didn’t work out so great. In fact, that lasted roughly a week, maybe.
So I googled, “ALCOHOLISM” because I like to be all dramatic and diagnose myself with things from Dr. Google. It validates every ache and pain and makes me appreciate the fact that I do, indeed, have roughly 4.23 months to live according to some scientific study based on rats in England.
Apparently, though, I’m only a... Read more
It’s warm for January. The buds are unsure. The clock says to wait but the weather debates. I notice this as I walk and breathe deeply inhaling the fresh smell of pine and exhaling exhaustion. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.
I think about how connected everything is. There is no circle that does not touch another. The trees and the plants, the small town I live. The people I know all know one another. The business I have touches others in my... Read more