I always knew I was Demi and he was my Ashton 11/Feb/2010

We don’t “DO” Valentine’s Day. We never have. We do “The Discount Chocolate Day” on February 15th, but not a day before. We do “let’s go to the mountain today” or “let’s make home-made cookies” or “let’s go to the beach” but we don’t do Vday.

Vday is too.. I dunno.. Venereal sounding for me.

I’ve always told Mr. Flinger if I asked him to do something nice for me on... Read more

Desk is to Chair as Ass is to Spreading Wildly Without Concern Of Emotional Recoil 09/Feb/2010

Here’s something. You remember those horrific questions on the SAT and GRE? Those “This is to That as That is to _____” and then you have to pick from a list that matches NOTHING and OMG my fourteenth #2 pencil just broke and I need a smoke and I don’t even smoke.

I’m a living proof those standardize tests do two things:
1. Prove nothing. I was told, after each test, to just go live barefoot in the kitchen because you stupid whore, you can’t even do a multiple choice test well and mygod what will society do with a creative thinker? and Read more

Avatar + Rush Limbaugh = Me 04/Feb/2010

Small fact:

This is your brain.

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This is your brain completely consumed on the dream house you are still waiting to hear about while playing cat - n - mouse with the Dept. of Ed.

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(Your brain is the fleshy delicious goodness of pig fat in this scenario.)

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Reality Check 31/Jan/2010

I know in the large scheme of things, this will all seem like an over-dramatic reenactment of some time in our life we’ll totally forget. I know there are bigger worries. I’m reminded daily watching one of my dearest friends stay positive in a high risk pregnancy waiting for a blood clot three times the size of her baby to dissolve. I see my sister... Read more

Inexplicable pain, heartache, and why I continue to fight 30/Jan/2010

I read the email at 7AM friday morning. I dropped the phone and clutched my stomach. “Noooo” I could hardly breathe.

It was true, I was sure it was true. My groggy mind tried to form the words. “We lost the house.” I said it out loud just to be sure I was awake.

“We lost the house” Louder now with more force.

“WE LOST THE HOUSE” I ran to the bathroom to get Mr. Flinger who was busy getting ready for a normal day. A regular Friday.

But this was no longer a regular Friday.

He looked boggled, confused,... Read more

I do alcoholism like I do politics: half-assed 28/Jan/2010

Remember the time I said I was going to quit drinking? Yea, that didn’t work out so great. In fact, that lasted roughly a week, maybe.

So I googled, “ALCOHOLISM” because I like to be all dramatic and diagnose myself with things from Dr. Google. It validates every ache and pain and makes me appreciate the fact that I do, indeed, have roughly 4.23 months to live according to some scientific study based on rats in England.

Apparently, though, I’m only a... Read more

Productivity and Me: A graph 21/Jan/2010

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Threaded 20/Jan/2010

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It’s warm for January. The buds are unsure. The clock says to wait but the weather debates. I notice this as I walk and breathe deeply inhaling the fresh smell of pine and exhaling exhaustion. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale.

I think about how connected everything is. There is no circle that does not touch another. The trees and the plants, the small town I live. The people I know all know one another. The business I have touches others in my... Read more

{broccoli} GIrl Friends 19/Jan/2010

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I was eight when I realized my mom had a best friend. It was one of those moments in life when suddenly my mother was a person to me, not just a mom. It’s like seeing a teacher in the store when you’re a child. A teacher! In a STORE! It stretches your brain to think teachers live anywhere except in the classroom where they wait for you each morning. It humanizes them. Grown-ups: they are people, too?

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Delurking Day twenty-ten 14/Jan/2010

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Confession: I’ve become a complete lurker. When I first started blogging in 2003, I would comment all over the place. I’d say hi, give a “helpful” reply, leave a little love. You might even say I was a comment whore.

Six and a half ohmygod years later, I’ve taken to reading, nodding, thinking and quickly turning to something... Read more