A letter to the Feds 18/Jun/2005

Dear the Federal Government:

I realize you are busy, you know, saving our ass, collecting taxes and taking over the world and all that but I have a request. Can you please please make the use of cell phones in public illegal? You see, old women have no idea they are not the only people in the universe. It is, without a doubt, a daily occurrence that some middle-age woman will get a call and yell, “HELLO? HELLO? WHAT? I CAN’T HEAR YOU. WHAT? I’M AT [fill in the blank]. OH, YES, WELL MARVEY GOT HIS COCK-N-BALLS LOOKED AT AND THE DOCTOR SAID IT’S A VIRAL FUNGUS.... Read more

Part 2 bitchin’ 17/Jun/2005

Oh, eff it. I can’t remember part 2 or 3. I got a chocolate chip cookie and somehow forgot.
I could come up with something.. I’m sure.. but I’m too busy enjoying my cookie.

I wish life was that easy.

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For Karma’s sake 17/Jun/2005

To weigh out my bitchy post, I thought I’d add that today I zipped on my size 10 pre pregnancy jeans. Oh, sure, I can’t sit down or take a deep breath, but they’re on. Never mind my belly spillover, but looky! THEY ARE ON!

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Would you do it? 16/Jun/2005

Could you stay motivated if you might win a million dollars? Yea, I don’t know if I could, either, but I’m gonna try.

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Breastfeeding and Blogging 15/Jun/2005

Sarah hit on a topic that I feel very strongly about. It’s so hard when you don’t breastfeed, for any reason by your own choice or not, to have all the judgement pushed onto you when you feed your child in public.

I’ve had checkout girls at Costco tell me I could save money if I bfead. No, shit, really? Is it about saving money? And what does she care? She had the nerve, after I said, “yea, I tried but it didn’t work out for us,” to say, “Well, you have to give it... Read more

Anyone? Anyone? 14/Jun/2005

Does anyone have any idea how my kitchen floor that was spotless after I mopped it at 10pm last night had mud on it at 7am?

Hint: The baby can’t walk yet.

Hmph.

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Note to the Internet 13/Jun/2005

Don’t ever ever ever listen to “In my Daughter’s Eyes” while trying to do work at the bookstore. You’ll cry.

Also.. if you notice me in your referrals coming from “mrs.flinger.us/links/” don’t be worried. This is my own personal webspace that I have set aside for my own goods and links. You know, notes like, “Stop picking your zits” and “Don’t forget to google eye brow shapes” and other such odd things. ... Read more

No time to blog ‘cause of the big underground zit 13/Jun/2005

What have I spent the past 20 minutes doing? Trying to get my huge underground zit to pop. Why? Because I’m compulsive about it a little bit. And now I have to go to the dentist to get all effed up. Egad.

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My Poor Bean (Updated*) 11/Jun/2005

Y’all.. this sucks. SUCKS. We need all positive thoughts our way. We have the flu. Both LB and I, but she’s taking it much worse than I am.

Day #4 of 103 fevers. If this keeps going, I’ll be on a plane to Psychoville. I hate watching her suffer.

*You can see an update of the fever at The Flingers. Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers and sympathy fevers (BabyBeaux) but really, no need to suffer on our account! We do appreciate y’all thinking of us.

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What do you get when you cross a hypochrondriac with an engineer? 10/Jun/2005

Some very calculated paranoia, lemme tell you.

She’s been doing this head shaking thing. It’s like she’s saying “NO” but it’s out of her control. It started a week ago and has been getting worse. She does this while we’re playing. She’ll try to play with something but her head will shake no and keep her from focusing. Or I’ll be dressing her and her head will start bobbing for no reason while she plays with the tube of butt paste. In all cases, it seems that she’s out of control of her own body.

Like a... Read more