“Oh Wheeeerrrreeee is Mrs. Flinger? Oh, Wheeerrreeee is Mrs. Flinger? Oh Where oh where oh where oh where oh whhheeerrrreeeeee..
Is Mrs. Flinger?”
Later bitches. It’s bedtime now.
Kisses, Mrs. Flinger
P.S. I won the bet. Mr. Flinger is taking LB and *I* am going to Saturday Market next weekend here in town. Alone. With coffee. And. My. Book.
P.P.S. Go Here for the original song.
Dear Mother Nature,
I know you’re busy this time of year creating hurricanes and whatnot, but I’d like to issue a complaint. I’m not sure if you’re aware (or perhaps you clearly are) the ramifications of creating pre menstral symptoms and stress effects that match, ever so closely, the first trimester pregnancy symptoms. Perhaps you don’t mind that women name their next offspring when they are a week late. Is it not a cruel joke? I am most unhappy with you at the moment and can not believe, in my heart, that you enjoy this one bit. For godssakes, women, you are MOTHER NATURE. You must know the emotional distress you cause fellow mothers when they swear up and down a new baby is forming, when in fact, it is not.
P.S. While you’re at it, do something about the crows feet and the increasing gravitation pull on boobies over time.
Today I ran to The 100 dollar store, named as such because you can walk out with two products, contact solution and tampons and the total will come to 100 bucks. I purchased some stables for the home: Halibut, salad, yogurts, bread, ept test, tomatoes, and turkey (incidentally, the total was 102.56. I rest my case). Anyway, I’m standing in the checkout and the lady is cooing at LB. LB is doing her thing, smiling and whatnot and flirting with the masses. Lady rings me up. I punch in my pin for debit and she says, off handedly, not having put the EPT test in the cart yet, “Is this going to be a good thing?”
Now, stop right there. That, my friends, is a bitch.
Look, I don’t care what her intentions were. If I could find cheap pregnancy tests in bulk somewhere else with people who don’t pass judgment on new moms, I would. If you recall, this isn’t the first time costco has done this.
What did she want me to say? “Um.. no.. we’re terrified shitless.” “Oh, no, see, I don’t really think I’m pregnant. I’m just this hypochondriac freak that needs to prove to herself that she’s making up ligament pain, the pukes, and severe hunger, but thanks.” “Oh, yes, bitch, we want to overpopulate the world with our wiley ways. I’m reproducing a small clone army to take over the Bush administration.”
Excuse me, but do you plan on working at effin’ costco forever? ‘Cause lady, you’re 40-something and you’re a checker at Costco. ‘Nuff said.
I’m starving. I’m so hungry, y’all. I’m hungry enough that page 83 of Harry Potter had me drooling. Oh, it’s not the main point of the chapter. Unless, of course, the fact that Harry Potter eats onion soup and bread has some large meaning to the whole wizarding world. I’m sure it doesn’t. But it has a whole hell of a lof of meaning to my world. Mainly, my belly.
Here I was thinking I had nothing really to post about. Sitting here, watching my totally effed up site, moving Oma’s Place to her new location (update your links, BTW) and getting ready to move theflingers (no need to update links.. it’ll be the same) and as I was IMing Traci she pointed something out….
LB hasn’t been swaddled in three days y’all. THREE DAYS. That’s the longest we’ve gone without having to wrap our baby burrito in her life. She cries a bit, plays a little, and then lays down like a big girl and sleep. Without a binki. Without a swaddle. By. Her. Self.
This is perfect timing as I was just starting to write a letter to LB’s future husband about how to swaddle LB on their honeymoon.
But really, we’ve all given up something this week. Swaddle, Caffeine, Pop. And it’s not even Lent.
I’m giving up caffiene. I’m giving up not sleeping. I’m giving up working my ass off for people I don’t know or like. I’m giving up caring about the dust. I’m giving up junk food. I’m giving up the little things.
I’m going back to hiking and writing in my journal. I’m going back to going to bed at a decent time. I’m going back to being outside more. I’m going back to the work I love. I’m going back to working out and doing Yoga and drinking ten glasses of water a day.
Damnit, I’m going back to fitting in my clothes, having energy and being myself. I’m goin’ hippy.
Y’all.. I hurt. Not like crampy hurt.. but hurt. Like knife-in-the-ovary hurt. Like “Helloooooo Uterus!” hurt. I don’t normally *feel* my uterus. But I am now. And the emotions? PLEASE! So far, I’ve cried at Dizzy Tangerine, Erin’s, Seuss’s, and Mama-C-Ta‘s blogs today. TODAY. *sigh*
I quote Mr. Flinger, “I know that the stick says.. but you’re pregnant.”
Which reminds me… How has marriage changed since having a child? ‘Cause after all this emotional crap and paranoia/freeky mommishness over LB, it’s just not the same.
So, I upgraded to EE 1.3 because suddently my site wasn’t requiring a log in. WHAT?! I know I know. Two things about the log in. First, I don’t want other judgy eyes or people who wouldn’t understand what my blog is for to read it. And second, y’all left comments with the safe feeling that it’s under a passworded blog. So when it comes up without one? Yea, I freaked.
If you came yesterday and didn’t need to log in, can you let me know? I’m not sure exactly when it all was open.
I took down a couple of posts for the moment that would concern me if they were read by some people. I’m working on the issue. I *might* go to a different system where you’d have to log in to see all of these posts (and/or any more personal posts) and new non-personal posts would become public. Make sense? No? Yea, I know.. me either.
I’ll keep y’all updated on my issue. I have so many.. I swear.. I’ll let you know them all. ‘Cause they’re JUST that interesting. [snort]
Another test today. You know.. just to be sure. (Although, I’m still not scheduled to start for another week.)
It said Not Pregnant.
That’s a good thing, right?
So why am I crying?
Our Digitally Essential Blogger / Blogspot contest is over. Thank you to all who participated and GOOD LUCK!! Tomorrow morning I am gonna give your links with your haikus to the judges so they can decide which ones are the top for that will get the free custom design for their blogs. When they DO decide I will post an entry with all the haikus and of course the winners !! If you win you will be notified through e-mail and then we can start your design. So fasten your seatbelts….results coming soon !!!
15 guests here now.