I’m frantically cleaning and purging our house. I cleaned the wood floors, the carpets, the kitchen and dusted all the shelves. I put a ton of crap out for “garage sale” or “get rid of” pile. I started packing for moving and I got the oil changed. This is how I deal with the unknown. I clean like a freakish maid.

LB and I are going to Seattle tomorrow. I know my sister isn’t getting married, but I’m in the

psychotic mood to give it a shot. With Paige staying with us, I figure what the hell, ya know? Sure, I may live to not go for that trip with her alone again any time soon, or I might decide that she kicks sweet ass (she does) and that we can be adventurous together.

I’m thinkin’ the latter. Wish me luck! (You’ll be gettin’ some moblog lovin’ so this post will stick on top so you know why you’re gettin’ pictures only. MmmmK? ‘k)

Remember how I said I have no clue about eye brow shaping?. Well, I’ve been trying to pluck and keep my over-grown leg hairs under wraps. You know, trying to balance out the extra 20 pounds that flop over my jeans with nicely trimmed eyebrows and legs. Really. But y’all.. as soon as I’m done tweezing one side of my eyebrows, the other side is growing in like a forest. As soon as I shave one leg, the other is bristle again. This is starting to really piss me off.

So I went out today and bought eyebrow shapers. I gave’em a try and I think it might even be worth the pain. I still had to tweeze a little, but at least I had some sort of shape to go off of.

I still won’t be waxing my legs any time soon. But, I’ve also been thinking, if I don’t know about eyebrow shaping, how much do I not know about hayhay shaping?

What are the odds, when you have sex two times a month and your inlaws live 120 miles away that they’d drop by during the act?

Apparently, pretty damn good.

I admit I SUCK at keeping up with pop culture. I do. I keep wanting to know WHAT is the gossip with Bran and Jen and Angilina. I pick stuff up in the grocery store but never have time to read it (in line) and I can’t seem to get online and spend time looking for the latest crap about some famous people.

So, does anyone know? I’m DYING here….

*thanks to Raybelle for the link Dana’s Dirt.

Stuck on You by Josh Ritter. Enjoy.

OMG… .75 for 2oz!

Seuss asked me how day #3 is with both kids. I forgot to tell y’all that we aborted day #3.

Let’s just say that I came home yesterday (after two days with two toddlers) with a pack of condoms and a promise not to talk about #2 until next year.

‘Nuff Said.

Y’all.. I have a weird question, or rather observation. I’m not sure what to think of this. Aside from my child being a goat that likes to bully her friends and tackle kids for toys, she’s always humping things. I know.. seriously.. she’s way too young to think anything, but can I tell you how weird and totally humiliating it is to look over and see your ten month old humping her toy monkey? MONKEY, for the love of GOD! Poor Monkey has done nothing but be her lovey and goes and violates him all the time.

I have a good friend who’s boy is four months old. She told me last week that he had his first hard-on and she flipped out. Obviously, it’s too early for it to be anything other than the morning male glory syndrom. But still, she flipped out. She goes to change her tiny tiny baby and lo-and-behold is the little guy at full attention. I’m sure this is normal, too.

But when you have a “happy” little boy and a girl who humps things? We’re not so much leaving them in a room together. Because he’s got the equiptment and she’s got the moves.

I am SO much in trouble in 13 years.

So, just now, as in ten minutes ago, I’m standing outside with Mr. Flinger looking at the new shrubs we got for the backyard to keep the dogs from digging right by the house. We’re putting up a cute little fence and filling in holes. I hear something. “waa Waaa waa waa waaaaah.” (Think Charlie Brown’s Teacher)  I say, “what’s that?” Mr. Flinger turns down the radio so we can listen. We hear it again, “Put your hands up and come out of the house unarmed.” OH. MY GAWD. There is a sting in the house behind us.

IN. THE. HOUSE. BEHIND. US.

OH MAH GAH

I’m almost done and

Oh. My. GAWD.

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