I’ve learned a lot of things by having dogs. I learned not to leave the new cookies too close to the counter edge. I learned to scoop poop with a plastic bag and not get any of it on me. I learned to get dogs to stop jumping, you can’t have food in your pockets (even your gum). And, recently, I’ve learned that dogs always think the grass is greener. Even if it’s the cold, wet patio on the other side of the sliding door.
Our dogs don’t come in often. Since LB was born, they come in roughly 2 times a month. Their little lives suck. I know this. Sometimes I have pitty on them and take them to the park or for a walk. Sometimes I let them in to eat cherios off the floor. Tonight I let them in to hang out with the fam. Except twenty minutes later... Read more
Alright. Weigh in. Are you strictly a “not until after Thanksgiving” type of person? ‘Cause I have to tell you, I’m listening to Holiday Music starting now. The way *I* see it this year.. to quote myself, “Bring on the damn holiday cheer.”
So there. (So y’all know, I’m totally laughing WITH you now.. so, really.. feel free to shoot me down here..)
(I am, quite literally, forcing my students to listen to Christmas Music during their excel quiz. Muhahahahaha. Festive Proff, maybe, evil Christian/Christmas pusher, no no. But damn it! I’m... Read more
No, not ME, silly.. this:Read more
So, here’s the new plan. I am, for the love of Pete, going to lose this baby weight. Eff fat belly. Eff round face. Eff tight ass jeans. Eff it all. But.. I love chocolate! And scones! And lattes! But, whilst I do love these things, I am also very very brilliant.
I am to be good five days a week. Good meaning at night, when I really really want something chocolate and yummy, I can have a tootsie roll. Those hard chocolates, chewy as tar, are perfect for making the jaw tired and the hormones think they’ve visited the chocolate god. It’s a theory. One I have to stick to.
Sundays are now known as Sconeday. Sunday mornings will be my own scone a week (should I want one) and my gingerbread latte with the morning paper. That is, if I’ve been good all... Read more
I LUFF LUFF LUFF BEND. I love it. I do. Slap my ass and call me hippy, I LOVE BEND. I luff that everyone wears clothes like me! Columbia! Patagonia! North Face! (Ok. Fine. I only wear Columbia, but I’d wear that other stuff if we had more money. Oh, yes.. I would.) People dress in Eddie Bauer circa 1997. People are fit here. People are nice here. People say please, and how are you? and they .. this is huge now.. CROSS THE STREET AT THE LIGHTS. For the love of Pete, I have been yelling at the stupid old fat people that cross the busiest street in Salem in black, at night, in the median. Damn fuckers. I’m going to kill one of them one... Read more
We lost the house. Damn. At least I have a cute baby.Read more
We’re headin’ out for the weekend. We’re taking a small family escape of sorts. It’s a little extra Anniversary celebrations, plus, it’s just time. We’ve been so worked up about the house that it’s time to get away. Sometimes, the best thing to do when you’re trying to save money and buy a house you can’t afford is to go shopping in Bend and snowshoe and hike and just frolic in general. In fact, we’re so giddy about it, we’re taking Christmas Music (much to Erin’s dismay.) So, while we’re out not getting laid (y’all can all thank Aunt Flo for that one), I’ll leave you with some before and after pics of our... Read more
I have a question for the belle etiquette files.
Do I have to “put out” because it’s our anniversary?Read more
We are making an offer on a house tonight. This will be the third house we made an offer on just TWENTY minutes after someone else. Y’all.. this house is a 1920s, all lead-based paint, original oil furnace, well kept house in FAB neighborhood. In fact, it’s next door to a house that sold for 380K recently. Um. Yea.
Aside from the furnace and it having dead owners (the children are selling the hosue now), it’s great. I mean great. We both like it. I want to fix it up and spend all our cash on it. Sad thing is.. if we buy it? THERE WILL BE NO CASH. Nothing left over. Our cupbards.. they will be dry. Our pockets.. they will be empty.
Good thing I work from home alot. “Cable Internet” is on the must have list and that’s REALLY good... Read more