UPDATE TO Mrs. Flinger October 16, 2015
Because the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, after this delcaration, my blog threw up all over my last upgrade.
So I'm starting over using Craft. Turning 40 and kid entering Jr High next year, sometimes it's just time for a change. These archives will still exist in the way the last child goes off to college and their room is the same for 20 years, but it's just time to move forward.
Just remember you asked for it Nov 16, 2005
I’ve learned a lot of things by having dogs. I learned not to leave the new cookies too close to the counter edge. I learned to scoop poop with a plastic bag and not get any of it on me. I learned to get dogs to stop jumping, you can’t have food in your pockets (even your gum). And, recently, I’ve learned that dogs always think the grass is greener. Even if it’s the cold, wet patio on the other side of the sliding door.
Our dogs don’t come in often. Since LB was born, they come in roughly 2 times a month. Their little lives suck. I know this. Sometimes I have pitty on them and take them to the park or for a walk. Sometimes I let them in to eat cherios off the floor. Tonight I let them in to hang out with the fam. Except twenty minutes later they were begging at the door. I said the word “outside?” and they jumped and begged and stood by the door just waiting in utter anticipation for it to open. Dumb dogs. Don’t they know they are ALWAYS out there? Don’t they know it hasn’t changed? Don’t they know they won’t come back in?
“Just remember you asked for it” I told them and slid the door open. I’m sure they understood. Briefly. Until five minutes later they were begging at the door to come in.
I guess I do the same thing.
(Christmas in July.. er.. November *UPDATED* Nov 15, 2005
Alright. Weigh in. Are you strictly a “not until after Thanksgiving” type of person? ‘Cause I have to tell you, I’m listening to Holiday Music starting now. The way *I* see it this year.. to quote myself, “Bring on the damn holiday cheer.”
So there. (So y’all know, I’m totally laughing WITH you now.. so, really.. feel free to shoot me down here..)
(I am, quite literally, forcing my students to listen to Christmas Music during their excel quiz. Muhahahahaha. Festive Proff, maybe, evil Christian/Christmas pusher, no no. But damn it! I’m making the Yule Tide Gay!)
Hot New Look Nov 14, 2005
No, not ME, silly.. this:
Friends Nov 14, 2005
Tootsie Rolls and Scones: My new diet Nov 13, 2005
So, here’s the new plan. I am, for the love of Pete, going to lose this baby weight. Eff fat belly. Eff round face. Eff tight ass jeans. Eff it all. But.. I love chocolate! And scones! And lattes! But, whilst I do love these things, I am also very very brilliant.
I am to be good five days a week. Good meaning at night, when I really really want something chocolate and yummy, I can have a tootsie roll. Those hard chocolates, chewy as tar, are perfect for making the jaw tired and the hormones think they’ve visited the chocolate god. It’s a theory. One I have to stick to.
Sundays are now known as Sconeday. Sunday mornings will be my own scone a week (should I want one) and my gingerbread latte with the morning paper. That is, if I’ve been good all week, I get a Scone on Sconeday.
Now, the question remains (and will be found out, mind you) if being good all week and bad one scone will allow me to fit into my jeans or sit without seeing my thighs squish. I’m outlining a plan for working out five days a week as well, so I’m hoping between the new “diet” and the new workout plan, I should, by March 2006, be down the remaining fifteen pounds.
Just in time to get pregers for number two. Damnit. Oh well. At least next time around, I can start at my goal weight.
OMG, y’all.. I LOVE BEND Nov 12, 2005
I LUFF LUFF LUFF BEND. I love it. I do. Slap my ass and call me hippy, I LOVE BEND. I luff that everyone wears clothes like me! Columbia! Patagonia! North Face! (Ok. Fine. I only wear Columbia, but I’d wear that other stuff if we had more money. Oh, yes.. I would.) People dress in Eddie Bauer circa 1997. People are fit here. People are nice here. People say please, and how are you? and they .. this is huge now.. CROSS THE STREET AT THE LIGHTS. For the love of Pete, I have been yelling at the stupid old fat people that cross the busiest street in Salem in black, at night, in the median. Damn fuckers. I’m going to kill one of them one day and be pissed they made me feel bad about it.
Oooops. I digress.
This town has the feeling of my college town without the college. Oh, it has a college so that I would find work, but not a “big” college. Not that I teach at a big college anyway, but you know what I mean… (you don’t? Eh, no worries.. neither do I.)
I have this really really bad habit of wanting to move all the time. Anywhere cool. Anywhere I spend thirty minutes and decide that I like. I’ve been pestering the mister to just get a job here already and let’s sell the house and just move HERE. ‘Cause look! They have lakes! And trees! And a very nice/clean/safe downtown! What a lovely place for our first born offspring to grow up in. What a nice location to learn about the outdoors and appreciate the earth the Lord hath given us! Ok, so I cheese it up a bit (read: he is barfing as we speak from my over exaggerated hyping up of Bend) but really, it is a very lovely location to be. Sadly, a whole shitload of people think that and this place is growing a wholelotta. The housing market? Booming. So what does that mean for the poor Flingers? We can’t afford squat here either. Damn. Oh well.. I guess it’s just another place to get turned down, hu.
Then again, being turned down for a house from someone all rugged and hippy-like is kinda cool. I’d take that any day over a town with three state “correction facilities.” Yes. Yes I would.
Lost another one Nov 12, 2005
We lost the house. Damn. At least I have a cute baby.
We’re Going Bendy Nov 11, 2005
We’re headin’ out for the weekend. We’re taking a small family escape of sorts. It’s a little extra Anniversary celebrations, plus, it’s just time. We’ve been so worked up about the house that it’s time to get away. Sometimes, the best thing to do when you’re trying to save money and buy a house you can’t afford is to go shopping in Bend and snowshoe and hike and just frolic in general. In fact, we’re so giddy about it, we’re taking Christmas Music (much to Erin’s dismay.) So, while we’re out not getting laid (y’all can all thank Aunt Flo for that one), I’ll leave you with some before and after pics of our house. Anyone wanna house? We just lowered the price! Come one! Come all! Don’t hurt each other now. We’ll look at all offers…
Etiquette Question Nov 10, 2005
I have a question for the belle etiquette files.
Do I have to “put out” because it’s our anniversary?
I. Can’t. Breathe. Nov 09, 2005
We are making an offer on a house tonight. This will be the third house we made an offer on just TWENTY minutes after someone else. Y’all.. this house is a 1920s, all lead-based paint, original oil furnace, well kept house in FAB neighborhood. In fact, it’s next door to a house that sold for 380K recently. Um. Yea.
Aside from the furnace and it having dead owners (the children are selling the hosue now), it’s great. I mean great. We both like it. I want to fix it up and spend all our cash on it. Sad thing is.. if we buy it? THERE WILL BE NO CASH. Nothing left over. Our cupbards.. they will be dry. Our pockets.. they will be empty.
Good thing I work from home alot. “Cable Internet” is on the must have list and that’s REALLY good ‘cause y’all will be getting a whole lotta Mrs. Poor Flinger-who-can’t-leave-her-house-because-she-can’t-afford-gas. So, I don’t know if this is good or not, but send happy house buying (and selling) vibes our way.
Smooches from “we use leaves now for toilet paper” Flinger!