Mrs. Flinger: A work in progress

UPDATE TO Mrs. Flinger October 16, 2015

Because the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, after this delcaration, my blog threw up all over my last upgrade.

So I'm starting over using Craft. Turning 40 and kid entering Jr High next year, sometimes it's just time for a change. These archives will still exist in the way the last child goes off to college and their room is the same for 20 years, but it's just time to move forward.

Play by Play with Two LBs *updated throughout the day* Nov 09, 2005

Wow.. this is a very very very boring post. But hey! It gave me something to do besides clean two poopie butts, put two babies to nap, feed two babies, blah blah blah… (sorry for the total LAMEASS post but it had to be done…)

Zen Mommy: A review Nov 09, 2005

#Rants and Raves

Ok, so let’s recap, shall we?

Monday 7:00AM: Zen Mommy is born.
Monday 11:00 AM: First coffee wears off and Mommy gets cranky. Just about the time LB gets her first year shots. Fun.
Monday 8:00 PM: Zen Mommy crashes hard. Must. Sleep. Now.

Tuesday 6:35AM: Screw Yoga. It’s icy out and Mommy has to drive to work.
Also: Must stop and buy 20 oz tripple latte.
Tuesday 2 PM: Drives to next (and shitty) job. Hates teaching this class. Needs another latte.
Tuesday 6:30 PM: Goes for jog (YEY!)
Tuesday 9:00 PM Baby wakes up, Zen Mommy cusses a lot. Goes to bed at 9:30.

Wednesday 6:00 AM: Alarm goes off. There is a lot of cussing. Baby is awake crying.
“Zen” mommy runs out to lift weights for ten minutes while Mr. Flinger feeds baby her bottle. Car alarm goes off after giving baby keys to play with. Neighbors are now awake and pissed off, too. (Good thing we’re moving, ‘eh?)
Wednesday 7:45 AM: Squeeze in just enough time to bitch about last three days before LB #2 arrives. Today is first day of babysitting Luke B. (LB #2) With LB (ours) in her current state, it could be hell. Or not? Seriously.. can I be optimistic at 7 am when two busy toddlers just nine days apart are going to be here all day and LB woke up two hours early? Can I?

“Zen” mommy makes very large pot of coffee. Baby destroys kitchen. Real Estate lady calls for showing today.

Zen? You decide….

Breaking Notsomuch News Nov 07, 2005

This just in… I got this tea today in a quest to further my Zen, lower calories and keep the holiday spirit alive for cheap (and keep Zen Mommy awake).

I’ll let you know if it’s any good.

*Update: YUM. Also.. I’m very nauseated again/still. But I SWEAR I won’t think I’m pregnant this month, ‘k? ‘K. But yea, the tea rocks… three Mrs. Flinger’s thumbs up.

Zen Mommy Nov 07, 2005

#Life#Good News

Why didn’t you bitches tell me? Did you know that if you get up at six am, you have time to work out, shower, make the bed, DRY YOUR HAIR, drink a coffee and blog? People, I am BLOGGING and the baby is still asleep.

I think I found my Zen.

This “keeping my commitments to myself” thing just might work out after all.

oh, crap… there she is. But see? A whole paragraph written! WEEEEEEEE!

(please excuse the zealous Mrs. Flinger behind the computer. She’s had her morning coffee by 8AM…)

Posts I write rocking the baby Nov 06, 2005

#Weght Loss and Body Image

I wrote to y’all. Didn’t you get the memo? No? Probably because I had a lovely long post written (including links!) about twenty minutes ago. In the rocker. In LB’s room. While I fed her. Damn if I can’t remember a word. You SURE you didn’t get it? Damn.

Ah, well, here’s the dillio… we found out what was behind the night from hell.  Knowledge is power, people. Remember that. She will never ever take Robitusin again.

The open house went well. We have a person who wants to come back and look at the house again. We also made an offer on an amazingly large, perfect 4 bedroom 2.5 bath house on the WEST side of town (read: fancy side).  We didn’t get it. The other people didn’t have a contingent on sale, so naturally, we got bumped. God/Fate/Alanis Morrisette is angry at me. See? Don’t mock Alanis. She’ll get you, man.

I’ve also gotten in to this big “making commitments to myself” kick. I decided that I make commitments all the time to other people and feel guilty if i don’t keep them. But ones I make to myself? I break them daily.  So I decided, now that I’m thirty, it’s perfectly acceptable to make and keep those commitment. I have a plan to get into my jeans (I’m currently a size 10 worn jean but a 12 out-of-the-dryer jean) and a weight I will hit. And, I’ve commited to myself to workout, get enough sleep, drink water.. you know.. all that crap we should do but never do.

I don’t know if y’all think it’s cheesy or not, but I have a date I have to keep with myself. (And not the going-to-a-restaurant-alone kind of date because I just don’t have the balls to pull that off.) No, more like the “it’s time to go to bed so I can wake up and work out and be a good mommy and read all my bloggies and make a new skin for theflingers because dude, it’s so not thong weather any more” commitment. Yea, you know, that one.

So, ‘night bitches! Catch ya on the flip side…

It’s like ten thousand spoons Nov 04, 2005

LB is doing much better. Her fever broke at 2 pm today, not ironically the exact time her doctor apt was. You know how it goes, “The baby, she had a rough night… blah blah blah.. oh look! 98.7 degrees! Oh! Look at her giggle! What a fun kid she is!” Yea, I know.. she’s a ball full of fun. You shouldda come to the party last night.

Meanwhile, I’m currently treating my upset tummy as if I was pregnant (which, read: I AM NOT).  I forgot that being nauseated might not mean you need to eat every scone in sight. I forgot that you don’t process milk well when it’s actually the flu. I forgot how freakin’ hot and cold you get with a fever. But boy, do I get a refresher course now.

Looks like we’ll be cleaning like mad tomorrow. And then Sunday, for two glorious hours, people will traipse through our house with complete scrutiny. And the really ironic thing? Why do WE live in our house like this? Why don’t we ever try to impress our own selves with our house? Why do we leave it in utter disarray and let the dog hair build up with the dust in the corner but when strangers are coming over, we scrub?

Isn’t it ironic, don’t ya think?

Night Cap Nov 04, 2005

#Rants and Raves#Weght Loss and Body Image

Let’s review the Night From Hell, shall we?

4:30-7:30pm Screaming. Refues to eat/take medicine/snuggle/sleep
7:30-10pm Drive baby around. Doesn’t fall asleep.
10:15 pm Falls asleep as we enter driveway.
10:16 pm Wakes up.

10:30-11:00 pm Falls into a light sleep in her crib. Mr. Flinger and I rush to go to bed hoping for a little shut eye.
11:00 pm We’re wrong. She’s up. Screaming.
11:00-1:30 am Plays/eats “O’s”/will not take medicine but mommy puts it in pure apple juice hoping to sugar shock the kid into drinking motrin.

It works.

2:00 AM falls asleep on Mr. Flinger in the rocker.
2:30 AM places baby in crib.
3:00 AM wakes up. whining.
3:30 AM mommy rubs back and gets her back to sleep.


4 ish: Mr. Flinger is conked out, I’m bleary, and LB is snoring. Loudly. Having trouble breathing. Mommy rolls her over.

8 ish: We’re all up and ready to not nap again today! WEEEEEE!

Did I mention there are four molars back there? Bumps, that is. Yea. And did I mention we’re having an open house? Did I mention we have two people coming to see the house tomorrow?

Did I mention I don’t care how many calories are at Starbucks, I’m living there.  At least until this all clears up. And hey! They have WiFi there! So, I’ll meet ya there in twenty.

Worst fucking night in a long long time Nov 03, 2005

Molars. 103 fever. Fuck.

A new Flinger Fun Game Nov 03, 2005


A lot of you use Captchas on your comments. Those annoying graphics that you have to type in the same letters or else you can’t comment? I totally get why you do it. But, it’s making me a bit batty. See… I’ve started making up WORDS to them, people. Like they have meaning. Or abbreviations. Yea.

For example. I just signed one that was WWXKMP.  So, naturally, I came up with World Wide Xanga Kong My Pump.


So, bring it, Flingers. What are some funny captchas? Got anything good you made up? You’ll never look at a captcha the same…

Political halloween Nov 01, 2005

#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

A joke:

Is it too republican to open the door for trick or treaters and say, “I don’t believe in hand outs. I believe we have a system set up to take care of our underprivileged. You damn beggars!”

Heh. Just kidding. But still, it’s funny. Damn.

< end political not-so-funny commentary>