UPDATE TO Mrs. Flinger October 16, 2015
Because the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, after this delcaration, my blog threw up all over my last upgrade.
So I'm starting over using Craft. Turning 40 and kid entering Jr High next year, sometimes it's just time for a change. These archives will still exist in the way the last child goes off to college and their room is the same for 20 years, but it's just time to move forward.
Thankful Feb 28, 2006
What I’m most thankful for right now is that Maddie is ok.
What I’m second most thankful for? Elmo.
It’s like sending your kid to jr. high with new headgear Feb 25, 2006
Can you imagine taking your child to Jr. High in this? No? You can imagine the mocking, the horrible, painful, insulting words flung openly at your vulnerable pre-pubescent teen and saying, “nobody will notice.”
Yea, right they’ll notice.
Our house is getting an inspection on Tuesday. I am horrified. I have that feeling of “oh, god, they’re going to mock! The gutters! The yard! The
dead rats! The roof, oh god the roof. Oohhhhh, theeeeee rooooooof.”
I am not sleeping at night thinking about how we will ever afford to leave. I am searching google for the cost of housing supplies instead of grading exams, making dinner or being a good mommy and changing poopy diapers before they leak. I’m obsessing over the bathroom and the toilet and the counter tops circa 1962. The oven. Oh, the original oven and stove top. The electrical issues. Are there any?
What if nobody ever wants our house? What if I have to take it to prom because nobody else will and the poor thing will just start to fold inward and the self loathing will take over. What if it’s never moving out, even when it’s 35 and drinking starting at 10am?
I. Can’t. Watch.
Going on the wagon Feb 25, 2006
As a result, I’m starting the binkitini.
God help us all.
Ohhh, now I’m gonna want one: *updated* Feb 24, 2006
Is pregnancy as contageous online as the cold is?
Charla’s baby arrived! Y’all go tell her congrats!
Now, that reminds me of something…
Just promise not to poop in the garage Feb 22, 2006
Sorry, y’all, but I can’t give too many more details. I’m not exactly superstitious (ok, a little), but when messing with things of karmic proportions (karmic is now a word), I don’t want to chance it (and yes I’ll stop using parentheses soon.)
If I’m not around to your blogs for a little bit, it’s only because I’m in the midsts of some things but know I love you and your blogs and please, oh please don’t feel abandoned and poop in the garage when we leave for the weekend.
Now, since you have time and all, please go check out Jane’s insanely talented knitting! The girl is the best. She made me these:
And, lest I degrade the power of the flip-flops with my pasty white, not-ready-for-Spring feet, here they are on me, the model:
(I told you I’d stop using parantheses. I lied)
Dreams and other fluffy shit Feb 20, 2006
Have you ever had a dream, something you’ve wanted for some time now, something you’ve been working toward for so long you began to get comfortable with the dream state? Did you ever start to LIKE that it was a dream? A goal? The “when we do this” became “if we do this” and then “we can still, if we want to, but if we don’t, it’s ok”?
We have. We are. We do.
I played the Euphonium for a reason. That’s right, E-U-P-H-O-N-I-U-M Feb 17, 2006
Sometimes I feel it’s hard to be set apart. I feel as if I’m just another average girl in an average house with her average Target clothing and her average hairdo and her average little life. I’m trying to find something I can excel at, something that I can do and feel good about.
I know! I tell myself, I’ll start my own web design company! But who DOESN’T have a web design company? Also, think I’m overwhelmed now? Yea. I can’t even remember to bill the four people I do hosting for as it is.
Oh! Oh! What about getting published! I wanna be published! I might as well line up in the heard o’ sheep waiting to be discovered by some publisher that will like her shit just as it is, without all the editing or rejection that would make me crawl under my bed and cry for three days shoving ten year old Twinkies down my gullet.
So, here I am back at the crux of my identity crisis. Am I just a big fish in a little pond? Am I a big fish in jeans so tight it causes stomach cramps? Am I trying to be someone I’m not? Am I pursuing too many distractions to prevent me from feeling the hurt and pain from my post partum hormones which are wrecking havoc on my poor lil’ mind?
Am I shutting the world out? Or figuring out how to be open?
That, my friends, is why I played the Euphonium in high school.
What? You say. What the hell is a Euphonium? It’s a small tuba that plays an octave higher and there are roughly four people in the world who know how to play it. Alright, I jest. But truly, as a sixth grade junior high schooler, all the girls wanted to play the flute or the clarinet. Not me. I had to play the Euphonium because that, see, that’s different. I would always be first chair because I would be the ONLY chair. Or I’d only have to beat out Skippy, the large pot smoking guy who barely remembered his real name, let alone carry a tune.
In life, I’m the same way. I pick the thing nobody else wants to do and I do it. And I do it well. I do it so well that people notice me. “Hey! She can teach the old people! She’s good at it!” Who wouldn’t be? A little patience, some spicey conversation and viola! Old people come from the caves to learn how to email their grandkids and tell your boss you MUST BE PROMOTED. There will be nobody to take your place, though. Nobody else wants the job. So you plug on, being the best damn old person computer teacher ever.
The thing about my little life is that I have several friends, good ones, I feel so in touch with. We will be talking, say something, and I’ll think, “my god, that’s me! it’s ME!” or I’ll read a blog and giggle with delight that I’ve found a soul sister. I’m happy to have people I have things in common with. I am, thrilled, actually.
I’ve decided I truly have to do things for myself. Truly. I have to not feel bad about it, not see it as selfishness, not be afraid to get off my ass and go to bed on time. I have to take the risk of achieving some dreams and letting go of others. I have to put myself in a place that I can appreciate what I have now, be looking ahead to the future, but not berate myself for not standing out enough.
It means I no longer play the Euphonium but that’s ok. I can still be me.
Thursday Thirteen: Quotables Edition Feb 16, 2006
Here y’all go! ENJOY! (and check because it’s possible that YOU are featured in this one) muhahaha
I’m alive, but barely Feb 15, 2006
Please. Bring. Chocolate.
Toddler. Is. Teething.
Turning. Two. Too. Soon.
Notes of the vagina chronicles, not mine Feb 08, 2006
Since I’m currently not with child, despite all the pregnancy tests I seem to enjoy taking, (note to self: Buy stock in EPT) I realized how many of the Flinger Friends are either newly pregnant or about to push forth a watermelon from their hayhay. And I thought, “OH! We MUST celebrate the miracle of the hayhay! Oh, so stretchy hayhay, may you stretch and not rip and be good to the moms of those who brave the possibility of pooping on a table in front of several people they will have to look into the face of later! It’s a Party!”
So, I set up a page for those blogs who I’m currently stalking to see the title, “Water busted” or “Making like a fetus..” or “Holy shit this hurts.” You know, something to alert me to the impending sleepless nights they have coming and the celebration of the oh-so-tiny person coming into their family.
Oh, did I mention I can say all of this because I am, in fact, NOT pregnant? Can you tell I’m just a *tiny* thankful (this week) for that? :: cough ::