UPDATE TO Mrs. Flinger October 16, 2015
Because the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, after this delcaration, my blog threw up all over my last upgrade.
So I'm starting over using Craft. Turning 40 and kid entering Jr High next year, sometimes it's just time for a change. These archives will still exist in the way the last child goes off to college and their room is the same for 20 years, but it's just time to move forward.
The Rules of Blogging Jul 03, 2006
Are you aware there are blog “rules”? It’s a lot like the rules of Jr. High. You know, only the cool girls can go to the bathroom between “A hall” and “B hall.” All the stoners hang out in the back of the Safeway before class and you get teased if you are seen with a pad in your purse (or for wearing a bra, or for not wearing a bra.) To avoid minor hysteria, we (being Paige, R*belle and I) are brainstorming a few of the “rules” we’ve learned while blogging. Do please add to this list as it is by no means all inclusive. It is, however, going to keep you from getting beat up later in the parking lot.
1. To get your blog noticed, you must comment on other blogs. It is helpful to leave meaningful comments related to the topic.
NEVER EVER leave a comment promoting your own blog. It’s like wearing white shoes after labor day. You just don’t do it. Or you may have photos taken of you and posted on other sites with the title, “WHAT NOT TO WEAR”.
2. If you don’t mind that your coworker will ask you about your hayhay at the copy machine, feel free to blog about your vagina. Otherwise. Don’t.
3. This also holds true of work related topics. If you don’t mind your boss reading about himself and the lameass motherload of shit he gave you to do, see #4.
4. If you want people to read your blog, you actually have to post something.
5. Secret blogs are not secret and the moment you post a snarky comment about someone, the password will MAGICALLY stop working and the whole world will read it.
6. Blinkies are what satan makes up on his friday night at home while drunk. Don’t use them. Or, if you choose to, be tasteful about it. There is a place for some satanic blinkies, but be sure to display them in a manor so as to not take over the front page. Remember, your readers want to read you, not go in to epileptic fits.
7. There are a lot of great blogs that don’t get a ton of hits. Just because your stats are “down” doesn’t mean you aren’t a good writer. I know a lot of great blogs that don’t get many hits. You, included.
8.There is no such thing as “annonymous blogging.” You may think nobody can find you or know who you are, but there’s a good chance they can. And probably will.
This has been a public service announcment by two girls who got beat up in the bathroom and want to help prevent the same fate for you. Feel free to join in….
Vacation, or rather, sitting-in-the-dark-starting-at-7-pm Jul 02, 2006
After several meltdowns, some coffee, traffic, and a whole lot of Elmo, we made it to Seattle. The SheChild, henceforth known as “Alien Possessed Cutest Little Shit On Earth,” was all spit and vinegar one minute and sunshine rays and butterflies the next today. It’s enough to push a lady, running on three and a half hours of sleep, to the brink. At one point there was screaming, tears, and throwing of things. Ahh, yes, just like the good ol’ days of post partum and the raging hormones running on sleep deprivations. Gawd, I’m just so sexy when I’m like that.
We decided, for the entire family, we should all go to the hotel and start resting at about 6pm. Maybe we’d eat dinner, bathe APCLSOE, lay her down and read our books or watch “The Daily Show” on my iPod. As she is wont to do, APCLSOE had other plans. It was “hahahah! I SEEEE you over there. Yes! YOU! Right there trying to pretend like I’m going to fall asleep while you do anything enjoyable. Well, forgetaboutit! I’m not! And, ohya, I shit again. HAHAHAH! Take THAT.”
If only she could talk, I swear to you this is verbatim.
So, another green poopy was changed, all lights, and all hopes of doing anything fun, were snuffed out and we are left to sit in the dark hoping not to wake the sleeping giant. I did some searching on suites with rooms we can close her off in, but I just can’t justify the additional 80 bucks a night. Although, according to Mr. Flinger, it’s worth it after tonight. And it might be even more worth it after APCLSOE goes grump tomorrow and we have many more meltdowns, many more tears, many more monkeys! many more beers! (that last part is brought to you by a mother reading “Hands Hands Fingers Thumb” one too many times.)
:: ahem ::
Anyone have a nice solution to the “we are in one room and the toddler will not sleep” issue? Aside, that is, from sticking her in the bathroom, which I considered but realized I might like to poo later. And that’s just gross.