I’m not as poignant as Anne Lamott and as much as I’d like to be her when I grow up, I know I will not be writing wonderful, powerful thoughts on God and faith and my fucked up life and making a best seller. For starters, I’m not that fucked up. And also, I’m not so sure about God. So, pretty much, there goes that book.
I know God is a hot topic. I hate hot topics. No, wait, actually I love hot topics because why can?t we all just agree to have a lovely conversation and say what we think in a nice way and know we?ll never come to terms and agree and that’s ok? Why can’t we just be honest about stuff like how much we pay in taxes or why are we... Read more
Everyone has a story about when their Grandma was little, during the Great Depression, they had no rice therefore their parents ate rice every night like it or not until the cows came home. Because damn if she was EVER going without rice again. Or maybe it was butter so they had butter on everything. I forget. Then I also remember one of my mom not having shoes that fit her in elementary school so she used to go to Sunday School barefoot and sit on her feet to hide them under her dress. She swore we would never be without nice shoes that fit and clothes that were new and well cared for. Even as they sat on a hefty credit card bill and changing trends from bell bottoms to ankle zippers and back, we never went without.
And so when LB was walking a bit odd last night in the grocery... Read more
Years ago, I moved to a small town where I attended college and ?found myself? in the most clich? since of the word. I was on my own for the first time in my life, I had a houseful of great roommates, I obsessed about dumb things like boys and homework and trying to balance a checkbook on a 250 dollar a month student job and financial aid. I spent much time by the water writing in my journal, on pen and paper (back in THOSE days) and being idealist and liberal and hippy.
And then I grew up.
Mr. Flinger and I have a lovely story I?ll share with you one day. It?s really very long and tiresome full of words like ?we were on a break? and ?14 years together before we got married? and ?moving away to find out we loved each other after all.? It?s a lovely story that we enjoy... Read more
If you knew me in person, you’d never utter the words “graceful” when describing me. In fact, I can think of several antonyms that come to mind (klutz, uncoordinated, “trip much?”) This doesn’t just apply to my physical attributes. I’ve mentioned it before, but while I like to think I’m tough shit, I am so not tough shit. I’m more of an “all feisty and tough when the going is good and one pile o’ weepy hormones when it’s not” kind of a gal. You don’t see many made for tv movies based on that heroine.
So, when it comes to the pregnancy purgatory I’m in, it’s not a surprise that... Read more
Now we need to just cross fingers/pray/beg/hope for a natural miscarriage. Numbers after 46 hours: 65. I’m now so low in my level, there’s no chance I can carry the baby to term. Instead, they’re talking ectopic vs. natural miscarriage. The best I can hope for is to start bleeding soon and have everything pass (how I hate that term). I need to convince my body it’s over. Because it is.
I appreciate all the well wishes and hopeful thoughts. I appreciate people who said, “so and so had low levels and everything is ok!” I think now, though, I need to deal with reality. I can’t believe there is going to be a full term baby when my chances are now less than 1%. It’s time to help my body face what is happening and let go of my... Read more
Here is the kind of information you would get from me if you saw me on the street today.
“Yea. I’m almost five weeks pregnant. Yea. So it’s not going well. Yasee, I peed on another stick today. And, well, it’s not darker and I KNOW they say it doesn’t matter but it has to, right? Doesn’t it make sense if your HGC went up it would get darker? Yea. I thought so. So anyway, I had another blood work lab today because the nurse isn’t pleased with my score of 47 on 17 days past ovulation. Oh, we know when I ovulated because I took this ovulation strip. Oh, it’s so neat, it’ll tell you when your egg is about 48 hours from being released. Crazy, hu? Anyway, so I had to go back in and now they’re saying things like...
Beyond the Blog *added* 16/Aug/2006
Hi. Did you know I have a life? NO! I DO! I swear! One that takes place after I click the little ‘X’ on the browser window that involves things like poopy diapers, making tacky (and very very bad) dinners and some sort of work. And now, I’d like to share some things about that life. My life beyond the blog.
This week a few things started coming together. First there was the positive pregnancy test (then the negative test, the slightly positive test, and the positive test. But you’ve already been through that story..). There was the new design job, the offer from an amazing company, the news that I get to keep my current job (and telecommute) and the offer, finally, from the online... Read more
Well, that was fun.Now, did I tell you about the time I went on a girl date? No? Pull up a seat. It’s really not what you think…
This post turned in to a running commentary as I wait for more blood results. Feel free to obsess with me. Or laugh and point. Or mock. Whatever. Just hit refresh and let the good times roll.
8/14/2006: 10PMI’m currently freaking out about how much my boobs don’t hurt. Hi? I’m not pukey enough. Hi? Someone tell me why I have to feel miserable to feel pregnant?
Right. Because I did last time. I rememer all too well.
I’m still tired and cranky and hungry (all the time). But I’m just not miserable enough. Not that I’ve heard that somewhere before.
Please remind me of this post when I’m crying... Read more
(Thank you to everyone for their well wishes for a lasting pregnancy. I’m four weeks. And I got two weeks “free.” Only 36 more to go (oy)!)
I’ve only had bad experiences with ebay. I don’t get ebay. I think I’m a competent person with a good head on her shoulders and a nice knack for shopping. But when it comes to ebay, I ride the short buss. And y’all, that’s just PURCHASING. Now I need to sell our crap and I’m like the novice poker player sitting in a room of smoke and beer saying things like, “Uh. I have a bunch of red. Does that win... Read more