Mrs. Flinger: Based on a True Story

It was a good idea in theory 20/Sep/2006

We’re at a coffee house with free wireless (FREE!) and a playroom for kids to roam and play with new toys and moms can, in theory, drink and work quietly while the kids play.

BUHAHAHAHA.

This is the worst idea I’ve EVER had. To come here? I thought I’d like LB to have a chance to be around other kids. I thought it would be lovely, on this rainy day, to let her run and play and *I* can get some things done.

Think again.

You know I used to teach Pre-K? Did you know I worked in Day Care just after college? Did you know this is why I don’t put my child in day care? Not because they are all bad (please read: I DO NOT CONDONE DAY CARE) but rather, because when I was in Day Care I was going to have my tubes tied and my vagina sewn shut... Read more

Baby Noises 20/Sep/2006

We ran in to a mom of an 8 week old last night at Borders. I became one of those, “OMG! You used to do that!” parents almost instantly. I can’t believe how much I’ve forgotten.

The 8 week old was making those baby noises. Remember those? LB used to grunt. Almost all the time. And gurgle. And coo. She didn’t used to just say “NO!” and “LB do it!” She used to coo. Of course, I love waking up and hearing her yell, “MOMMY! I AM AWAKE!” which was her first complete sentence she said. I am so proud.

She hit the 23 month mark and I wrote something lovely for her. ON paper. I’ll have to transcribe it so you can read it but really, it was one of those moments where I decided to use a pen and paper and do it... Read more

Why I’m glad God doesn’t blog 19/Sep/2006

#Depth and Faith

There are all kinds of analogies of a “greater force” or a “Universal Mom” or “Father Time” or “God”. So whatever is your belief, there’s some type of parent figure, some mystical Mom, out there watching out for you and caring what happens. Right?

Not if she’s a blogger.

I realized today as my child climbed on top of me whilst I hurriedly IMed and tried to post a few things, how thankful I am that God is not a blogger. Can you picture it? You’re up in your crib yelling, “Mommy! I AM AWAKE!” and she’s downstairs finishing up an email hurriedly trying to grab some kix and milk so you’ll be quiet for another few minutes while she reads just ONE MORE SITE. Or how she’ll log on to... Read more

Celebrate* 18/Sep/2006

#TTC#got pee sticks?

Just got the call: HCG is less than five. We can :: ahem :: resume “normal activity” and start trying whenever we feel comfortable.

I’m drinkin’ some wine tonight, baby! Bring on the BABY MAKING.

Wooot!

*upon hearing this news Mr. Flinger says, “Activity as normal? Can’t we do better than once a month? Come on, Man, throw me a bone.” He forgot about the the experiment already? Jeesh.

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I want your opium 15/Sep/2006

#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

I’ve talked about how I’ll never win a spelling bee and how I over use spell check almost to a flaw. Not that it catches all my typos, mind you, but at least they are spelled correctly.

You all have this story, I’m sure. You do, don’t you? The one where an email gets sent out to the entire office with some misspelled work that spell check caught and changed? Or you turn in your thesis to your advisory committee and on page 289 you have the word incontinence when talking about student perception’s of online education. Because, you know, you meant inconsistent but spell check guess incontinence and it was late and you spent... Read more

Reverse BlogPyschology 13/Sep/2006

I’m trying my version of reverse blog. You know how EVERY EFFING TIME you blog about your child’s schedule that she totally doesn’t nap? Or how when you blog about how wonderful your life is the Universe turns around and craps on it? Well, take this BlogGods.

I love how my child never naps. I love it when she’s up ALL DAY with her wining incessant dreary needs. I love how she can’t talk yet so she yells when she wants... Read more

Sitting on the Couch eating BonBons** 12/Sep/2006

I?ve taken a series of pictures of my house in it?s current ?State of Affairs.? As I sit here, on the couch, writing, watching Grey?s Anatomy Season 2, fighting the gray hair I found budding from the crown of my head, I?ve decided I care too much about the house. I?m too anal. I?m too in to having the dishes done, the bathrooms clean, the laundry unwrinkled. For today, this one day, I will let events go as they will and live up to the call of SAHM. I will show them what would happen if I lived to the stereotype (damn, I already took out the laundry so it wouldn?t wrinkle, clean out the fridge and purchase the food for dinner. I?m already ahead of the curve). But today, on my seventh 14 hour shift of ?MomAlone? in five days, I?m going to not care.

We?ll see how long that lasts.... Read more

Who says the court system works? 12/Sep/2006

Here for your viewing pleasure, we have Mr. and Mrs. Flinger blaming the missing DISH DVR programming card on the SheChild, which really, is a pretty good guess since it stopped working around the time she was sitting with her feet on it and mommy went to the bathroom. Although, as you can see here, she has no idea what we’re talking about but gives a valiant effort for a good seven minutes (Read: A very large file and very long if you’re not sitting with a coffee). It’s chalk full of her talking and being all cute, even if she was up at 11pm on a thursday night after (allegedly) removing a very important programming card. Later she was found innocent. She is feeling much better now, thank you.

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I remember 11/Sep/2006

#Depth and Faith

We all remember where we were when big events happen in our lives. For our parents, it is “Where were you when Kennedy was shot?” For a while, for me, it was “Where were you when the challenger exploded?” and I’d say, very specifically, “I was in the library in our elementary school, just miles from NASA, watching the liftoff on TV. When the explosion happened, the teachers cried, we all got confused and scared and there were camera crews and people doing interviews within hours. We were told not to talk to anyone. I was in fifth grade. I was sad. I wasn’t sure why.”

If you ask anyone where they were when the trade towers were hit, they can tell you exactly what they were doing and how they found out. I was in a bus in Edinburgh,... Read more

Now with more agnst 08/Sep/2006

I’m feeling angsty. When I looked up angst in the WiKiPedia, I realized I’ve had this word floating in my brain that is so fitting, so perfect, so exact for how I feel. I didn’t even know I knew what this word meant. Surprise! I’m not an idiot. Sometimes I amaze even myself.

If I’m being honest, and since when am I anything but?, I’m finding, even after almost two years, the transition to motherhood doesn’t end once you leave the hospital, or wean your child, or switch to solid foods, or get bold enough to shower each day (mostly) or start sleeping through the night. Nobody tells you that even after two years you’ll still struggle with your... Read more