Mrs. Flinger: Based on a True Story

Oh, my three foot knight in shiny armor 30/Nov/2006

#Life#Rants and Raves#The Flinger Family

We purchased a garbage can today.  [I’m sorry, did you just roll your eyes and mutter, “that is not blog worthy”? You are *obviously* not aware what this garbage can means to me. Or what it took to get it. Or why we went two and a half months without one at all.]

It’s all because of the mister. [And love squabbles are always blog worthy. :: eye roll :: ]*

First there was the $4.99 garbage can I picked up at Target the week we moved in. We chose not to bring up our old garbage can since it was broken and had several tears in the plastic that didn’t seem strong enough to make the 250 mile uhaul trip. Plus? It’s a farking GARBAGE CAN. FYI. At any rate, I chose the most reasonable and cheap garbage can that struck me. Hey! It costs... Read more

I have blogger ADD 30/Nov/2006

#Life#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

I should’ve spent the last hour grading papers. I should’ve cleaned the kitchen. I should’ve made something to eat aside from cheese and crackers (again). And I should’ve paid bills.

Instead, I spent time searching for a new illustration for ye ol’ blog, updating some software and writing my first post over here*. That’s right, I have blogger ADD and I can’t blog in one place, I need five.

Or six! Maybe I should start a “things I can eat today without puking” blog! Yes, that would be completely entertaining and I could even... Read more

He calls himself an engineer 29/Nov/2006

#Pregnancy

I wonder how long you people will have to tell me “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” because I think I don’t believe you. I think it’s new news every time I pee on a stick, get an ultrasound, hear the heartbeat. It’s like I don’t remember that I keep puking in between appointments or gaining weight or crying at the Deli counter in Safeway.

Will... Read more

I have Presbyterian eyes 28/Nov/2006

#Getting to know me#Pregnancy#Weght Loss and Body Image

It’s not as romantic as “Betty Davis Eyes.” Instead, think old people eating food and a tad drips on the side of their mouth but they’re unaware, so they continue to eat. And drip. And never ever use a napkin.

It’s kinda like that.

I noticed last night when trying to read the contents of a spreadable cheese for “pasteurization,” I was holding the container at arm’s length. Actually, I was holding the container and moving my head around while trying to focus on the tiny tiny print. “Damn, this is tiny tiny print,” I muttered.  Mr. Flinger giggles and mentions something about Presbyterian Eyes. “You men Read more

Lo- when you were a tadpole I still loved you 27/Nov/2006

#Good News#Pregnancy#The Flinger Family

If the bible doesn’t come right out and say, “Thou lovest me even when I was froglike in the waters of amnio,” it should. Maybe in the old testiment right next to the Psalms. Or maybe it actually is in Proverbs. If it’s not we should all pencil it in. ‘Cause really.

After nightsweats and nightmarish visions of sliding to the doctor today, I woke up to find out they were more like premonitions than nightmares. With several inches of snow and a lovely sheet of ice beneath it, we hauled the family in to the hail and ice and braved what would commonly be known as “Interstate Five” if you could see it. It took us thirty five minutes to go three miles. Two accidents, three panic attacks and phone call to the doctor, we passed the worst of the... Read more

And a parachute 26/Nov/2006

#The Flinger Family

I admit I’m a wee bit preoccupied with things of the uterus, gagging, farts and boobs (mostly mine). You wouldn’t think this would be the prerequisite for the line, “which reminds me of that time…” but it is. Did I ever tell you about that time… (stop me if you heard this)...

One Thanksgiving a long long time ago, perhaps 15 years or so, The Pre-Flinger Family were in Salem (that’s in Oregon.. pronounce OR-GAN) visiting the Ancient Flingers. As it was, the Ancient Flinger’s home was booked full of relatives so the Pre-Flinger Family stayed in a hotel. Oma Flinger was so enjoying her time with Ancient Flingers that Pappa Flinger and I decided to head back to the hotel early with my sister to catch some TV and relax without... Read more

SnowHumbug 26/Nov/2006

Is it wrong that I woke up this morning to see the lovely white stuff and say, ‘Crap! It better not stick tomorrow. I have to get to the OB!”

Read more

Why I will never ever (EVER) be Martha Fucking Stewart 22/Nov/2006

The turkey is in the freezer. Turkey day is T minus 20 hours AND THE TURKEY IS IN THE FREEZER.

Also, we have the wrong rolls.

I’ve been retching and farting all day and have done diddly or squat with the house. As in cleaning. Or picking up. Or destinking.

I know you’re horribly sorry you didn’t get an invite but trust me, you will have a lovely holiday with a NON frozen turkey. At a house where people care and hostess. And have wine.

The holidays just aren’t the same without Turkey. Or lots and lost of wine.

Read more

More prego fun for all to enjoy 22/Nov/2006

#Pregnancy#Rants and Raves

(And you thought I wasn’t going to talk about this pregnancy all the time. HA! If I could do anything aside from dry heave over a sink all day, perhaps I’d go out and get some actual material. Instead, you’re stuck with gagging and farts. Welcome to my world.)

The list of reasons why I am NOT a great pregnant lady are growing (much like my bra size, ass, thighs and belly):

Write down, “emotional” but mean “hypersensitive to the point she will cry in public at the sight of a baby because SHE WANTS ONE. Remind her she is pregnant.” This actually happened this weekend at Babies R Us. And World Wraps. AND Borders. That’s right, in one day, I broke down crying not once, but three different times because I saw a cute baby and I... Read more

Before and After: a picture post 21/Nov/2006

#Pregnancy#Weght Loss and Body Image

I have a series of before and after photos I thought I’d share. You may want to sit down and start drinking. It could get ugly.

First, I’ll start with the easy one. Here we have the previous “toy storage solution” since we moved in to the new condo and delegated the toy chest for shoes. (don’t ask) Yes, we delegated the storage bin formerly known as “toy box” to dirty ol’ shoes. It’s how we roll.

AFTER

(and yes I am just anal enough I’ve considered labeling what bins go to what. I’m sorry, what’s that? Stick up my... Read more