Fixing Mrs. Flinger Feb 20, 2015
I'm currently working on this website. I want to add back the links to blogs I love, some ways to find content easier, and put in archive, at last, some of the ancient articles. Come back to see updates.
A war strategy I bet President Bush never thought of Jan 18, 2007
#Good News#The Flinger Family
As the parent of a toddler, you can spend a lot of time talking about the potty. The Royal Potty. The “if you can master this, I will never have to wipe up your ass again long in to adult life.” It’s the promise of freedom. It’s the realization that your daughter is a big girl now. It’s entirely too much joy when she squeezes out two ounces of piddle in the big porcelain god.
I’m just sayin’.
I’ve mentioned how there is no such thing as privacy when you’re a parent and usually LB will be near or in the bathroom when we use the Potty. Recently, however, she’s begun to mimick our excitement with the whole business.
“Mommy go potty? Mommy need go potty?”
Yes, LB, I’m going to go potty.
“Mommy do it...
Call for help from a lady who burns toast Jan 17, 2007
Now, I’m aware of the fact that I’m not the best cook around. In fact, you’ve helped me before by giving me great ideas on things I can make. And I listened. And I cooked. Sort-of.
For a long time I was proud of what LB ate. We had a large portion of garden burgers, tofu, peas, green beans, mango, grapefruit, plain yogurt. She had a “treat” of organic whole wheat crackers and milk at Starbucks and never ever had a muffin or other processed sugar-laden baked goods. We held on to the theory that she’s so pure starting out, she wouldn’t know what she’s missing and we wanted to give her the best chance at being healthy and not the junk-food-craving Americans that we were. That was the theory, that is, until I got pregnant and we moved and...
My secret super hero power Jan 16, 2007
#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
If I was a Super Hero, I’d be super anxiety gal. I’d probably wear yoga pants because this 19-weeks-pregnant ass should never be crammed in to spandex, but I’d surely have a cape and probably a wrist-watch thing that could read the future and comfortable shoes.
Not that I’ve given this much thought or anything.
See, I have this secret power in which I take my worst fear and turn it in to reality. Lately, I’ve noticed how much more afraid I am when I’m pregnant. I’m afraid something is going to be wrong with the baby. I’m afraid my husband will die and not be here to see this baby grow in to a person and want to borrow the car and get witty and crass. I’m afraid the cough my daughter has will spread in to some horrible virus and...
Perfecting the art of procrastination Jan 15, 2007
“Goodnight, LB. Have a good nap.”
“No music, go to sleep.”
Oh, oh! Nose running!
Wipes nose with tissue. “Goodnight.”
Oh, oh! Pooping?
“You’re not poopy, goodnight.”
Oh, oh! Dora Bandaid?
“You don’t need a bandaid. Love you. ‘night.”
Oh, oh! Spanking?
Remembering Jan 14, 2007
#Good News#Pregnancy#The Flinger Family
I’m starting to feel the very small movements of CB inside. I feel tiny flutters and sometimes a tiny bump and I reach to rub my belly but by then he/she is gone. It’s such a marvelous feeling, one nearly worth the weeks and months of throwing up, back pain, and acid reflux. It’s familiar this time and I picture my baby tossing arms and knees and feet around its tiny home.
Remembering the first few times I began to feel LB moving around, I searched in the archives for something I wrote about this time during my last pregnancy, and I realize every baby is an individual but every baby is still a miracle.
Chris Rice has a new song out called, “Smell the color nine.” I was working on my baby mix (the CD I’m making for our unborn little girl) and I heard...
My new innaproriate Internet user handle: Snowpussy Jan 12, 2007
Just call me snowpussy. That’s right: Snowpussy.
I realize in other parts of the country you get snow that lasts longer than three hours and doesn’t cause an entire city to shut down and all but here? We don’t. We get nine months of rain. It’s what we’re famous for.
So when it looks like this outside we all turn up the heat and email each other with subjects like “Re: No way in hell I’m going out in this” and “Re: my ass is frozen to the couch, thankyouverymuch” and “Re: HOLY SHIT I HAVE 2 CM OF SNOW!”
Believe me. We’re considered pathetic in most states and unlawful in five.
The news is full of people sliding around in their SUV down a slick hill of ice. “Look at that mom with her five children just...
I don’t make these things up Jan 11, 2007
Did you know it was Delurking week? That’s right! DeLurking Week! (Thank god it’s not just a day or I’d totally miss the whole dog ‘n gay pony ride.)
So, here’s the gig, you get to comment and say hi even if you NEVER COMMENT AGAIN. See the freedom I just bestowed on you? See the power I have? I just gave you free reign to read and never say anything if you so desire because I’m drunk with that kind of authority. But once you comment, I know you’ll want to do more because once you start, you. can’t. stop.
This is your chance to say hi! You want to join the fun because hey! Your name will be in lights! (Or lighted pixels at least.)
If you want to feel better about yourself, you can laugh at a comment you left somewhere else that you...
A sequel (sort of) Jan 10, 2007
#Pregnancy#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz#The Flinger Family
Because I know you people are dying to find out what happened to LB at school. Because I know you are waiting on pins and needles to see if I have to go back to the Nazi Nurse. Because I know you are clutching at your seats to find out if LB has flung more poo in her crib. Because I know you are all wondering if I’ve contacted those other moms I met. Because I know you want to hear more about vaginal discharge and you can barely contain yourself from asking for more belly shots. I mean, right? :: cough :: Right.
1. The screaming is not better. She really ramped it up today when I dropped her off. Blood curling “MOMMY MOMMY” with arms reaching for me. I almost cried before I even hit the parking lot this time. I now have another mantra to say ten times daily,...
I’m the one with black socks and velcro shoes Jan 09, 2007
#Getting to know me#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
Sometimes, Internet, I think I’m a 73 year old man with black socks, shorts, and velcro shoes because what *is up* with all this new fangled technology, anyway?
First there was a blog. Crickets chirped when I posted and three people read the blog: My mom, Mr. Flinger’s mom, and a gal I knew at work who loved to procrastinate. I had to learn the rules of blogging the hard way.
Then there was Flickr. What? You can be invited in to groups? People can leave comments? You can have your most recent uploaded pictures on your side bar? How do you do that? I wanna, I wanna!
Next came My Blog Log. Still? I am clueless. I have contacts! And cool people that stop by! And I’m neighbors with people I love! But what. the. hell.?! So, naturally, I did what anyone with a complete lack...
I just dropped my child off at college with a binki and a blanket and her Buddy Jan 08, 2007
LB started “school” today. I thought she was ready. I KNEW she was ready. A week ago she would’ve walked herself to the school flipping me off the whole way if she knew how to get there. She is such a fiery, independent little woman on the inside but a soft shell of goo toddler on the outside. Today I saw soft goo toddler melt down in complete angst as her mommy walked out the door.
I think I died a little.
When LB was a year old she started going to a babysitter’s house two days a week. This transition wasn’t hard at all. She walked in, saw toys and never turned around to see if I stayed or left. There was very little guilt except the glancing blow between classes when my mind had a few minutes to think about the child I grew and birthed was at someone...