I know what you love to hear: Excuses from bloggers on how they’re too busy to blog. Or! Better yet! They are just busy enough to update their own blog sporadically but too busy to read your blog and actually make a contribution. Meanwhile, you’re reading their updates and contributing selflessly.
Excuses, Excuses. And, as a teacher, I know excuses.
I have my own excuses that I will not bore you with. Instead, I will tell you that I’ve thought of you, I’ve read your comments, I’ve wanted to respond, I’ve read your website and wanted to respond, I’ve drafted several posts in my head, including but not limited to:
“Which comes first, the Mullet or the Motorcycle?”
“A math question: If I ate my weight in popcorn, how much popcorn... Read more
Tonight we have a bit of an issue here in Flingerville. I say issue lightly, since one of us is screaming our heads off and the other two are sitting in a huff on opposite sides of the house. Most days of the week, Mr. Flinger and my parenting strategy align nicely. And when it doesn’t, we always back the other up because that’s what a parental unit does; Back each other up. We’ll discuss our reasons for or against a decision in our own space, but never in front of the child. I call this parenting 101.
I decided to wash the beloved blanket and buddy combination because LB was around a few (dozen) sick kids today. I always wash all of the school items since we’ve had a rough winter hosting more viruses than a Microsoft Computer. (Geek humor, sorry.) ... Read more
I remember getting together with Mrs. JB at the puddle park this summer where she waddled, 8 months pregnant, from her car and then exclaimed, “I swear this kid is going to just fall out.” I laughed because HAHA! A kid just falling out, that’s funny. I never felt like that with LB. In fact, even with months of Braxtin-Hicks contractions and the fear of pre-term labor, as my due date got closer, it became evident LB was not leaving on her own accord. In fact, it was never so apparent as the minute they yanked her out via c-section.
Even still, having not stretched out the canal to all hell and not having a pelvis that spreads enough to let ye large noggin’ through, I still feel as though this child... Read more
My lovely, darling, always sunshine of a daughter recently became opinionated. There are activities she likes and those she most certainly does not. She loves kicking the soccer ball, loves watching Dora, loves going shopping. She hates eating broccoli, she hates taking a nap, she hates brushing her teeth. We do all of these activities regardless of her passion for or against each one, however, she is more than welcome to voice her opinion. We listen. We nod. Then we make her do it anyway.
When she decided one day that she’d like to go swimming, I thought, “Well, yea! What do you know! *I* like to go swimming! *I* am walking around fighting gravity with my big ol’ belly and *I* would like to get in the water, too!” So we got our swimsuits, called around... Read more
One day, way too soon for my taste, my daughter is going to say ugly things to me that I know she doesn’t mean. She’s going to be on the other side and I’ll wonder how long it will last. She’s going to want anyone and everyone except her mother. I know it won’t last forever. And I want to tell my future self that now.
Because tonight, March 22nd, 2007, I became “The Mommy.” I’ve been the mommy for a few years. I’ve been there to feed her and rock her and change her. I’m there to teach her and help her get her shoes on, even now when she yells, “ME DO IT!!!” I’m there every morning she wakes up to hear her little... Read more
I have this disease Mr. Flinger calls “Herding Buffalo.” It usually occurs when life is in complete chaos and there is little time for anything. It usually happens when an idea enters my busy brain and suddenly it can’t get out. The single idea turns in to fifty things that need to be done RIGHT! NOW! and suddenly there is the sound of herding buffalo in my head.
Right now, I have Herding Buffalo.
I last got Herding Buffalo when we were moving to Seattle. It came up often during the moving process, since moving is a bit stressful, especially moving states and jobs. Instead of writing a list of simple things such as “Sell House. Get rid of Crap. Buy House. Get moving truck. Move.” I started getting dizzy with details. Once the... Read more
A long long time ago, I got knocked up. We saw our first little pebble of a person, a Lima Bean, if you will, in March of ‘04. She was tiny, had no hands and a tail. She was known as LB and remained “Lima Bean” in my head for weeks, even beyond the time her tail developed in to legs and her movements caused actual feeling and she could bounce off the wall with force. She remained a Lima Bean because I couldn’t picture a baby growing in me. She was LB. She was tiny. It never changed.
This baby was dubbed “Coffee Bean” well before his conception. I made a decision we could name the next one “C.B.” and thought coffee bean was a cute transition in to keeping his initials. I actually put thought in to this months before he was... Read more
Picture going to see the Pope. You love The Pope. You love his little bubble car, his hat, his influence over an entire sect of religion. You listen to The Pope because he is, well, The Pope. Or maybe it’s the Dali Lama. You read his books, you listen to him speak. He’s one of the most influential people on earth.
Then the Dali Lama tells you he thinks you’re cool. You. Are. Cool. He probably uses some sort of deep and meaningful word and not “cool” but in your own head you think, “he said I was COOL!”
It’s kind of like that if it was possible to actually make plans to see the Dali Lama the next trip home to Texas because he happens to live twenty minutes from your parents and enjoys a good margarita just like you do.... Read more
Against my better judgment, I’m writing about work. However, it will not contain the horrifically boring details that will spiral you in to mashing your head against the wall or shoveling mass chocolate chip cookies in to your face like I do nightly. No, I will spare you the details. Instead, I’m going to talk about working from home and how I thought that was the bestest. thing. evah.
When I had LB, I struggled with going back to work. I finished graduate school three months before having her and had to delay my doctoral studies because I couldn’t attend class, what with struggling to deliver life in to this world and all that jazz. However, I had been passionate about my dissertation proposal and felt strongly that it was something I wanted to pursue. One... Read more
I’ve recently come down with a wicked case of pregnancy brain. I had my glucose test this morning and after staying up late reminding myself not to forget my medical records from my previous doctor, I rushed out the door and realized an hour later (still sitting in Seattle traffic) that I left them on the counter. Again.
It’s affecting every aspect of my life. I have to write lists. I’m easily distracted. You will email me and I’ll go, “oooh!! EMAIL!” and then I’ll start writing you back, look over my shoulder and go, “Ooohhh, dishes!” and off I go to do the dishes.... Read more