Fixing Mrs. Flinger Feb 20, 2015
I'm currently working on this website. I want to add back the links to blogs I love, some ways to find content easier, and put in archive, at last, some of the ancient articles. Come back to see updates.
Stopping short of updating my email signature with blinkies and “Mamma to LB born 10-17-04” Apr 30, 2007
#Good News#The Flinger Family
Tonight could be labeled “and then you get pregnant again” because amidst all the apprehension of the impending birth, sleepless nights, and 3am diaper changes, our daughter gave us a glimpse in to the reason we decided to throw caution to the wind (or, rather, sperm to the unprotected vajajay) a few months ago in the hopes of creating another one. Tonight, as we read her story and kissed her good-night, she said to us, “Thank you, Mommy. Thank you, Mommy and Daddy.” All on her own, no prompting, and no death threats.
Today is one of those days that makes me remember that I’m not always pregnant, that I’m not always sleep deprived, that I’m not always bordering taking up heavy drinking for medicinal purposes. Today reminded me that inside this...
Top ten reasons to get pregnant in High School Apr 30, 2007
#Pregnancy#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
Granted, I don’t go around telling girls to get knocked up in High School as a regular expression of my brilliance, but I’ve been thinking of this a lot lately. I mean, what’s with all the “finish graduate school” and “get a stable job” and “have years with my husband first” crap? Really? When you compare it to the blissful layout of the following list. (Yes! It’s a LIST! I know I know…)
10. Boys are always horny. No need to beg them to come “DO” you because you’re ovulating. TONIGHT. RIGHT NOW. DAMNIT. PERFORM.
9. Down Syndrome pregnancy risk factor is 1 in 1659.
8. Perky Boob recovery is 1659 to 1.
7. Natural Lubrication. ‘Nuff Said.
6. Young people don’t sleep. Or need sleep. Or...
This qualifies me as a virgin… in some circles… Apr 28, 2007
Today I finally cashed in on a gift I received back at the start of January.
I’ve never had a professional massage in my life. Hell, I only spell “MASSAGE” correctly about ten percent of the time. Usually I have it on a wish list as a “Message” and people gloss over it with a flushed face wondering what kind of “Full Body Message” I could possibly mean. (Porn, obviously.) So, one fateful and delicous day back in January, I opened up a care package full of the most delicious cookies and brownies, some random pieces of love, and a pregnancy massage from my good friend Laura.
Sweet Jesus, I may be indebted forever.
So, as it is, I got my massage-cherry popped today. I may become a regular paying customer. Does that make me a massage-whore?
Exorcism to butt-rock; A shrink would have a hayday with that Apr 27, 2007
#Pregnancy#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
I’ve done amazingly well this pregnancy, in terms of not actually going to the ER for random bits of complete nonsense. I can tell, though, as I get closer to the end (Did I hear a PRAISE JEZUZ?!) I find myself becoming a wee bit more worrisome. Or freakish. Either way.
Compared to last go-round, I’ve been amazingly calm. With my first pregnancy I called the doctor no less than 8 times for various “pains.” I freaked out three times with false labor, thought my water broke once, called the hospital because I was SNORING TOO MUCH (I swear to god, it hurts to type that), and twice because she wasn’t moving enough. I also used to rub my belly at night if she was too quiet (which my Aunt later told me was the cause of her colic/screaming all night every night for...
Parenting 80’s Butt Rock Ballad Style Apr 25, 2007
#The Flinger Family
Sure, we don’t have the same hair, or the blue eye-shadow, or the youthful glint in our eyes, but we were molded during the era of butt-rock and we’re here to pass along the wisdom of bad rhyming and cliches to the next generation, one time-out at a time.
* Fall of ‘88. I’m one bad MickyFicky, aren’t I?
For those more annoying whining moments wherein the toddler is Soooo Hiigghhh Piittchhheedddd Whhinnyyyy, perhaps a tune of High Enough will let your child know just how bad whiny and high pitched sounds (also that it doesn’t make more than one song hit the charts).
When the playdate turns in to a fist-fight over Elmo, it’s always appropriate to sing a little Cinderella.
If you’re trying to convey the unfairness of the world at large,...
Poltergeist, exorcism, and that damn ghost kitty Apr 24, 2007
#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz#The Flinger Family
I’ve talked openly about my child’s refusal to nap and its subsequent effect on me. We’ve been battling the “Nap Issue” for some time now. Eons ago, Oma said “perhaps she’s just giving it up?” to which I threw tomatoes at her and booed very loudly. I may have even hissed, I’m not sure. Either way, I know that even if SHE thinks she does not need a nap, *I* know she does. She claims she wants to go play because “my eyes aren’t tired, Mommy!” but I see this:
Sometimes after a struggle, she really will nap. And that? Is a sort of exorcism here.
I haven’t found the solution to prevent my own head from spinning 360 degrees or the flames darting out of my own eyes on days she doesn’t nap....
You shouldn’t have to think this early on a Monday, but… Apr 23, 2007
#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
This weekend we did some of the “to do” items from the “before our lives change and never really go back” list. We finally did some small things like put up the ties for the blind-pulls so the toddler doesn’t end up strangled while we ignore her to feed the baby. We re-arranged their closet to fit all of CB’s new baby things. We got the stuff to stain the diaper changing station and a few other home projects that we’ve neglected. Just having marked off several list items made me feel like this little man actually might fit in our tiny house.
But there’s an item on my list that I really am not good at. It’s something I’ve confessed here before. I have “make dinners and place in freezer” on my list. But...
Some with bling, some without Apr 22, 2007
I’m finding out that awards come in various packages. Some of them get passed by friends*, others take votes** and nominations***, some may be real or fake, some are in the form of a kind word about a pregnant belly, and some come in unexpected emails and comments from strangers. Some have bling. Some do not.
I hope it’s not a sign of things to come Apr 19, 2007
I don’t often speak of political or late-breaking news. I usually don’t touch current affairs. I leave those topics to the so-called “experts” But, quite honestly, the latest information about the VA Tech tragedy is eating away at my hope for the future. I’m sad and horrified on behalf of the families and friends of the victims. But the fact that we’re allowing video from the killer, we’re allowing our kids to watch him get his fame, his air-time, his publicity, disappoints me to no end.
Anyone who raised a toddler knows there’s such a thing as “negative attention.” If my child acts out, sometimes she’s doing so simply for attention. When appropriate, I try not to give it to her. I let her throw a fit, scream...
Our Son Apr 17, 2007
Today we caught a glimpse into our youngest child’s world. While a mother knows many things about the person growing inside of her, like his resting times, his active times, which body part is poking her ribs, the Dad only hears second hand, “He’s moving! Come here quick!” There are times, I’m sure, that Mr. Flinger feels a little slighted with the experience of growing an actual person. There are times, that is, until I’m puking or swelling, failing diabetes tests or having contractions. Today, though, he had the chance to peek at his first son, our second child, and it made the entire experience just that much more real and rich and amazing.
Internet? I’m growing an entire human being in my stomach. That. Is. Amazing.