Fixing Mrs. Flinger Feb 20, 2015
I'm currently working on this website. I want to add back the links to blogs I love, some ways to find content easier, and put in archive, at last, some of the ancient articles. Come back to see updates.
Mother’s Day: A summary May 13, 2007
#Good News#The Flinger Family
I had a fantastic weekend. Full of all kinds of boring details and sentences that start with “why I love my family” and end with “I had three sips of beer!” Instead of boring you with all the details I’ll cherish for months to come, I’ll just give you the brief overview:
The short short version? Even on the best of weekends, a mom’s job is much the same.
Hope yours was just as wonderful.
Satisfying like a Rice Cake May 12, 2007
#Getting to know me
When I was a little girl, I had this feeling I would describe as a used-up audio tape.* In my limited understanding of the world at seven years old, I knew enough to use objects to express my feelings to others. So, when I found myself completely dissatisfied with the length of audio one could obtain when using her Fisher Price Tape Recorder, I realized I felt this way sometimes with my life. My poor, pathetic, seven-year-old middle class life. Oh, woah-is-me, I know.
I quickly learned not to tell my Mom I was bored. This usually led to raking the yard or cleaning my room. So to say, “I feel like a used up audio tape,” I was actually saying how completely unsatisfying the day was turning out to be and how even if I tried to rewind and go back, it would just be the same...
His first video May 10, 2007
Little Man will be staying put until the already appointed eviction date. As much as I’d like to kick him out early, I also know I’ll be screaming to put him back in about two weeks later, so I’ll just use this time to freshen up my mad nesting skillz and organize the closets and myriad of children’s clothes he’s already accumulated. We’re all just about ready. We’re putting the final touches on things like “put together cradle” and “wash clothes” and “install car seat.” LB is repeating what happens when mommy goes to the hospital and how she’s a big sister just like Dora. (Including how Boots is also a big sister and will be coming home from the hospital with her baby brother. I let this...
Call God or maybe Bruce Lee; the baby is EATING MY BRAIN May 09, 2007
#Pregnancy#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
Hi there! Well, hello! I can’t seem to keep my mind focused on one thing longer than .2 seconds, which is not long enough to write a post, mind you, and thus have attempted to write FOUR THOUSAND posts in the last two days, all of which look something like this:
“You know how when….”
“One day I was…..”
“It was a dark and stormy night….”
Ok, no, that last one was the start of my latest best-selling-novel that never got past seven words long. It was a damn fine read, though, in my head.
I’ve started seven projects, three websites, two loads of laundry and a grocery list, all of which remain unfinished. I believe I washed half the kitchen floor, but the kitchen floor runs in to the dining room floor and runs in to the...
I like my cars like I like my jeans: Compact looking, roomy inside. May 07, 2007
#Pregnancy#The Flinger Family
We’ve hit another milestone in life, much like the expanding wardrobe and increasing panty sizes, our cars are feeling a little too tight lately. I’ve had a Subaru Outback Sport (see? I’m SPORTY! My car says so!) for about five years now. Five years ago children were a mere mention. One child, let alone two, was hardly conceivable and as a single woman with a nice job, I was able to make whatever decision I wanted. I wanted sporty. Because? I felt sporty.
Just like Guess Jeans, my car isn’t meant for a behemoth pregnant lady coming dangerously close to weighing the same thing her husband does. In fact, we’ve recently traded cars so my belly would fit behind the wheel and I could get the SheChild in the car without breaking a disc or giving myself a...
Taking love a little too far May 07, 2007
#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
You remember two years ago when I got my DVR for mother’s day? Remember how I dry-humped the box when it showed up? Remember how we never have to resent our first-born child because she prevents us from watching LOST or Grey’s Anatomy?
Last night while we sat on the couch watching the DVR recorded Grey’s, the baby made some convulsive moves and my belly jumped three feet to the left. “LOOK!” I yelled, “Wait, Let me rewind it…” I said as I pointed the DVR remote at my belly shortly before realizing what I was doing.
Pregnant-brain is a dangerous affliction.
Brought to you from the makers of tampax, hose, and heels May 04, 2007
I want to tell you about the amazing Baby Shower we had last weekend. About some of my favorite people that all came to celebrate our little boy’s birth. About the loot, the food, and the activities. I want to tell you about how we painted canvases and wrote birthday cards to our little man and how these things mean more to me than a million gifts.
I want to, but I can’t because maternity clothes are made by a man.
While rummaging through all the shower photos, I realized ninety percent of them were not fit for the World Wide of Webs. Some smartass at Old Navy, Gap and Motherhood Maternity came up with the brilliant idea that bellies will look great under cute little shirts that show ample cleavage. (Because? Pregnant women have cleavage, yes, thank you, we do.) Some...
From Sane to Totally Losing Your Shit in 12 hours or less: A timeline May 02, 2007
#Pregnancy#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
May 1: Officially 34 weeks pregnant.
11:00 AM- Whilst talking to a group of moms, have contraction. “BlahblahBlah.. uugghhhhh… uuhhhhhh… pppffffffff…. BlahBlahBlah.” Perhaps mention that you’ve been noticing more of these braxtin gigs lately. Also, they hurt.
12:00PM- Have lunch outside with Mr. Flinger. Choose a Venti water at Starbucks instead of coffee because uuugghhhhhhh… uhhhhh.. ppffffffffff contracting. Remember that last time around false labor is most usually brought on by dehydration.
1:00 PM- Pee
1:30 PM- Pee
2:00 PM- Keep contracting. Mention to a few people that you feel like the “Pre-Labor Flu” you were so thrilled to feel at week 37 last time around. Mention that labor feels eminent. Mention how you...
The 25th hour May 01, 2007
Damn that blog karma. Naturally, you make a large, sweeping claim like “haven’t been to the ER this pregnancy..” and VIOLA! Contractions started at 4:30 today and haven’t stopped. I’m feeling like general dog shit and expecting to see a face looking up from my cooch every time I go potty.
Five weeks and three days left.
I think I’m done.