Mother’s Day: A summary 13/May/2007

I had a fantastic weekend. Full of all kinds of boring details and sentences that start with “why I love my family” and end with “I had three sips of beer!” Instead of boring you with all the details I’ll cherish for months to come, I’ll just give you the brief overview:

The short short version? Even on the best of weekends, a mom’s job is much the same.

Hope yours was just... Read more

Satisfying like a Rice Cake 12/May/2007

When I was a little girl, I had this feeling I would describe as a used-up audio tape.* In my limited understanding of the world at seven years old, I knew enough to use objects to express my feelings to others. So, when I found myself completely dissatisfied with the length of audio one could obtain when using her Read more

His first video 10/May/2007

Little Man will be staying put until the already appointed eviction date.  As much as I’d like to kick him out early, I also know I’ll be screaming to put him back in about two weeks later, so I’ll just use this time to freshen up my mad nesting skillz and organize the closets and myriad of children’s clothes he’s already accumulated.  We’re all just about ready. We’re putting the final touches on things like “put together cradle” and “wash clothes” and “install car seat.” LB is repeating what happens... Read more

Call God or maybe Bruce Lee; the baby is EATING MY BRAIN 09/May/2007

Hi there! Well, hello! I can’t seem to keep my mind focused on one thing longer than .2 seconds, which is not long enough to write a post, mind you, and thus have attempted to write FOUR THOUSAND posts in the last two days, all of which look something like this:

“You know how when….”

“One day I was…..”

“It was a dark and stormy night….”

Ok, no, that last one was the start of my latest best-selling-novel that never got past seven words long. It was a damn fine read, though, in my... Read more

I like my cars like I like my jeans: Compact looking, roomy inside. 07/May/2007

We’ve hit another milestone in life, much like the expanding wardrobe and increasing panty sizes, our cars are feeling a little too tight lately. I’ve had a Subaru Outback Sport (see? I’m SPORTY! My car says so!) for about five years now. Five years ago children were a mere mention. One child, let alone two, was hardly conceivable and as a single woman with a nice job, I was able to make whatever decision I wanted. I wanted sporty. Because? I felt sporty.

Just like... Read more

Taking love a little too far 07/May/2007

You remember two years ago when I got my DVR for mother’s day? Remember how I dry-humped the box when it showed up? Remember how we never have to resent our first-born child because she prevents us from watching LOST or Grey’s Anatomy?

Last night while we sat on the couch watching the DVR recorded Grey’s, the baby made some convulsive moves and my belly jumped three... Read more

Brought to you from the makers of tampax, hose, and heels 04/May/2007

I want to tell you about the amazing Baby Shower we had last weekend. About some of my favorite people that all came to celebrate our little boy’s birth. About the loot, the food, and... Read more

From Sane to Totally Losing Your Shit in 12 hours or less: A timeline 02/May/2007

May 1: Officially 34 weeks pregnant.

11:00 AM- Whilst talking to a group of moms, have contraction. “BlahblahBlah.. uugghhhhh… uuhhhhhh… pppffffffff…. BlahBlahBlah.” Perhaps mention that you’ve been noticing more of these braxtin gigs lately. Also, they hurt.

12:00PM- Have lunch outside with Mr. Flinger. Choose a Venti water at Starbucks instead of coffee because uuugghhhhhhh… uhhhhh.. ppffffffffff contracting. Remember that last time around false labor is most usually brought on by dehydration.

1:00 PM- Pee

1:15PM-... Read more

The 25th hour 01/May/2007

Damn that blog karma. Naturally, you make a large, sweeping claim like “haven’t been to the ER this pregnancy..” and VIOLA! Contractions started at 4:30 today and haven’t stopped. I’m feeling like general dog shit and expecting to see a face looking up from my cooch every time I go potty.

Five weeks and three days left.

I think I’m done.

Read more