Fixing Mrs. Flinger Feb 20, 2015
I'm currently working on this website. I want to add back the links to blogs I love, some ways to find content easier, and put in archive, at last, some of the ancient articles. Come back to see updates.
The sleep deprivation, it is taking over my brain Jun 29, 2007
#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
Only just recently, the weeks of getting 5 or 6 hours of sleep a night in two hour chunks finally caught up with me. Somehow, the following scene was wildly hilarious at the time and when recounting the experience to friends, I realized you really, really, really had to be there.
For posterity, here is Leslie’s brain on sleep deprivation:
Figure B: FLYING BABIES!
So we got desperate and started walking the baby at midnight. Then? We drag the stroller up the three flights to our room and leave him there.
(I may be witty in another three months. Or! Maybe I’ll even be thoughtful! OR! DRUNK! OR! OOOEEYYIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEE. I miss sleeping.)
Did I tell you about the time… (It’s a Play-Along Post!) Jun 27, 2007
#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz
I know I posted a little about Baby O’s birth story. But what you don’t know is that I left out one very ironic and very ME piece of information. It’s the kind of information that rivals walking around the mall with toilet paper stuck to your shoe or your skirt tucked in to the back of your pantyhose. It’s the kind of information that is only horrific if you DON’T tell people and if you do, well, it’s downright hilarious. It becomes an inside joke. It makes you more real. And people, if there’s one thing I am, it’s real.
So there I am, on the operating table, legs spread-eagle, spinal-tap in place vaguely aware of the nurse putting the cathedar in and my doctor turns to his partner and asks him to step up to the table. “Leslie,”...
Wordless Wednesday 2: Life doesn’t change that much Jun 27, 2007
Miricales, Angels, and a Grande White Chocolate Americano Jun 24, 2007
#Depth and Faith
Despite being raised Catholic, I do not believe in Angels. At least, not in the “people in the sky with wings and halos” sense of the word. Much to my Mother’s dismay, I don’t even believe in God. At least not in the traditional “bearded man sipping gin and tonic in the clouds” sort of way. (Doesn’t everyone’s God sip G&T? Or is that just me?)
Maybe I believe in miracles. Maybe I believe good will always triumph over evil in the end. And maybe I believe God uses Starbucks baristas with moppy blond hair and a dopey grin just when you need it most.
We received a stack of discharge instructions about Baby O’s homecoming, most of which scare the ever-living-shit out of me making me a germ-a-phobe hypochondriac,...
Would you rather… Jun 22, 2007
You know how when you’re young and agile, you sit around with your friends discussing the latest episode of Boston Common? And then you know how you hit thirty and you sit around with your friends at your only Mom Night Out in year that you’ve had single drink and you play, “Would you rather?” And you know how you discuss for a good hour or more the merits of carrying around a colostomy bag verses having your foot cutoff?
Because seriously? A colostomy bag? Or a missing foot?
I’d take the foot. You?
Note, it’s not required that you drink before answering this question. But if you have the opportunity, say, whilst sitting around a table with three of your friends and this topic comes up, be sure to remind your friend choosing the colostomy bag...
Month One: AKA sobbing while picturing you going off to college even as you can’t conrtol your neck Jun 21, 2007
Baby O is one month old. My son, my last born child, the tiny 5 pound little man, is one month old. And I can already picture him walking out of the house in 18 years, loading his car, heading off to college and watching with both pride and tears of remembering the time he was one month old.
We’ve come a long way, Baby O, from people joking about the beach ball under my shirt to those gawking at the beautiful boy I hold. For whatever reason, yours or my body’s, you blessed us almost a month early because you knew we couldn’t wait to love on you. You grew strong quickly in the NICU and dozens upon dozens of people prayed for you and cheered you on. They cheered us all on as we sat by your side every day stroking your arm and whispering words of love and...
To me, two years from now Jun 19, 2007
#Rants and Raves#Baby O
We’ve reached the point in Baby O’s life were his eye-lids don’t seem to work if he’s laying down on his own. That is to say, the minute you lay a completely sleeping baby down, his eyes pop open and he starts fussing and crying. Girlhood doesn’t prepare you for this day, what with the dolls that ALWAYS closed their eyes when they laid flat in the pretend crib.
Dolls should come with reflux.
I believe it’s some sort of Karmac payback for uttering the words, “I might want another one…” And now? I’m so [enter every four letter word you can think of here which is probably more than I can think of right now on three hours of sleep] tired.
This post brought to you by the makers of condoms.
You don’t have to be Einstine to google (But I am) Jun 16, 2007
Last week we talked to another pediatrician about Baby O’s increased crying. Armed with a healthy knowledge of reflux and colic from our previous experience raising a baby, we took fantastic notes for four days before calling with an irrefutable list of evidence. Dr. McYummy agreed and he handed us the flux-juice that promised to make our lives as near normal as parents with a newborn can expect. Life will still suck, he tells us, but it’ll suck a lot less.
We’ve been pushing the flux-juice on Baby O for four days. Life is indeed improving. Baby O cries in an almost predictable pattern and follows all “normal newborn” fussiness. How do I possibly know what normal newborn fussiness is when my last child screamed 5 hours a day for 4 months?...
Not like any SPAM add you’ll ever see Jun 14, 2007
#Rants and Raves
Mrs. “Holy hell my nipples are rock hard.”
Mr. “Pumping is the Mom’s Viagra?”
Mrs. “I think I’ve reached the six hour limit and should call a doctor. I’ve had a boob erection for days.”