Welcome aboard Flinger Flight 666. Next destination: Hell.
We’re proud to serve you goldfish and fruitsnacks for your inflight meal. Your movie will be “Elmo’s Potty Time” on a loop. You’re aboard a special flight filled with a scientific experiment where your children have been sleep deprived and starved and are needing your attention.
In case of an emergency, there are no exists.
Thank you for choosing Flinger Airlines.
We were going along just splendidly, or rather as splendidly as one with a new baby could possibly be going along, when BLAMO! The ‘flux hit the house. LB had the flux. We weren’t aware that’s what was going on until well in to my “I hate being a mom OHMYHELL what did we... Read more
Mrs. F. PPffttt. I won’t be able to do my wordless wednesday this week.
Oma: Why not?
Mrs. F. I can’t find our condoms. And oh my god, I just told my mom I can’t find our condoms.
Oma: I think they’re under the sink in LB’s bathroom.
Mrs. F. How in the world do you know THAT?
Oma: I thought it was fruit. Then I saw the label.
Mrs. F: ..... Crawls under rock .......
Surprisingly, you people love to talk vajayjays and beer. Or babies. Or my lack of s.e.x life. Or d) all the above. Which suits me just fine because right now, as of this moment, I have nothing Read more
Things got a little ... complicated this week. It’s not just having two children that makes life… complicated. It’s not just having a preemie that makes life ..... complicated. It’s not just that a two year old is ... complicated. No, it’s what happens to your body after you go through the miracle of creating an entire human being, growing that person who will one day grow up and be a president of a major corporation or a doctor or a teacher or a... Read more
Like everything else in my life as of late, I started to post a “Watch us leave the house: IN REAL TIME” a while back. Then, I dunno, the kids need things. My Mom needs things. I have to pee. Someone throws herself on the ground for a fit and hits her knee yelling, “I BONK! I BONK! I BOOONNK!” I sigh, stand up, and completely give up writing about how it’s impossible to accomplish anything in one sitting. Ironic.
So, instead of real time, here are pieces of “The Flingers Leaving” filed under “So you think you want two?”
5:00 AM- Festivities begin! The baby feeds, grunts, whimpers and burps for an hour.
6:00 AM- Mr. Flinger gets up to head to work. Scratch that, Mr. Flinger lets snooze go off for... Read more