Mrs. Flinger: Based on a True Story

Payback is a yitch and I’m another Beer older 28/Oct/2007

Dear Mom,

I was born in 1975. Subtract the 20 and carry the one and… count the toes, and that makes me thirty-two. (32)

image

I’m forgiven for forgetting your birthday that time, right?

Love, your daughter who isn’t lying about her age just quite yet.

P.S. The car is lovely, though.
P.S.S. I appreciate it and I did get the... Read more

Are we all bumbo bumbling idiots? 25/Oct/2007

#Life#Best Of#Getting to know me#Mother F.U.C.K.E.R.#Rants and Raves

Seriously? As in ... Seriously? You’re kidding, right?

These are the first thoughts that ran through my head upon hearing about the Bumbo Seat Recall. I have a Bumbo Seat. We love the Bumbo Seat. Baby O sits up in his Bumbo Seat. It’s a blue, soft, squishy seat of wonderfulness.

Baby O give it a thumb up. Or down. He’s really not sure what those things are on the end of his hands yet…

Read more

Preventing/Combatting PPD on Blogher’s Mother Act Day 24/Oct/2007

#post partum depression

I’ve been pretty open about my past experience with Postpartum Depression (or Postpartum Mood Disorder as it’s now known as). I always thought this was important because nobody was talking about it when I was going through it in 2004. I felt alone. I was lost. Nobody told me I might not want to be around my new baby or that I’d regret having her in the first place. I assumed this made me a horrible mother. What I didn’t realize, is... Read more

You are dying to know, aren’t you? 22/Oct/2007

#Life#Weght Loss and Body Image

I have numbers 3,4,5 and a bonus number 6 (!) on how to combat Postpartum Mood Disorder (or PPD if you had it back in 2004 like I did when it wasn’t “out there” yet.) But right now I’m busy getting everyone healthy. JOIN THE MASSES! Get Thee ASSES! Smaller! Smaller! GOooOOOoooOOOO ASSES!

Wow. Ok, that’s the red wine talking. My ONE glass of merlot thanks to Agatson. One glass and I turn in to Save the Cheerleader, Save the World.

Who knew? (Oh, right, they did, and so did they, and her, and Read more

We Interupt this fun PPD discussion to talk about my vajayjay 19/Oct/2007

#Rants and Raves

After an impromptu doctor’s appointment wherein I got “the speculum action” (the most action I’ve seen, by the way, in some time) I was on my way home when I called my husband and found out some interesting bits of information. And by interesting, I mean annoying as all hellfire. It prompted the following promotion for mamaspod and the first podcast wherein I discuss my hayhay.

Something tells me it won’t be the last.

Read more

Part 2: Combating/Preventing PPD* updated now with more strusell (muffin—- get it?) 18/Oct/2007

The second, and to me the most helpful, tip my shrink (yes, yes, I have one, get over it already) is to exercise.

Uh. WHAT? Exer-hu?

I know. You’re not sleeping. You’re tired. You’re fat. (You feel fat, lemme rephrase this, you ARE NOT FAT. You just had a baby and your body is yelling at you to be nice, damnit!) And now you’re expected to go workout. Right?

Right.

The thing is, working out is more than just a thing to get in the way of washing bottles/nursing/laundry/being asleep. It’s an energizer. It actually changes your brain chemistry. It helps you get your body back and it develops your muscles to handle the... Read more

Part 1: Combating/Preventing PPD 14/Oct/2007

#post partum depression

For some time now I wanted to do a series about preventing/combating Postpartum Depression. I have a shrink, (gasp, what? You DON’T?! Don’t you know everyone has a shrink? How uncool of you..) that I saw before I even had Baby O. After my last experience, I thought I better have someone in my pocket in case I decided to lock myself in the bathroom and cry for a few hours a day. If you know me, that’s not anything near my normal self and not someplace I needed to visit again.

My (tres hip) shrink had some good things to say. In fact, she gave me five things to work on to help me through the first year of postpartum shifts, otherwise known as hell. These five... Read more

Haiku “I have a blog”? 12/Oct/2007

It’s time for HAI HAI HAIKU KU KU FRI FRI DAY DAY DAY

Where the hell are you
Ask all ten people who read
I am here barely

Two kids and a job
An announcement to come soon
After a long day

(Haiku friday via Jennifer. AKA: COOLEST bitch in the west, er, Alabama)

Read more

Goals Are Good 05/Oct/2007

#Parenting Siblings#Working Mom

Today’s goal: Make ToDo list.
Tomorrow’s goal: Check Off ToDo list.

Not on the list: Whatever-the-hell-I’m-doing-now

(This extremely short post brought to you by my daughter, who does not nap and my son, who is teething.)

Read more

There’s a good chance I’ll be washing my mouth out with soap later 04/Oct/2007

Heard on the playground:

LB, speaking to another little girl about her age whom she just met, “Oh, man! That’s what I’m allowed to say. Oh, Man. Like Swiper. Not fuckit like Daddy. Only boys can say Fuckit. Mommy says Oh, Crap. But we say Oh, Man because we’re girls.”

Cussing is now restricted to blog entries only. It’s the only way. My only outlet. You lucky bitches, you.

Pass the Ivory.

Read more