Text From Mr. Flinger: Am Going To Be Late. C U after Kidz R In Bed
Thoughts by Mrs. Flinger: Oh No He Didn’Read more
A little ala FussyPants style:
We took Baby O for his first swing experience the other day. I realized LB I had a picture of LB around the same time swinging her first. So here they are, experiencing the joy of flying, freely through the air with nothing but strong metal and plastic keeping them safe.
A few days ago I was sitting in my home, with the children running and crawling all about us, talking to some good friends. We were comparing our twenties and now our thirties. We agreed we’re more comfortable in our skin, more confident, more sure of ourselves. We spoke of regrets, things we’d change, and those we’d do again. But overall, we were pleased with the possibilities of this decade and thought it held the most promise so far.
It’s not a new theme: the men getting wiser and more handsome, the women more horny. If you combine those two, you end up with two Stay At Home Moms joining their preschoolers’ class trip to see a fireman giggling and poking each other like school girls because (seriously, what IS IT) there is something that happens... Read more
This is what I heard from the customer service representative for Starbucks today. He was just the kind of sweet talkin’ man that I believed him. Really. (Of course, I also believed Jesus came from a Virgin and my Dad didn’t know how to change the toilet paper so I may not be the best judge of character.)
Here’s how things played out:
A few days ago, I ordered my usual non-fat/sugar free blahblahblah. I was informed this is now a “skinny” latte. “Oh, skinny?” I giggle. Because really? Skinny Latte? Isn’t that a bit presumptuous? So I reapeat, “Fine, skinny, yes. That’s what I’d like.” It gets rung up at 4.15. “Yesterday it was 3.70” I tell the barista. “It’s... Read more
Warning: You may only get half your leg shaved if this, or any other birth control, fails. “Mommy, I pooooppeeddd and I need you to wipe me. NNNooOWWWW”
Condoms are only 97% effective. Consider double-ing up. (Or Quadrupling)
Heard, very recently, at The Flinger’s:
[SHRIEK!] [MELTDOWN] “He’s going to eat my strollerrrrrrrr! NooOOOOOOoooooooooo”
“He’s not going to eat your stroller, he’s just going to roll it around and lick it a little.”
Things heard at your house?
(Baby O says, “I will eat your... Read more
I taught preschool for a few years. Did you know this? No? I did. It was the year I switched from Elementary Ed and went for Computer Science. That’s how profound the experience was for me. P.R.O.F.O.U.N.D.
Anyway, so I had this kid in my class, this really cute little guy named Evan. Evan was 4 years old when we met. He had a tremendous crush on me. “Miss Leslliieee” he’d say, “I made you a necklace!” He once told his parents he was going to marry me. “No, son,” his dad said, “She doesn’t make enough money.” I loved his parents.
He was the kind of kid everyone wants to have in their class, the kind of kid everyone wants to be friends with and the kind of kid that would befriend the shyest girl in the... Read more
One of the funniest memories Mr. Flinger and I have about being first time parents, is the time we went to Borders Books with our 5 week old. We had the large diaper bag, the bjorn, the carrier, two blankets, binki, bottles, a lovey and I think, maybe, a baby with us.
People laughed at the amount of stuff we were carrying. We did not.
Over the years, I’ve been known to (let’s say) carry too much?
Now, though, I’m pairing down. Diaper bags are getting smaller (a lot like the cell phone or MP3 player or a my... Read more
Do you ever wake up, look around, hear your kids in the next room and go, “when the hell did THAT happen? I have.. kids? TWO KIDS?”
I always heard marriage was hard work. To me, as a young married person, I never got it. Marriage? Marriage was never work. Marriage was the one thing that made sense to me. It was the single decision that I didn’t mind making. That was the easy part.
Married with children, on the other hand, not so much.
But some days, even among the most frustrating of them, it’s not the marriage part that’s hard, really. It’s just the kid part. And I wonder… does anyone ever explain this to the young folk? And this... Read more
I don’t know if it’s in the Mom code, but my mother used to say this line to me in the midst of punishing me, usually via spanking, as I cried. “This hurts me more than it hurts you.” I remember thinking, “Oh yea, lady? Bend over and let’s find out.”
Today I took away LB’s first “privilege”. After walking over the umpteenth book and seeing the pages ripped laying strewn all over the floor, I sat down and quietly said, “LB, why do you hate your books so much? You are always ripping them.” She looks concerned, baffled, (as if she has never seen a ripped page and didn’t JUST tear it out a few minutes ago… Me? She looks lost..) and says to me “Ok, I won’t do it anymore.” This... Read more