I composed this letter to my children while I watched them today. It’s a rough draft, something I’ll re-write for years and years, but for now, a little weepy/emotional/slightly irrational and disgusting “Dear God Bring On The Dot Soon” post. (The “dot” brought to you by my good friend Karen who made me nose air when I heard it. Oh, Nose Air? That thing you do when you’re IMing someone and not really laughing but giggle through your nose, affectionately coined by MIchelle and I. Now, where was I?)...
To My Children,
I won’t apologize for talking a little too loudly, for disciplining you a little too often, for making you turn off the TV. I will keep... Read more
That’s right, it’s the blog experience you wait for with baited breath. It’s here: Friday. And that means in blogland, it’s Friday Flashback.
(For some reason I can only hear Casey Cassum speaking now as I type so excuse the extra layer of cheese in this post. It’s late and my brain has been infiltrated by an 80’s pop radio countdown host.)
Brought to you, as always, by the lovely Catherine and Tracey, todays challenge is to post a photo of an object that is near and dear to you. Rules: No, don’t post your children. For real? We know that. We read your blog. It’s a given. Also, it must be an OBJECT. As in, something you’d grab in case... Read more
I’m really not sure if I should, you know, SAY something here? Or if that’s too tacky? I don’t want to be tooting my own horn but this would be a much improved kind of toot than the norm in my house. And if I don’t say anything at all, is that ungrateful? Because that is, for sure, not the case.
I don’t know if y’all remember in February when Blogher ran the writing contest, “Share your plans for living healthy in 2008 and win a trip to BlogHer 08”. I saw, I entered, and then plum forgot. Because I do that a lot. Forget things, that is. Plus I never win anything but it’s always worth a try, isn’t it?
Except this time was different. Someone picked my post. Some-ONES picked... Read more
I’m learning where the older sibling “Look at me!” syndrome came from.
This week’s flashback has a new, and thought provoking, theme. “Where were you when…?” The prompt comes via Cahterine and Tracey, “Our parents’ generation can recall exactly what they were doing when JFK was shot - it’s a cultural moment that defines a generation. What big cultural event occurred during your childhood/youth that you recall clearly, if juvenilely? What was its impact on you?” Living only 15 minutes from NASA in Houston, this is the first thing that came to mind. The Challenger.
I remember being in class, Mrs. Pear’s Class, Fifth Grade. As usual on launch days, she ushered... Read more
I’ve been a bit saucy, what from being cooped up in our house for three gdayammothereffing days. And, what with being cooped up and all, I use my only outlet to the Real World: Teh Internet. So, you may, or may not, have received emails including the following verbage. And if you did not, by god, consider yourself lucky.
I’m hoping to pass off my children today so I can go get some, you know, actual work done since working from home is like sticking my face in a cement mixer and trying to add.
God, that probably got tossed to spam the minute I typed whorish. Or maybe panties. Or LOOOK! You can have a GIGANTIC PENISSSSS.
Let’s just make this all official since I already have his balls in a mason jar.
And, because... Read more
You know those trend starter types? The ones who can make waking up in the morning and posting a picture of themselves, Sans makeup, cool? The ones who can say, “Ppppssttt, you should do it TOOOOooo” and you go “OK!”
So here I am, all muchtoogodforsaken early without caffeine, makeup, or a shower. Or Sleep. Because last night was a marathon of Rock-Snuggle-Rock-Lay-CRYCRYCRY-Rock-Snuggle-Lay repeat.
There’s a big discrepancy among my friends that makes me need to post a question to you. It’s of dire importance, naturally, as I wouldn’t waste your valuable, precious time if it wasn’t.
If there is a men’s room and a women’s room, both the exact same except the sign on the door, do you wait in line for a busy women’s room?
Or do you go to the men’s room?
I ask because once, as a very very large pregnant woman, I stood in line at... Read more
I was recently asked if having two children was worth it. After all the sleepless nights, the PPD, the jealous older sibling bit.
I finally have a way to express my answer:
I’d like everyone to say hello to Mr. Flinger and Sister Flinger: Both of whome decided, after years of asking, “Hey, you wanna read something I wrote?” decided THIS week was the week to start reading ye ol’ blog.
Hi Mr. Flinger! Hi Sister Flinger!
Already, we know Oma, the In-Laws and several clients read ye ol’ blog.
And one day, ye ol’ kids will.
I’m sure of it because she’s just like me.
So, Internet, I ask you,... Read more