Last night I had my first, full fledged panic attack. I haven’t had one in years, not since our car was totaled passing through a green light by a 19 year old on her cell. I used to have them on and off for a full two years or so after that day. It was almost always related to driving and it was almost always short lived and managable.
Last night, at 1:00 AM as I crawled in to bed, I literally thought I was going to die.
My throat closed.
My heart raced.
My head spinned.
I ran through the list of possibilities: allergies? virus? heart... Read more
There are some things in my life now that are so familiar, I can recall the smells and sounds as if I’m standing there, ten or twenty years ago. Others are so new and wirey, I can barely choke down the change before time is up and new smells and sounds arrive.
This morning on my jog, I turned the corner to the downhill in front of our street and saw the Cascade Range. It exudes summertime right now with the blue shadows and dusts of snow. It is one of those familiar sights to me while running that make this place home. I’m nearly 19 again running in cross country or... Read more
If I am going to be Brutally Honest with you today, Internet, let me tell you this:
I do not feel like blogging today. Blogging can suckit.
The cop that gave me a ticket in front of our friends because I was driving three miles over the previous speed limit prior to the change on a down-hill can suckit.
The thirty minutes I spent looking for my keys can suckit.
This Monday can suckit.*
<a... Read more
Taking my new addiction just a little too far:
That’s right. I’m a geek.
*hat tip to Karen for the
link and to
I’ve mentioned on perhaps only a half million occasions, that I have a slight tendency to hypochondria. :: GASP :: I know! Right? Like you had NO IDEA I’d be this way.
So when I smacked my head on the kids’ bunk bed tonight, I immediately turn to Mr. Flinger (who turns 34 today) and ask, “Are my pupils ok?”
Because hi, that is the natural next question.
I spent the next two or three hours playing with my eyeballs in the bathroom mirror. :: click light on :: pupils contract! :: click light off :: pupils dilate!... Read more
I mentioned my unfortunate need to exclaim “I will LICK you!” when I hear people I love will be going to BlogHer. I’d like to say I’m pretty much joking but given enough of the sauce, I may not be.
How is this brutally honest? The part of the “drinking of Teh Sauce” or the part about sharing germs via my tounge that is truly disgusting and sending people grabbing their purell?
To be Brutally Honest with you there are two things you need to know before I pull out the licks.
1. I love you. I read you. I sweartogod I... Read more
It’s amazing how a few days of sunshine will wash away literally weeks of shit-storm. How a few sunny mornings where the alarm goes off, the children remain in their bed, your husband is next to you softly breathing and the birds chirp pleasantries to each other can remove months of chill and dread and oppression. It reminds me of my husband’s response to the famous Sleepless In Seattle quote, “But it rains nine months of the year in Seattle,” which is, “Yup but you get three months off.”
Que late June.
If this blog gets a little steamy, please do not disturb. The InLaws are coming to take the kids for the night (two?) and the Mister and I will be romping around like the 17 year old selves we once were.
That’s right! We’ll be falling asleep on the couch watching movies at 9! :: snort ::
Happy Father’s Day.Read more
God, is she going to post more about how cold and crappy it is there? UGH. You know? Like she’s the ONLY person to deal with shitty weather? I mean, comeon, people are drowning in their beds in the mid-west and blahblahblah it rains in Seattle. Get over it already. GOD. Or is this another “Why I’m too busy for you” post that makes me so warm and fuzzy? Like yesterday’s old fruit? Because nothing says “love” like “you’re third on my list, blog, and, well, it’s a short list.”
Oh why hello there, Internet! Did you... Read more
They reached out their hands
icy fingers grasp
my hang in theirs cold
Parks open for summer
empty swings sway
in the wind and rain
Coats once hung
brought out again
huddling with blankets
A month ago today
Arizona sunny skies
My sister and a sunburn
Now faded tan
skin pasty white
icy cold feet