UPDATE TO Mrs. Flinger October 16, 2015
Because the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, after this delcaration, my blog threw up all over my last upgrade.
So I'm starting over using Craft. Turning 40 and kid entering Jr High next year, sometimes it's just time for a change. These archives will still exist in the way the last child goes off to college and their room is the same for 20 years, but it's just time to move forward.
Labor Day: A working mother’s question, a plea, and a pledge Sep 08, 2009
My family did what most other Seattle families did this Labor Day: We hunkered down and went out in the rain. As Seattle dwellers, we’re accustom to venturing out in the rain in our gear and rain boots. It’s what we do.
And so we did.
Shortly after these photos were taken, Toddler Boy started puking. The fever from two days ago apparently turned in to the flu and we spent most of the night cuddling, cleaning, and holding while his body rejected the virus.
I’ve never been one of those mothers who liked to fight about what was harder: staying home or working. I’m not one of those mothers that enjoys competing at that level (a nice healthy game of scattegories, though, is fair game) so I’m not interested in saying that because I am keeping my son home from preschool/daycare today I need sympathy for me and him. And, alternatively, I’m not looking for a lecture about being a working mom.
No. What I need is a tall red beer. And ear plugs.
It’s a fine line to walk, the working mother. On the one hand, there is the guilt, the pull, the tug of the family. On the other hand, there are bills, a housing market that failed miserably, and an education your children deserve. Toss in self-fulfillment and the fact that I love my job and you have one complex equation.
Some days are obvious: Today is a work day. Tomorrow is a holiday.
But most days are gray, overcast, misty with confusion and the lack of differentiation.
Especially the days one of the kids stay home sick.
I have not found the balance between working, focusing, and caring for the demanding, ill, little person. I haven’t been successful at holding my son, rocking him to sleep without thinking of the list I need to accomplish.
I do not seperate well.
I don’t have the answer. I don’t know how to be present in the thing I’m doing. I’m always in a million places focusing on how to get those million things to completion.
Yesterday for an hour and a half I was walking with my family on a path in the rain watching the ducks and the children. I wasn’t in my computer, I wasn’t in my to do list, I wasn’t in our finances. I was walking with my family. Purely. Simply.
Maybe I’m not great at separating my rolls yet. But I know I can have them work together. At least some of the times.
Or maybe just by asking the questions I’m admitting failure.
Either way. I don’t know how you do it.
How. Do. You. Do. It?
Things that happen in thirty days Sep 04, 2009
1. The moon waxes and wanes and makes a complete circle around the earth.
2. Women bleed.
3. You can fail at the thirty day challenge.
4. And Mrs. Flinger Finally Gets Around To Her Post-BlogHer BrewHAHA post.
First, I want to say a huge, gigantic, fabulous, big, wonderful shoutout to Johnson and Johnson for their fabulous give-away. I was one of the lucky winners in the BlogHer Travel Sweepstakes. I honestly don’t know what I’d have done without them. The contacts there are so wonderfully kind and helpful and I just need to shout out to J&J with a huge big HOWDYHO! And thank you. From a most humbled me.
Instead of recapping in a play-by-play fashion, I’ve been gnawing on an overview in my head since the flight home a month ago. I’ve been sorting out the details looking for the big picture, trying not to get too bogged down in the WHO and the WHERE. I enjoyed my time with so many people, both new friends and old friends. And since most everything has already been said about the swag, parties, mommy blogging, I have no need to rehash any of it because in the end, it’s what you take out of the conference that sticks with you…
...Even thirty days later.
The Big Picture
I spent a lot of time walking around Chicago with Amanda, my friend from work. She is smart, funny, a potty mouth, and I love her for all of it. Her perspective kept me grounded, focused. She writes. We talked about writing versus blogging. We talked about the depth of relationships and “the game” of blogging. In the end I realized where my priorities were shifting and how it was effecting relationships that I cared about, my job, my home life, my children.
My time with her was invaluable. I learned as much, or more, about blogging and my own intrinsic value simply from wandering Chicago with one of BlogLand’s most amazing, underground, bloggers.
The Love Fest
I’ve been blogging since August 2003. I’ve been in the community for a long long time. This provides time to meet, love, and admire people from WAY WAY back in, like, 2004. (!) In blog years, which are similar to dog years, that’s about twenty-five decades or roughly the time it takes to figure out what you want to do with your life.
And then you realize they are people.
And they love you back.
Jen is one such loveliness.
Schmutzie and her Palinode are long-time blog loves as well. And I simply adore them both with the flame of a thousand binary suns. As fellow web geeks, well spoken and down-right hilarious, they are a cozy hug in the middle of a conference of strangers. They are home.
Way way back in 2004, I read Busy Mom and just about died the first time she commented on my site. BUSYMOM, YO! And then she got twitter and made me laugh daily with her quick-wit hidden messages. (“Omeonsay Eedsnay Acationvay Omfray Ossbay”)
And finally, Finally, after all these years, I sat on her lap and followed her around like a pup.
It’s almost strange to me that I’ve never met Karen. Is that possible? That I’ve never actually MET her until this summer? We’ve worked together for two years now and have talked on the phone maybe a billion times but my first hug with the lovely lady that is so beautiful inside and out only happened this summer. And it was wonderful.
Megan is another phone-buddy of mine and someone I consider a “real life” friend. This is our third conference together but it feels as though she lives here in my neighborhood. Or maybe I just wish she did.
This year we had actual MEN at the conference! MEN! In a sea of women! It must’ve been heaven for them.
Or utter scary hell.
Either way, I had the opportunity to say hello to a friend. Maybe you heard of him? Chris Mann? He’s not totally hot or anything.
Theron is another boy that came to the Room 704 party. He is the president of People Pond and since we had a hard time calling him “Theron” we just referred to him as “Kent Cracker” because, comon, he’s so totally Clark Kent. Right?
A surprising, wonderful, fabulous first time love of mine is Sleepy New Mommy. I FECKING LURVE HER. Obviously.
Also, I adored meeting Megan from Megan’s Minute. She was a breath of logical fresh air and fun.
I met so many people, did not take enough pictures, fell in to a stupor of love and overwhelmed dehydration, and took terrible notes. But I remember people, the ones who were kind, who I did not see enough of, who are lovely inside and out. And I hope to see them more, both online and off.
I can’t say enough about Lotus (whom I was almost killed by a car for whilst hugging until Amanda saved me) and my fellow 704 party throwers. They are my tribe. And I would not have survived without them.
And oh, so many more people that I adore. I’m so blessed to know so many great souls. Seriously wonderful people that can cut loose, cuss, drink, laugh, share, and be a genuine person, a friend, a love.
I am blessed in multitude for what this community, this blog, has brought me.
And I would never have it without you.
All of you.
(For better recaps, see these lovely womenz that I had the joy of meeting in person and who say something nice about me. I pay them.)
Lotus’s fucking awesome hilariousness
Karen’s Canadian Recap, eh
Christine of the bean blog
PhD in parenting
The Pioneer Woman
Jodifur (who was a complete JOY to meet, a highlight for sure!)
And maybe yours, too, but I’m godawful at checking stats. GODAWFUL, I say. See also: paying bills. But that’s another story for another day.
A few projects Sep 01, 2009
I’ve been working with the Design Tramps to pump out a few projects recently. As my graphic pimps, I’m their sexy code whore. (Which, having typed that should really should get me the type of awesome, high quality traffic that is probably looking to hire a web developer who puts out. Sigh.)
A few of the most recent projects include, but are not limited to:
Huge thanks to the Design Tramps for being so fabulous to work with. I have a few more projects on my plate and more code to nom on. And I’ve never been happier.
Next up! TWO YEAR OLDS IN THE WOODS. And why I wish I still wore diapers.