Mrs. Flinger: A work in progress

UPDATE TO Mrs. Flinger October 16, 2015

Because the Universe has a wicked sense of humor, after this delcaration, my blog threw up all over my last upgrade.

So I'm starting over using Craft. Turning 40 and kid entering Jr High next year, sometimes it's just time for a change. These archives will still exist in the way the last child goes off to college and their room is the same for 20 years, but it's just time to move forward.

Body, Meet Image Dec 31, 2009

#Fitness#Weght Loss and Body Image

I started this post a while back, before Christmas, when I was beginning to analyze the correlation to my heavier times and having the “winter blues”. I wanted to have a nice sit-down with myself and really talk about how and why my body isn’t changing and why I’m unable to do the things I used to or look the way I think I do. All of this occurred before these ladies started discussing things like being plus-size vs working hard at fitness.  It’s ironic, in a very real ten-thousand-spoons sort of way, a touch serendipitous, and more than a bit refreshing to realize while I was here having a smack-down, drag-out discussion with myself, the internet was discussing it, too.


I’ve struggled with body image issues since I was old enough to realize I should. In sixth grade my best friend went on her first diet. I soon followed eating frozen grapes and doing Jane Fonda “No Pain No Gain” type workouts. I idolized Mary Lou Retton and her Saturday morning fitness show.

While other girls went different directions with their eating and exercise, I stayed focused. I dieted, read nutrition books, even planned on being a dietitian to the point I got my undergraduate degree in Exercise and Sport Science. But knowing about what to do and doing it are two very different things.

Never having a small frame, I was always the largest girl in gymnastics, the heaviest runner, the round girl that lifts weights. I described myself as “thick” because much of it was muscle. I grew muscles quickly, big guns, strong calves. I still have this ability when I utilize it.


What I do not have, is a petite self, a body that can weigh less than about 140 without looking ill, or lovely pale skin and eyes that offset each other in a perfect symmetric circle. Starving myself, working out, every diet in the world will not change that fact.

And yet, I tried.

And then I stopped trying.

Somewhere along the way I gave up. I still work out. I still eat fairly healthy. But I stopped giving it my best. In my head, I was still working out like a younger version of me, but the truth is, I’ve been in denial for a very long time. Pictures. Mirrors. My own image that stares back is colored with a vision that isn’t real.

I want to be real.


For as long as I remember, I’ve been on a path to perfecting my health. A path where I obsess too much, count too little, workout with mediocracy and end up in the same place, a circle of self loathing and denial.

The buck stops here, sister.

I’ve said this before, and I will say it again, and again, and again, I will train for my 5K, I will go to the gym, I will maintain what I’ve worked for but I will do so much more. It’s not a resolution so much as it is a promise to myself: Before I turn 35, I will, abso-fucking-lutely will, be in the best shape of my life.

I know what to do. Now it’s time to start doing it.

I promise to bore the hell out of you with details along the way. And maybe even a before photo or two. If there’s enough whisky in me first.

*These series of images have nothing to do with this post to you, but serve as a reminder to me about the day my children went to the park and let me chase them up the hill and down. I never want to miss out on these opportunities. Ever.

Winter Blues, Crystal Night Dec 30, 2009


My daughter shines

I wish I had something to say. Profound. Light.
A sparkle of words to twinkle in the windows of our crowded condo community.

But I don’t.

Instead I have shadows and early sunsets and evenings of lists not completed.
I have children to attend to. A house to keep.
Clients to say good-bye to. Friends to see.
A body I don’t recognize. A passion for movement, inside and out.

The holiday lights come down when winter puts up it’s first fight.
The days are short, so long is the night.

I wish I had something profound to say, but I don’t.
Nothing light. Nothing sunny. Nothing more than

Happy New Year.

Changes are coming.

The Birth Of A Great Idea- Mom Bloggers Run in SF in May 2010 Dec 28, 2009

Twitter is known for being the place of ideas. And if it’s not then it should be. The Following is a run down of how I committed, and drug a few other mom bloggers in with me, to run a 5K in San Francisco in May.






So here we are… running a 5K in San Fran in May. I like the sound of that.

Now we just have to find a race.

And train.

And somehow I feel more empowered because as a community, we spur each other forward. And I kinda dig that.


So if you’re wanting to join us, please do. You can never have enough virtual running partners. Even if, and I hear you, you haven’t run in “some time” or “my uterus jiggles as I jog” or “are you shitting me” is your excuse, I have the solution.

The Couch to Five K. Otherwise known as “that time I got off my ass and started jogging.”


What started as a goal for one man has become a revolution for many. I have a history of running, of doing road races and cross country races, and track meets. But my body has changed and I’ve aged and things move in places that use to be static. It’s a part of my history, not my present, which is why I’m employing my iPod to help, along with a band of ladies with a similar story.

Enter: The App.


With a way to control music, voice commands on when to run and when to walk and a way to update facebook, it’s my new best training love. (And no, I wasn’t paid a thing to say that. In face, I paid for my app and virtually humped it repeatedly after that so I guess you can say it’s my beesh?)

If you choose to join us, please let me know. Our list is growing, happily, and soon mom bloggers will be taking over the roads of San Francisco with a fresh attitude, fresh bodies, and a fresh reason to gather together.

The Poem Dec 27, 2009

#Family Life

It was the perfect temp
not a cloud in the sky
The mister took the kids
so maybe perhaps that I

could get in a run
for my new resolution
it wasn’t too cold
it was a perfect solution

I started out great
the wind in my hair
my feet on the gravel
a glorious affair

Then came a rumble
which turned in to fear
My mind raced
“Is there a toilet near?”

I stared in to miles
without any hope
There was no way to stop
I’d just have to cope

So off I did run
while clenching it tight
I hope nobody could tell
it was an awful sight

I started to sweat
not from heat, I believe
more of an internal struggle
to seek a reprieve

from the growing movements
from within my bowel
I looked around
did anyone else smell that foul?

The ditches looked great
more promising than grass
I just needed to find
something to wipe my ass

but find I could not
so off I kept running
the sound of my stomach
like a drum that was drumming

when finally at last,
I made it back to the start
I couldn’t help myself
a released a large fart

I glanced up with great angst
the sound of a jacknife
it came as my husband yelled
“So glad you’re my wife”

I ran right past them
my family await
and finally, at last,
with a sigh, it was great.

The GIANT! UPDATE! OF DOOM! Dec 27, 2009

#Family Life

This is how my vacation has gone thus far:

Things I plan to do today
- Some work for Catapult’s end days.
- Bake some bread
- Organize the copious amounts of shit in our house for the impending move.
- Workout
- Do some laundry
- Clean the bathrooms
- organize the office stuff before the start of the new year

Things I actually do in a day
- Play Mario Kart
- Take a nap

I impress with my skills.

We’ve had a rough go trying to kick a virus’s ass. The boy? Has been taken over by a large! motherfucking! virus! of doom!

Or some alien.

Merry Effing Christmas! From the trenches at toddlerhood from Mrs. Flinger on Vimeo.

Or Mario. I dunno. I forgot what real people look like.

We also realized we aimed a bit too low for this christmas. Behold: Our Christmas Wreath!


Yes, that’s right.

In other news, the Boy is without a diaper today. It’s telling when you feed your two year old son a candy cane where his sticky fingers end up.

You can even say we caught him red handed.


We hope your Christmas was as merry as possible and that your naps restored you and the Cheerios remain on your floor. Because that would make me feel so much better.


In an attempt to not be too Amy Grant, My Best Christmas Gift Dec 22, 2009

I’ve struggled with this week’s challenge, which is ironic since I came up with it. Challenge it is, though, as whatever I had in my mind at the time of creating it is long since slipped.  “My Most Memorable Christmas Gift.” It seems silly to think back, even sillier to remember what hit my top list in years past. So excuse the christian-singer-turned-secular-after-a-divorce-cheesy-christmas-list-song-ish of this post, but it’s all I can think of.

And it’s everything.

This is the year I’m most thankful. This year. This is my most memorable Christmas. I have two healthy children. I have a fantastic marriage, a husband who supports and cares and loves us all. I have a job I love, clients who became friends, friends who support me.  I have real people, genuine friends, and enough food in my kitchen. I have a new house that our family can’t wait to move in to. I have my parents, my in-laws, a sister whose family I enjoy and a brother-in-law who married a gal I like and is raising two kids of his own.

I want for nothing. It’s the best Christmas Present ever.


Join us in a challenge to write weekly at Write Of Passage where we encourage each other, grow as writers, and try new topics. Here are other essays in this week’s challenge:

An update: Clean Eating Flinger Style Dec 21, 2009


As it turns out, one can gain weight if one cooks all natural, whole, delicious home-cooked meals all the time.



Mylands but it’s so good.

I found an article I wanted to share with you. Clean Eating: Why Eating Clean Is The Unfad Diet That Works. I thought it has a pretty good run-down on the principles behind clean eating.

I’ve also decided I may need to take up another sport. Comon, folks, I’m lying to myself here. Do you really gain five pounds eating healthy? OR is it that you don’t workout as heartily as you once did and thus your calorie needs have dropped while your yummy food factor went up? I have a few friends that are in to bike racing. Manual Bike Racing, that is. As in road bikes. I don’t know if I’m one to be in to bike racing or not, but I like the idea of having a team to ride with, the easy-on-the-knee exercise and the hope that one day I can use my own two legs to get from Way Out Here to In To Town for work is a pretty neat goal to have.

I’ll let you know.

For now I might try to stay more on lines with this “sample” the article above lays out:

So under the Clean Eating approach, your meals for the day might look like this:

  • Breakfast: Bowl of oatmeal with fresh fruit and scrambled egg whites with one whole egg
  • Morning Snack: And apple with almond butter
  • Lunch: Sliced chicken breast (from a home-cooked chicken breast, not deli lunchmeat) on Ezekiel 4:9 sprouted grain bread with lettuce and tomatoes and a side salad with olive oil and vinegar dressing
  • Afternoon Snack: Low-fat, low-sugar homemade granola
  • Dinner: Salmon filet with herbed brown rice and steamed asparagus in Dijon mustard sauce
  • Evening Snack: Cup of low-fat cottage cheese with a handful of almonds

{W}: Lunch Box Dec 15, 2009


It’s that time of week again when I get all excited and horny seeing all the people that participate in the {W}rite-of-Passage challenge.

Except this week I’m going to pass myself because SOME PEOPLE totally wore me out and by wore me out I mean whore me out in Vegas.

Me n V

56 degrees poolside.





But here are the people who are much more awesome than I am. Please sign up to participate and to be critiqued.

Flinger’s Creed Dec 13, 2009



I grew up reciting the Apostles Creed every Sunday. I can still turn my mind off and repeat the prayer verbatim. Ironically, as I’m sitting in Sin City with a group of people I met online, I find myself creating a new creed.

A “Flinger Creed”, if you will.

We don’t believe in the Gods of Christianity, Islam, Hinduism, Christian Scientist or Judaism.
We believe in the wonder and amazement of nature and science.
We believe that kindness begets kindness.
We believe in the power of community, the strength of people caring for each other, the trickle-down effect of a single act of kindness.
We believe in family.
We believe in raising children to be free thinkers, to know they are loved for their choices and guide them to make good ones.
We believe you have the power to change your life. To create a new destiny. to mold a future of happiness.
We believe in the power of prayer, the knowledge of a greater community striving to find strength in difficulties, and the resulting wonder.

We believe you do not need a God to find your soul. We believe you don’t need a God to live Jesus’s words. We believe you don’t need a God to get to heaven on earth.

We believe your spirit lives forever as a memory in the community you create. For ever and Ever.


VEGAS BABY! (I hope oh I hope) Dec 10, 2009

#Family Life

I’m whispering this post. Please do not wake Karma

I think we’re going to Vegas tomorrow. :: looks around for Murphy ::

Remember the last time?

(Written the day we cancelled our trip to Vegas, May 3rd, 2009)
- You can realize you are no longer going to Vegas, the trip you need both for work and mental health.
- You can cry about that fact.
- Three times.
- You can get really sort of pissed off about it but realize there’s nothing you can do as you watch your son teeter around in his diaper bark-coughing his runny nose all over the house and he hoarsely yells “DAINS! DAINS! CHOO CHOO!”
- You can realize what an asshole you are.

I’m afraid to say anything. Murphy listens.

But I think we’re going to Vegas tomorrow for one of my dearest friend’s birthday. It is going to be crackertastic.


So if I’m not here, it’s because I’m probably passed out from the sheer excitement of our first child-free trip since August 4th, 2003.


Just don’t tell Karma that.