Fixing Mrs. Flinger Feb 20, 2015
I'm currently working on this website. I want to add back the links to blogs I love, some ways to find content easier, and put in archive, at last, some of the ancient articles. Come back to see updates.
Five Reasons I’m Glad I’m Not A Bobblehead Jun 30, 2010
1. I have a small tendency toward vertigo with my thick neck as it is.
2. Driving would be a bitch. (Did you see that car? ALL FIFTY OF THEM? No, wait, that’s just one car, wait, where did it go? OH THERE THEY ARE.)
3. People would want to put me on their dashboards with their other fugly hello-kitty bobbleheads and I HATE HELLO KITTY.
4. “Does this neck make my head look fat?”
5. Sarah Palin is a BobbleHead. That’s just fucked-up yo. THE END.
Having a mid-life-crisis at thirty-three thousand feet Jun 28, 2010
I tell people I’m going through a small mid-life crisis. They look at me, judging. “HmmMMmm,” they start, “I bet you’re not nearly mid-life. What are you? Thirty? You really expect to only live until sixty?”
To these people I put a pox on their eyebrows and ear hair.
Funny thing: Mid-Life can mean any time in which you wake up and look in the mirror and immediately proclaim “HOLYSHIT! WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED WHILE I WAS SLEEPING.”
This is exactly how I feel right now.
Last Thursday I travelled to Utah on SouthWest Airlines. This means I was part of the cattle call to find my own seat on a plane with a bunch of other livestock. I sat in row seven on the isle next to two people who, by the end of a two hour flight, would be my partners in...
Pig Jun 25, 2010
I know we just got started here but I think it’s time we maybe took it a bit slower, we’re moving way too fast. What? I’m talking about cooking weirdo. Do you like pig? I don’t but I cook it for my loved ones. I can only tell you when I make this it is greedily devoured over a couple of days…oh and complimented profusely. This requires a crock pot….do you have one? Does your neighbor? Grandma? Local goodwill? Don’t hate the crock, it is one of my very best friends and deserves a place in everyones kitchen. In fact I have two. So grab yourself a crock pot of decent size (not one of those little dip thing-a-majigs) and give this a shot.
2 pounds of boneless pork, you can use shoulder or loin, my boys prefer loin.
In a small bowl stir...
I might love mushrooms Jun 24, 2010
If you don’t like mushrooms look away now, I’m not going to be fucking around ONE BIT straight out of the gate here, there is NO sub for this recipe, don’t even ask, I’ll get pissed. I figure if you don’t like mushrooms then you are doing something wrong. Or maybe someone ruined them for you while using a can opener to crack open their idea of mushrooms….MUSHROOMS DO NOT BELONG IN CANS DO NOT USE THEM OUT OF SUCH.
Mushrooms should be firm, they should not be saggy and wrinkly, they should smell of clean earth not moldy earth. The tops should be gently washed, if you feel you must wash the underside do it quickly so they don’t absorb tap water. See? easy. Oh, and don’t pick them out of your yard unless you are some sort of experienced...
Beginners Guide To Gluten Free Jun 23, 2010
My good friend Laura wrote up a little “Beginner’s Guide To Going Gluten Free” with perfect timing. I’m officially going Gluten Free per my doctor’s request. She was almost giddy that I didn’t scream running out of the room. “Yea,” I said expecting this, “I have some Gluten Free friends. It’s not too scary.” I hesitated. “I think.”
She was ecstatic that I had some support. And I do.
So with that in mind, I’m jotting down all the resources from Laura’s Guide to get started. I have Ashley here to help as well. And of course, I have you, my amazing community of people who Know Shit. I swear every time I mention something twitter is all, “OH, YEA, DUH, WE TOTALLY DO THAT” and I’m...
Taking on Kelly Rippa Jun 23, 2010
#Life#Rants and Raves
I have a bone to pick, Kelly. I happen to get those amazing “be more” Electrolux Washer/Dryers you speak so highly of. No, I wasn’t actually trying to be just like you, GOD no, why would I want to do that? I know small dogs less annoying than you are. BUT, I did find an amazing deal on a pretty amazing washer/dryer set and after drooling and researching, decided to plunge in to debt for the sake of Laundry.
And oh, how it was worth it.
Except one thing:
My clothes don’t fly in to the closet or hang themselves like yours do.
WHAT IS UP WITH THAT KELLY RIPPA?
Next you’re going to tell me that advertising isn’t real. Whatever. I believe everything I see and *I* want my clothes to fly in to their places, Kelly. I deserve nothing...
Respect the sticker! Jun 21, 2010
#Life#The Flinger Family
My children, they do not respect the sticker. Remember getting the coveted sticker and agonizing over where to place it? You didn’t just put it on a piece of paper that might get accidentally tossed in the garbage. NO! You sat and pondered for HOURS where you were going to place this single, solitary sticker.
My kids can go through a sticker book in ten minutes flat.
Nowadays stickers are like Band-Aids: Cheap, easy to mail, and sticky; the latter being the most obvious. Band-Aids used to be special and only handed out when death was imminent. Now? Band-Aids for scrapes come in Sponge Bob Square Pants and decorate my kids’ knees like a trendy purse.
God I hate Sponge Bob and his annoying side-kick and his ability to make my children scream with enthusiasm until they get one...
Stealing Time: One Locked Bathroom Door At A Time Jun 21, 2010
I’ve been working on the revision of this site for a very, very, very long time. I grabbed an amazing illustrator and graphic artist from Design Tramp to illustrate me. With the patience of a fucking saint, he drew and re-drew and added pieces to my design elements.
Which I then took and hacked all to hell because I changed my mind.
So, without taking any credit for the elements on the page (seriously, HE IS AMAZING), I can say I hacked the psd to bits, added some elements, threw in some font-squirrel font-kits and TEXT SHADOWS OMNOMNOM.
“Don’t you wish your browser was smart like mine?”
< nerd >Cough. < / nerd>
Poke around but judge not. At six months past due, I finally said screw-it, threw up my hands, and unveiled this WITHOUT CHECKING FOR...
I can cook…that’s what I tell myself anyway Jun 15, 2010
Hi everyone, meet my good friend whom I’ve talked about before, Ashley. She’ll be posting her amazing recipes here to help me transition in to Gluten Free living. Everyone say “HI ASHLEY” together now. Don’t be shy.
Oh Hi there! Mrs. flinger invited me here to spew/smear/throw my kitchen all over you, you can call me Ashley. I don’t pretend to be some sort of gourmet, I do however enjoy all things food related and you know what, I feel like sharing. I used to have my own gig, some of you might remember me? Splendid Sustenance I got tired of it over there, it was a lot of work. So I’m here for now, less pressure and a great boss! There are a few things you might care to know about me, I’m the soul vegetarian in an omnivore house so I will add...
EECI Wrap up with Slides Jun 11, 2010
It was a quest of mine to have the new version (vs 9.11) of this website done before I posted my slides. My plan was to integrate HTML5, CSS3 and some Major (echo: MAJOR MAJOR) Cool (echo: COOL COOL) Scripts! (echo: SCRIPTS SCRIPTS).
Instead you just get my slides. Bah.
The intent of my talk was to focus on those people who administer the websites we build. So much of our time/energy is focused on the front-end development and user strategy but how often do we go through the same process on the back-end? Our administrators often want a site that’s easy to manage, easy to update and even easier to train other people on. We use ExpressionEngine for that very reason: It gives us a flexible tool to build a site around and an easy management area for our clients to take over. And while...