Seriously? As in ... Seriously? You’re kidding, right?

These are the first thoughts that ran through my head upon hearing about the Bumbo Seat Recall. I have a Bumbo Seat. We love the Bumbo Seat. Baby O sits up in his Bumbo Seat. It’s a blue, soft, squishy seat of wonderfulness.

Baby O give it a thumb up. Or down. He’s really not sure what those things are on the end of his hands yet…

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Here’s the thing. Apparently if you place a child on top of a table or other high surface and leave them THEY MIGHT FALL OFF.

Let me say that again.

If you leave a child on top of something high? THEY MIGHT FALL OFF.

Dude. That’s news? Shit. Really?

What’s next? BEDS?

(I can read it now… Mother leaves infant on bed. She leaves him unattended to have a beer in the bar downstairs. During this time the infant falls OFF the bed. Beds are now being recalled. Please proceed to turn in all mattress and bedding to your local government agency.)

Let’s address the issue here, shall we?

If you buy hot coffee? It will burn your crotch if you slosh it out of the cup. Do not sue McDonalds or Starbucks or whomever. All we end up with are really dumb warning on coffee cups. “Content is Hot” Fuckme. Yathink?

If you leave your child alone on top of a high surface (in a rocker? A bumbo? A Car seat?) he or she may fall off. It’s called gravity. Do not sue gravity.

If you give your child a small object to play with, they will eat it. Or put it up their nose. Or butt. Please do not sue the toy. Sue your child for causing you all that stress and gray hair.

Or! I know!

Use your common sense!

I’m a Mother For Using Common Knowledge EverywheRe

Join me in this movement, won’t you?

Together, we can make a difference.

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(And, for the record, I do set my child on the table. I just take pictures of him up there and make sure I’m totally drunk and stoned when I’m the only one home.)

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(And if you believe that, please come buy my pony.)

(Just don’t sue it when it shits in your yard.)

(THE END)

Comments

  • October 25, 2007

    Don’t even get me started on the safety warnings!

    Adorable pictures of the kiddos! smile

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  • October 25, 2007

    Totally hysterical. I’ve always been a Mother Effer. Always! Well, almost always.

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  • October 25, 2007

    I’ve never been so sad NOT to be a mother. “Woman F.U.C.K.E.R.” just doesn’t say the same thing, does it?

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  • October 25, 2007

    Hilarious post!  I totally agree - it reminds me of when the bath rings were recalled here because kids were being left alone in them and drowning.  Sheesh people - use a little common sense already.

    And my Bumbo came plastered with warnings all over it to not place it on an elevated surface (I guess me placing it on top of the gas stove wasn’t such a good idea then - kidding, kidding).  Is it still necessary to really recall it?

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  • bree
    October 25, 2007

    seriously? a recall for that?OH MY. People are idiots. Well then you know what? They need to recall highchairs because it so wasnt my fault I left my child in it unstrapped and he jumped out this morning. They make them too tall and the straps are too big anyway. DOH! Babytrend has a lawsuit on their hands now! ROTFL!

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  • October 25, 2007

    OK, people who are so stupid that they can’t use one of those things properly, should not be allowed to BREED.  Sorry, my communist side was showing.

    I hate the lawsuits bred from stupidity, and I even had people argue with me about my post way back when bitching about people who sue Burger King because they ate there a lot and got fat.  WTF?  For real?  You think people should win a lawsuit because they’re too stupid to shut their piehole?

    Anyway, awesome post and I wholeheartedly agree.  If these suckers had been been when I was birthin babies, I’d totally have stuck all four of mine in one.

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  • October 25, 2007

    My sisterinlaw has one of these that they use with their baby.  DUH the baby could fall, if they are on something other than the floor. 

    I will never understand, its like the curling iron that has a warning on it not to insert into any bodily orifice BECAUSE IT COULD RESULT IN BURNS.  The things is, you know someone had to have actually DONE THAT or they wouldn’t feel the need to post a notice saying NOT TO.

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  • October 25, 2007

    Very funny.

    The problem is that it has become so easy to sue a company, that people just want to make a quick buck.  Let’s just hope the use the money for that child’s college education…probably not.

    Love the pictures too!

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  • October 25, 2007

    My sentiments exactly. I was going to post about it over at my place. I may still, but I will definitely be stealing the button.

    Common Sense people. We heart our Bumbo too (which we use ON THE TABLE)! Ahhh…revoke my Mommy license.

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  • October 25, 2007

    PS. I’m digging Baby O’s stretched out toes in that second shot. Gideon still keeps his curled up.

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  • October 25, 2007

    did you know that if you have a recalled chair they will give you a sticker to put on your chair that says “dumb ass, don’t put on an elevated surface”?

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  • October 25, 2007

    Amen Sister!  And I also want to apologize for putting your baby on your island in the Bumbo yesterday.
    I am going to try to be a better Mother F.U.C.K.E.R. from now on!

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  • Pam
    October 25, 2007

    You are funny.

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  • Mrs.R
    October 25, 2007

    Dude, I felt the same way about these warnings. My baby managed to flip herself out of her Bumbo seat, which, thankfully, was on the floor, so no real harm done. I have a friend (who is smart with fancy degrees and everything) who regularly put her son in his Bumbo on high surfaces. Like a bench. Over concrete. Makes me cringe to think about it. So, um, apparently some people need their attention drawn to certain should-be-obvious safety issues.

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  • October 25, 2007

    I definitely needed this info.  Thank you.  I will no longer be an idiot.  smile

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  • October 25, 2007

    You know it’s one thing to put paint kids toys with lead paint (or to paint anything for that matter with lead paint), but seriously people.  I hate this litigious society we’ve become.  Everyone wants to blame someone else.  Can anyone take responsibility for themselves and their actions anymore??

    Sorry.  I’m totally with you.  I’ll get down off my soapbox now.

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  • October 25, 2007

    I want that graphic but I might get kicked off the Christian Women Online Blogroll!

    I ~heart~ you, Mrs. Flinger


    COULD HE BE ANY MORE ADORABLE?

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  • October 25, 2007

    yeah…and there is a warning also not to lift lawnmowers by the hands during operation.
    This looks like a great invention. Hope would have liked it too, particularly if I had put it on the counter top…
    What cute kids you have.

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  • October 25, 2007

    It really is just common sense, but I was totally surprised at just how early the whole arching the back move started.  We had to retire ours for that very reason. 

    That might just be the best acronym ever.

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  • October 25, 2007

    Next they’re going to start recalling the babies.

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