Find me on most of the social spaces as Mrs. Flinger
In an effort to launch something in a very short timeframe, after three months of coding in off hours for stints of a few minutes at a time, I used a framework to get *something* out. This is not code I would use for a client. Ever.
In fact, if you could see my face right now, you'd realize this is a little more than painful.
But, as sometimes has to happen with personal projects, the non-paying personal site takes a backseat to quality and gets dressed in handmedown code. Thanks to VMcore for the free ride here.
You have your good days and your bad ones. My kids all seemed to do ok for the most part (they were all 2 years apart, until the surprise baby a few months ago - 8 years is not a good gap). I had to be the bad guy and insist on the naptime - whether they slept or not, they had to be quiet for a while. Of course, they didn’t listen and the disciplining began. good luck!
Mine are 2 1/2 years apart and have always done pretty well. Although she did snatch the cap off his head the second we walked in after bringing him home from the hospital. He wailed. There has been a lot of that, but mostly they do just fine
Any time I try to separate them they act like they’re being tortured.
I had my son just before Christmas, so there were lots of new toys for those first few weeks for big sister. She actually didn’t show much interest in the new baby! She was almost potty-trained and that came to a screeching halt. We made sure she had lots of 1:1 time with both Mommy and Daddy. She thought any visitors were there to see her!
The BIGGEST change is that Baby #2 never really has any quiet with big brother/sister around (hence, we’re approaching month 6 of 3am and 5:50am feedings…my son’s only undivided attention time with me!)
When I brought Beau home, Drew wanted nothing to do with either of us for a good three weeks… he still has issues with his “annoying little brother”, but I know he loves him- and now that Beau is older, they’re starting to play together better…when they’re not fighting. It will be really interesting to see how baby #3 affects everything.
This is why I kept my oldest in daycare after we brought little sis home.
Mwaa haa haa haa.
But seriously? She was pretty good. But bossy. VERY bossy over her new baby sister.
These days they’re practically mud wrestling and hair pulling.
I may be different than you because I have an older boy, but he was vaguely interested in the baby when I nursed, changed diaper, she cried, etc., but not really any other time. I do remember how clingy and quiet he was those first few days (which led to the gush of tears I named “he’s not my baby anymore - I’ve taken his babyhood away!” (nevermind he was 4) ).
One thing that took me a while to realize was that when we were out, say at the grocery store, and someone would comment on the baby, he would start doing this silly jibberish talk and bouncing…he once even licked my hands! It suddenly dawned on me that he was jealous of her getting attention.
It’s very tricky, but things do begin to smooth out…eventually.
My daughter was 28 months old when my son was born. She, amazingly, didn’t have much trouble with it. The main things that came up a few times were that she was a TOTAL MOMMA’S GIRL and required me to do EVERYTHING for her. She was not open to her Daddy helping with some things as he had to do when I was consumed with the two-hour feeding alarm. She would have meltdowns because she wanted ME to dress her, put her to bed, etc. This happened only a few times.
There were also a few incidents of major meltdowns when she didn’t get her way—even if there was no direct connection to her new baby brother. This happened only a few times as well.
I mostly trumped up all the great privileges that come with being older as well as all the things she would be able to teach her brother. Also, I made a big deal out of how helpful she was and that I couldn’t have done it without her.
It was relatively seamless, but I had my days of wanting to set both of them on the curb with a “Free to Good Owner” sign, so I can relate!
Some days are better than others. Tonight Beaux was sent to time out for whacking Bella in the head. Then, she whacked him.
Its all good, but rarely easy.
Since I don’t have any children, I don’t have any words of wisdom. I hope things settle down soon for you all.
My oldest 2 are 18months apart. The day after my 2nd was born my husband brought our oldest to the hospital to see him, she tip-toed over to his cradle and slapped the shinola out of him. Then she started crying, and he was crying and I didn’t know who to grab first.
I guess that was it, after that she drove me nuts wanting to feed him, change him, etc…She was really good to him.
Best of Luck!
I have zero experience or advice in this regard, because I only have the ONE… but your comment about Ebay cracked me up because we threatened that (and putting her on the curb with the trash, and selling her to the gypsies) nearly every day for about 16 months!
Let the games begin… oy vey!
Please refer to the last three weeks of entries on my blog.
Ummmmmmm yeah.I’d type more but i’m typing with one hand right now… and fending off the whiny alien child.
You know our story which sounds a lot like the others. If I recall correctly, our hellion phase was at full throttle for the first four to six weeks and then things finally started to settle down. I recall feeling helpless once the husband went back to work, but in all reality, we managed and things subsided.
Everything is a transition at this point, for you, LB, Mr. Flinger and Baby O. Trying to find the balance is key and finding time with each person in your family for 1 on 1 time is also important.
Hang in there!
Flashback to — My first night home from the hospital after having my second:
Daughter, then 2, wailed, “Daddy hold the baby. Mama, hold meeeeee….”
Then she bent over the couch, buried her head in her chubby little arms and sobbed.
(So did I.)
She’s 4. He’s 2. They play. They fight. She bosses him around and he steals her toys and darts away, laughing.
Still I rather think they like each other.
It was difficult at first, juggling the needs of two. And then, slowly, it starts to feel normal.
Although some days I still wish I had four hands.
Expect more of it. Sorry. I wish there was a magic potion or velcro wall or toddler tranquilizer. Is LB at least gentle with O? Because my boy would fling/throw things at the baby, expecting him to play. Or pinch his arms/hands. Or try to lay on him. You get the idea. Took like a month before he started figuring out the whole gentle concept. He still doesn’t share his toys well, and his brother’s almost 13mo. But if we fake like we’re leaving the little one home alone and just going somewhere in the car with the big one, he gets all upset and needs the baby to come with us. It’s really sweet if you ignore the screaming.
I have a 3.5yo and a 13mo. So far not bad. Older DD has done as well as can be expected. What I get a lot of is ‘“remember when I was a tiny baby and I ....” It does not end. Every day! DH and I always tell her “remember when” is the lowest form of conversation - (a quote from the Sopranos) she don’t get the humor in it. She just gets a lot of extra cuddles after baby is put down at night.
Yikes. Brady won’t stop kissing Hope. We have to remind him she is just his sister!
On the other hand, he will push her over, hit her with toys, drag his feet over her when walking by, shake her highchair…it is a love-hate relationship.
I think it is important that you spend alone time with LB if you can. It makes a difference in Brady’s behaivor when he and I get time together that doesn’t involve Hope.
When Hope cries, Brady will let me know that I need to stop what I am doing and pick her up. he gets upset if I don’t drop it all to help her right away.
He also gets in her face when she is nursing. I have to remind him that she is eating dinner and that I need personal space as well. It is a bit uncomfortable to have him that close while nursing. Yeah, I nursed him but now that he is older and we are trying to teach modesty (he still likes to run around the house naked!)...anyway.
Good luck to you! It is nice to know we aren’t the only ones with sibling issues…
oh. my. god. It was horrible! They’re only 16 months apart..and husband left 5 days after the birth..so there I was..stuck. I’m still stuck, really. He throws books at him (still)..hits him..screams and cries over nothing..throws food everywhere and now no longer sleeps as much as he used to. And this has all been going on for nearly 4 months now. There are days when he’s the sweet little boy I used to know and totally hugs the baby and tries to feed him and all of that..but there are also days where I threaten to run away..and put him in bed for the night earlier than usual. For his protection.
It’s gotten a little better..but it also wasn’t SO long ago that I was crying all day everyday because are you kidding me? This is my life? And I have to do it all alone???
Hang in there..eventually LB will figure out O’s here to stay and she’ll warm up to him
I’m ages and ages behind on blogs, so I just today found out…and CONGRATS! Despite it being a rough ride, or so it seems, you have a gorgeous baby there! I wish I had advise on toddlers and babies, but Aislinn was almost 6 when Gabe was born, so the sibling rivalry is of a different kind.
Anyway, congratulations, a hundred times over! I’m so happy for you guys!
When we brought our thid child home from the hospital,my daughter started taking paper under our dining room table and would poop on it.
NO- I am not kidding. Yes, it IS documented in her baby book. teeehee.
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