Are we all bumbo bumbling idiots?

Seriously? As in ... Seriously? You’re kidding, right?

These are the first thoughts that ran through my head upon hearing about the Bumbo Seat Recall. I have a Bumbo Seat. We love the Bumbo Seat. Baby O sits up in his Bumbo Seat. It’s a blue, soft, squishy seat of wonderfulness.

Baby O give it a thumb up. Or down. He’s really not sure what those things are on the end of his hands yet…

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Here’s the thing. Apparently if you place a child on top of a table or other high surface and leave them THEY MIGHT FALL OFF.

Let me say that again.

If you leave a child on top of something high? THEY MIGHT FALL OFF.

Dude. That’s news? Shit. Really?

What’s next? BEDS?

(I can read it now… Mother leaves infant on bed. She leaves him unattended to have a beer in the bar downstairs. During this time the infant falls OFF the bed. Beds are now being recalled. Please proceed to turn in all mattress and bedding to your local government agency.)

Let’s address the issue here, shall we?

If you buy hot coffee? It will burn your crotch if you slosh it out of the cup. Do not sue McDonalds or Starbucks or whomever. All we end up with are really dumb warning on coffee cups. “Content is Hot” Fuckme. Yathink?

If you leave your child alone on top of a high surface (in a rocker? A bumbo? A Car seat?) he or she may fall off. It’s called gravity. Do not sue gravity.

If you give your child a small object to play with, they will eat it. Or put it up their nose. Or butt. Please do not sue the toy. Sue your child for causing you all that stress and gray hair.

Or! I know!

Use your common sense!

I’m a Mother For Using Common Knowledge EverywheRe

Join me in this movement, won’t you?

Together, we can make a difference.

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(And, for the record, I do set my child on the table. I just take pictures of him up there and make sure I’m totally drunk and stoned when I’m the only one home.)

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(And if you believe that, please come buy my pony.)

(Just don’t sue it when it shits in your yard.)

(THE END)