Are we all bumbo bumbling idiots?

Are we all bumbo bumbling idiots?

25/Oct/2007

#Life#Best Of#Getting to know me#Mother F.U.C.K.E.R.#Rants and Raves

Seriously? As in ... Seriously? You’re kidding, right?

These are the first thoughts that ran through my head upon hearing about the Bumbo Seat Recall. I have a Bumbo Seat. We love the Bumbo Seat. Baby O sits up in his Bumbo Seat. It’s a blue, soft, squishy seat of wonderfulness.

Baby O give it a thumb up. Or down. He’s really not sure what those things are on the end of his hands yet…

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Here’s the thing. Apparently if you place a child on top of a table or other high surface and leave them THEY MIGHT FALL OFF.

Let me say that again.

If you leave a child on top of something high? THEY MIGHT FALL OFF.

Dude. That’s news? Shit. Really?

What’s next? BEDS?

(I can read it now… Mother leaves infant on bed. She leaves him unattended to have a beer in the bar downstairs. During this time the infant falls OFF the bed. Beds are now being recalled. Please proceed to turn in all mattress and bedding to your local government agency.)

Let’s address the issue here, shall we?

If you buy hot coffee? It will burn your crotch if you slosh it out of the cup. Do not sue McDonalds or Starbucks or whomever. All we end up with are really dumb warning on coffee cups. “Content is Hot” Fuckme. Yathink?

If you leave your child alone on top of a high surface (in a rocker? A bumbo? A Car seat?) he or she may fall off. It’s called gravity. Do not sue gravity.

If you give your child a small object to play with, they will eat it. Or put it up their nose. Or butt. Please do not sue the toy. Sue your child for causing you all that stress and gray hair.

Or! I know!

Use your common sense!

I’m a Mother For Using Common Knowledge EverywheRe

Join me in this movement, won’t you?

Together, we can make a difference.

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(And, for the record, I do set my child on the table. I just take pictures of him up there and make sure I’m totally drunk and stoned when I’m the only one home.)

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(And if you believe that, please come buy my pony.)

(Just don’t sue it when it shits in your yard.)

(THE END)

Comments

  1. Don’t even get me started on the safety warnings!

    Adorable pictures of the kiddos! smile

    By Friglet on 2007 10 25

  2. Totally hysterical. I’ve always been a Mother Effer. Always! Well, almost always.

    By Keri on 2007 10 25

  3. I’ve never been so sad NOT to be a mother. “Woman F.U.C.K.E.R.” just doesn’t say the same thing, does it?

    By Leah on 2007 10 25

  4. Hilarious post!  I totally agree - it reminds me of when the bath rings were recalled here because kids were being left alone in them and drowning.  Sheesh people - use a little common sense already.

    And my Bumbo came plastered with warnings all over it to not place it on an elevated surface (I guess me placing it on top of the gas stove wasn’t such a good idea then - kidding, kidding).  Is it still necessary to really recall it?

    By andi on 2007 10 25

  5. seriously? a recall for that?OH MY. People are idiots. Well then you know what? They need to recall highchairs because it so wasnt my fault I left my child in it unstrapped and he jumped out this morning. They make them too tall and the straps are too big anyway. DOH! Babytrend has a lawsuit on their hands now! ROTFL!

    By bree on 2007 10 25

  6. OK, people who are so stupid that they can’t use one of those things properly, should not be allowed to BREED.  Sorry, my communist side was showing.

    I hate the lawsuits bred from stupidity, and I even had people argue with me about my post way back when bitching about people who sue Burger King because they ate there a lot and got fat.  WTF?  For real?  You think people should win a lawsuit because they’re too stupid to shut their piehole?

    Anyway, awesome post and I wholeheartedly agree.  If these suckers had been been when I was birthin babies, I’d totally have stuck all four of mine in one.

    By Sonia on 2007 10 25

  7. My sisterinlaw has one of these that they use with their baby.  DUH the baby could fall, if they are on something other than the floor. 

    I will never understand, its like the curling iron that has a warning on it not to insert into any bodily orifice BECAUSE IT COULD RESULT IN BURNS.  The things is, you know someone had to have actually DONE THAT or they wouldn’t feel the need to post a notice saying NOT TO.

    By Sleepingmommy on 2007 10 25

  8. Very funny.

    The problem is that it has become so easy to sue a company, that people just want to make a quick buck.  Let’s just hope the use the money for that child’s college education…probably not.

    Love the pictures too!

    By Coma Girl on 2007 10 25

  9. My sentiments exactly. I was going to post about it over at my place. I may still, but I will definitely be stealing the button.

    Common Sense people. We heart our Bumbo too (which we use ON THE TABLE)! Ahhh…revoke my Mommy license.

    By *pixie* on 2007 10 25

  10. PS. I’m digging Baby O’s stretched out toes in that second shot. Gideon still keeps his curled up.

    By *pixie* on 2007 10 25

  11. did you know that if you have a recalled chair they will give you a sticker to put on your chair that says “dumb ass, don’t put on an elevated surface”?

    By Dawn S. on 2007 10 25

  12. Amen Sister!  And I also want to apologize for putting your baby on your island in the Bumbo yesterday.
    I am going to try to be a better Mother F.U.C.K.E.R. from now on!

    By Young on 2007 10 25

  13. You are funny.

    By Pam on 2007 10 25

  14. Dude, I felt the same way about these warnings. My baby managed to flip herself out of her Bumbo seat, which, thankfully, was on the floor, so no real harm done. I have a friend (who is smart with fancy degrees and everything) who regularly put her son in his Bumbo on high surfaces. Like a bench. Over concrete. Makes me cringe to think about it. So, um, apparently some people need their attention drawn to certain should-be-obvious safety issues.

    By Mrs.R on 2007 10 25

  15. I definitely needed this info.  Thank you.  I will no longer be an idiot.  smile

    By Stephanie on 2007 10 25

  16. You know it’s one thing to put paint kids toys with lead paint (or to paint anything for that matter with lead paint), but seriously people.  I hate this litigious society we’ve become.  Everyone wants to blame someone else.  Can anyone take responsibility for themselves and their actions anymore??

    Sorry.  I’m totally with you.  I’ll get down off my soapbox now.

    By Mammaloves on 2007 10 25

  17. I want that graphic but I might get kicked off the Christian Women Online Blogroll!

    I ~heart~ you, Mrs. Flinger


    COULD HE BE ANY MORE ADORABLE?

    By Alli ~Mrs. Fussypants on 2007 10 25

  18. yeah…and there is a warning also not to lift lawnmowers by the hands during operation.
    This looks like a great invention. Hope would have liked it too, particularly if I had put it on the counter top…
    What cute kids you have.

    By hilary on 2007 10 25

  19. It really is just common sense, but I was totally surprised at just how early the whole arching the back move started.  We had to retire ours for that very reason. 

    That might just be the best acronym ever.

    By Andy on 2007 10 25

  20. Next they’re going to start recalling the babies.

    By loralee on 2007 10 25