Avatar + Rush Limbaugh = Me

04/Feb/2010

Small fact:

This is your brain.

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This is your brain completely consumed on the dream house you are still waiting to hear about while playing cat - n - mouse with the Dept. of Ed.

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(Your brain is the fleshy delicious goodness of pig fat in this scenario.)

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Update: If this goes much longer my pig fat will be grilled and buttered before I have the chance to pick out colors for the new living room.

The professional translation of that statement as told to me by my broker? “We’re getting closer.”

I hear: Your brain tastes great around green beans OMNOMNOM

*************** Now back to our story ************

We, like everyone else on the first-world-commercial-industrialized-planet (even, though questionable, the Vice President) saw Avatar a few weeks back. We loved it. LOVED IT. It was enough to make me want to chain myself to a tree. Almost seriously.

I’ve said this before, and I’ll say it again, I am switzerland. I am so mid-ground it’s dumb. To a conservative I’m a crazy lib. To a democrat I’m a tightass repubilcan.

In reality, I just sit back and laugh that HAHA You’re an Ass and You’re a huge mofo. Why, peeps, why the animals?

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If I had to pick an animal to be, I’d probably pick this hodgepodge:

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I think one can possess both strong views on each side of the fence. I think it’s possible to not run down party lines. I think it’s possible to listen to Rush Limbaugh because he reminds you of your dad and listening to him is a little like being home without the 4 hour flight and 300 dollar ticket while simultaneously believing it’s good to do what you can for the environment.

I call this LOGIC.

I’ve recently had the opportunity to review my beliefs. It’s nice to take time to re-evaluate where you are in your beliefs and how you’re prioritizing your life. It comes down to this:

My family.
My friends.
My work.

I know we sometimes get off-balance in our house. We’re a little “off” right now. But in general, even if we do not go to church (someone in the back! FAN MY MOTHER BEFORE SHE FAINTS) we still take to heart the family values and believe in building each other up. We spend quality time together. I work to provide healthy, clean, good meals. We give the kids love, consequences, structure and more love.

In general, I’m just not a fan of Big Brother. No matter what He looks like. Government, Taxes, Policies, or The Department Of Ed. In my experiences I’ve found the more layers of “stuff” there is before you can get to a decision maker, the harder it is to feel connected as a person, to have the power to make changes, and the confidence to stand up on your own two feet.

Which is why I’m a Rush Limbaugh avatar living in a tree feeling connected to the earth while yelling, “NO MORE TAXATION WITHOUT REPRESENTATION” and telling people to help each other but for the love of GOD if you can stand up and help DO IT or I will come spank you.

In a nutshell.

Hi

11 guests here now.

Comments

  1. LOVE LOVE this!  And you, obvs! smile

    By Christine McGee on 2010 02 04

  2. grin

    By Marie on 2010 02 04

  3. I, myself, was once called a complete fascist Nazi and a wishy-washy, bleeding-heart liberal in the same day.

    But probably because I am NOT Switzerland about most things and my own views don’t always go harmoniously together.  Not like bacon and beans.  Or bacon and almost anything.

    By CitricSugar on 2010 02 04

  4. This was totally me FOR YEARS.

    But I am swimming in such a conservative pool, I needed to go the other direction.

    P.S. I wake up to Limbaugh most mornings of my life from my husband’s computer. It give me FREAKY ASS dreams.

    By Loralee on 2010 02 04

  5. umm… wow. You took the words right out of my mind? I often refer to myself as a “crunchy republican?” haha.

    By Shari on 2010 02 05

  6. Love this! I often feel like an oddity in the blogisphere. It seems like you either have your Praise Jesus conservatives or the Gorebot rich-people-are-evil liberals. And I am neither of those. Glad to hear I’m not alone!

    By Carabee on 2010 02 06

  7. GAWD I love you.

    By VDog on 2010 02 07

  8. I was totally paying attention and then…BACON!

    By patois on 2010 02 08

  9. I came here with fingers crossed and breath held and I can’t believe you still don’t have an outcome. Glad your sense of humor remains intact. I’d still remove all the knives from the house.

    Wishing you a positive outcome SOON.

    By the wino on 2010 02 08