Geeky Talks
Being a mother changes you
There are a few standard Saturday Morning experiences Mr. Flinger and I tend to dwell on: “Remember when we didn’t wake up at 6am on a weekend?” “Remember when we used to go out on Friday nights?” “Remember spending money on ourselves?” “Did we used to go hiking on the weekends?” “Didn’t we use to have sex /go to dinner / see a movie / shower every weekend?”
Then we usually laugh, “Buhahaha. No, I don’t remember.”
Perspective changes as often as the months of each year. Very few experiences in life truly and profoundly have the impact to change the steadfast ways of your rutted thoughts. Some days come in and out of memory blurred with every other and change is slow and gradual while other days grab you like the baby fist reaching up from your arms.
Reading through Jessica’s account of her flashback, reminded me of something I’ve become a little more aware of lately. I am a mother. I know this should’ve hit me three and a half years ago, with the birth of my first child. I know this should’ve occured to me before her first birthday, before my second and third pregnancy, before the birth of Baby O. But it’s something that occurs to me in bits and pieces. It occurs most to me when I read of tragedy and realize I immediately flock in my mind to protect my children. I identify more with the parents. I picture their loss. I picture my own life without my children and I crumble from a depth of myself that did not exist until I had them.
Perspective shifts through life, it’s true. From knees at eye level to empathy for strangers. From crib bars to the open road. From teenage self perception to forgetting to eat after caring for your children all day.
Now when I go work for a day at the local coffee shop, I pause and take in my atmosphere a little more deeply. The children, their mothers, the bustle, the families. That I’m not alone in my harried constant being. That it’s not just my family wondering what happened to sleeping in, to weekly date nights, to self preservation.
Instead, I take in the world just a little bit more like my children do now. From their perspective. And it’s a powerful shift that I hope never fades.
Mar, 01, 2008 Filed in: Write •Getting to know me •The Flinger Family •Baby O •Parenting Siblings •Mrs. Flinger Said So • Read the Archives 
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It keeps hitting me unexpectedly that I’m a mom - 10 years later. The wonders never cease!
Great post!
Blog Hoppin’,
Balancing Hops
Sweet picture & post, Leslie!
I’ve been having similar thoughts… today was my due date 4 years ago! Time to go through the old pics…
It’s true. I think I try to experience the moments of life more than I did when it was just me.
It hit me this am…Caity had curled up beside me in bed. I said I love you to her. She said it back.
Then the alieness of it hit me…that there was this little person…this little person who I made laying there. Someone who loves me and depends on me.
It was a strange feeling.
I try to remember that feeling the urge to flee from the madness and screaming.
4 1/2 years in and there are still days where the fact that I’m a mom comes slamming into me at warp speed. Whether you join WW or not, you so need to post those pics!! Twinners indeed!! She does so want a sister, but she’s up a creek there unless she adopts one on her own.
I’d love to see your pics!! I feel so honored that you commented! I’ve been lurking and sporadically commenting here for months and I’m so thrilled that you’ve reciprocated!! That picture is precious. I love the cropping, the angle and that face… oh my word!
I totally could have written this post. (Except the fact that I’m a dad, but you know what I mean.)
My identity as a father has become more and more ingrained and my confidence at what I do and who I am has risen along with it.
Nice post.
Nice! Very sincere and I feel the same! Coffee shoP! how fun! Do you get sick of drinking coffee though?
I could say a lot of words in response to this one, but I think I’ll sum it up with one word:
“Yeah.”
I know that people who only have pets consider them thier children, and that’s fine, but I don’t think one truly experiences the full range of emitions and empathy until they have a child. I never really understood fear, worry, empathy, or true joy until I had those little hipriders.. I would never trade it for the world, but I wouldn’t mind an occasional swap for a morning that doesn’t start at 5:30 once in a while.
Jen R
It’s not nice to make your readers blow snot - especially, before their second cup of coffee - and me sitting here with a head cold and everything.
Being a mom changes more than just you. It changes other kids in the house. Husbands. Priorities. Showers. Even which friends you have. Somehow being a new mom can change your whole world so fast it will make your head spin. But there is nothing else on earth that I could ever love more than my girls!