Geeky Talks
boobie mail
Internet? I just sent my first boobie mail. I’m giggling like a naughty school girl. I’m peering around the corner like I’m going to get caught. I’m glancing over my shoulder to see if anyone noticed. Then? I log on and tell the Internet about it.
Because that’s what I do.
See, I’m giddy because both kids? Right now? Are asleep in one room. THEIR room. The KID ROOM. Do you know what this means to me? Do you know how many months I’ve been waiting for this? Except for the one exception: It’s a little like my preemie going off to college. Sleeping alone. In his own room. Across the hall. My god. He’s growing up so fast.
On the other hand, when I described our sleeping situation to some friends last night I realized, about two minutes in to the conversation, it’s shitty. Just. Plain. Shitty. Mr. Flinger and I have been trading who gets the love seat each night while the other blissfully rests on the long couch. Yes, that’s right, we’ve been sleeping in the living room. We’ve been setting our phone alarms. We’ve been going to bed two hours too late and getting up at 4AM every day with the smallest one. Then, just as the Boy Child goes down at 6:30, the Girl Child walks in, bleary eyed and awake saying, “Will you get me some breakfast please?”
It’s been hell.
So today I prepped both children for the move. “Look,” I said, “my marriage isn’t based around you kids. My marriage is a good one with lots of spice and romance and snuggles. It’s just that once you kids got here? It all went to pot. And I’m effing tired of it.” Kids look up at me with innocent eyes thinking, “We did this? What did we do?” “No, no,” I continue, “It’s not your fault, per-say, It’s just that I’m thirty two and you are, together, less than four years old. I out weigh you both by two olympic gymnasts. I. Win.”
Then I ran the hell out of them and wore them down until they cried Uncle and wanted to go to bed.
And then? They did. Together. An hour ago. And it’s been quiet ever since.
I realize how I am now completely shooting myself in the foot. I know Karma, the bitch, will come to bite me. I know there will be screaming, crying, cussing (me). But for now, I just wanted to tell the Internet that I was so excited, so effing proud of this one tiny thing, this one tiny taking back of my life, that I took a boobie picture and sent it to my husband.
And I’m damn proud of it.
(Now is a great time to tell me you’ve sent boobie mail and that I’m not the godawful whore that I think I am. Plus? It’s fun. So even if I am a godawful whore, at least I’m whoring out to my husband, lucky bastard.)
(And no, there will not be a picture HERE. Jeeze, Internet. You make me blush.)
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Hooray for sleeping babies!
I hope they sleep ALL NIGHT for you
Hope there’s some bow chanka bow bow happening RIGHT NOW. oooooh yeah.
Ahahaha! The Boobie Picture.
Yes, mam. With a Road Warrior husband, and a camera phone with unlimited text messages? I have sent many a Boobie Picture.
But I am kind of slutty. So there’s that.
Congrats on the kiddos sleepin’ sitcheashun!
PS: Had me some nog last night and though of YOU.
As the voice of the religious right-
“Ye Married Flingers Enjoy Ye Marital Bow-Chica-Wow-Wow With Ye Reckless Abandon!”
Allow me one quick tip about kiddos sharing a room- Get a white noise machine that is louder than a jet engine! Put it in their room so they don’t wake eachother up all night/early in the morning/ etc….
Now, back to ye bow-wow….
Are you sure you sent your boobie picture to the right person???
I think Jon got it as well….?
Yahoo for the two sleepers! Much more of it will be in store for you, hopefully!
Chicka Chicka bow wow…aren’t we all a little slutty? Hell… I think the boys like it somewhat!
Don’t forget to grease up the doorknob or get those door knob cover thingamajigs. Man, I envy you. Our 17 mo old is still in our room cuz the FIL is in the boy’s room. I can not wait till he moves out! I’m soon going to threaten him with the future of any more grandchildren! Have a shag for me while you’re at it. How sad is it that I’m happy for someone else to get laid.
Yah, the boobie photo is all fun and games UNTIL YOU SEND IT TO EVERY DAMN PERSON IN YOUR ADDRESS BOOK.
INCLUDING THE PRINCIPAL OF YOUR KIDS SCHOOL AND THE REST OF YOUR PTA BOARD.
If you are, ya know, a TOTAL MORON and this happens to you? Send off a frantic email (Or better, call) saying that the attachment you sent contained a vicious, horrible virus and that if they open it their entire hard drive will explode.
Sigh.
Tee hee! Boobie mail! Never sent one, but I can’t say it doesn’t “titillate” me (Ooooo, BAD pun).
Both kids in one room might solve a lot of your problems. They will have each other to talk to, laugh with, plot against their parents…
Here’s hoping you get MANY MANY well-deserved nights of great slumber (and/or sex) with your new arrangement!
The boobie picture. Classic, Flinger, classic! Never done that, but can’t say that I won’t ever!
Kids? sleep? In their own room? Heeeeelll no! Wow. I’m impressed.
Now I’m intrigued by the sleeping arrangements in your house - just bc I like knowing my house isn’t the only one….
Have sent boobie picmessages. From work.
and from the back porch. And from business trips.
I should probably stop now. [blush]
I’m still too close to post-partum for any really good boobie pictures, but I totally hear you on the sleeping arrangements. The last two nights we’ve been forcing our 2-year-old to sleep in Her Room. You’d think we were exiling her to hard labor in Siberia, the way she screams… But having our bed to ourselves, with just the bassinet in our room? Wow, is it worth it. Even if it’s just for sleeping.
I’ve always WANTED to send one, but I’ve always been too afraid. I know that invariably, as soon as I send something private, he will open the email in a room full of people… How do I know this? Because that’s just my luck. I’m the one that calls my hubby, talks to him seductively, then later finds out I was on speaker phone… And when I say later, I mean HOURS later.
LMAO… I love how you think, girl!
Girl you are a rock star! I’ve uh . . .sent some . . .er boobie texts on Tuesday of this very week, too. . .tres exciting! Hope it worked out for you:)
Wait is “O” sleeping through the night now…ooh I am so jealous we have been having wonderful dreams of the night our boy sleeps in the same room as our girl but no he is still sleeping in our closet we still get to hear his every move and he is friggen 8 1/2 months old…grrr. But I am very happy for you!!! Really I am! It is now time for a little much deserved Bow-Chica-Wow-Wow!!
I’ve never sent boobie mail…Hmm. good luck with the sleeping all night thing. Let me know how that works for you. We are 11 months and counting and not a night past 4 am….
LMAO! You’re a boobie pic virgin (or was!)
Yep - sent a few, cleavage ones while I am on the phone with him are usually the best
Dude - congrats on sleeping. If I can just convince Ry to stay in bed now, our life would be dandy.
You totally just inspired me to send my hubby a belated Boobie Birthday E-mail Pic!
Wow! David and I have only gone as far as emailing each other from across the living room. I think it started out something like him saying, “What are you wearing?”...or was it, “What’s for dinner?” I’m not really sure!
*giggle*
Enjoy your kid-free nights!
It’s been way too long since I sent boobie mail/video(!). Thanks for reminding me to get back on that horse!
MRS. FLINGER! You little minx!
I love that y’all are out there sending boobie mail now. I love it! Maybe this can be a new movement? Because honestly? Who’s going to fight wars and steal things or mame things with boobie mail from their spouces/girlfriends coming in on the phone? “Sorry, gotta keep this whole war thing short. Wife just sent pictures of her hot boobs and I need to get back home…”
My new tagline: “Inspiring women to send boobie mail since three days ago.”
Snort.
Alex tagged your kids for a meme
I will keep my fingers crossed that karma isn’t a bitch to you.
Total boobie mail sender right here!
Wild girl!
wouldn’t it suck for that to be the time you send to the wrong person…*blush*...done it
wouldn’t it suck for that to be the time you send to the wrong person…*blush*...done it