Devestating Truthfulness

Devestating Truthfulness

19/Oct/2005

#Depth and Faith

So, look, I may be wildly unpopular here but I’m going to be honest. I visited an old friend while in Texas. She’s thirty five, has a two year old, and has been trying for number two for 13 months. Another friend of ours from Texas is 36, had a miscarriage, and decided not to have another. A co-workers wife had four miscarriages in one year and finally decided to not try again when their first born was seven. I know some bloggy friends who tried and tried and for whatever reason, babies didn’t come to be.

Honestly? I’m terrified.

Comments

  1. Are you sure you aren’t talking about how WE conceived our youngest….it’s eerily similar!

    By candice on 2005 10 19

  2. poor planning - yeah I am good at that.

    Well you know how I feel with having B at 17. But we made something of our life and hell even got way farther then we ever planned at this stage in our life. 

    I think everyone takes for granted what they have. G’s cousin has been trying for 6 yrs to have a baby to no luck yet. They are the same age and have nicer things, go on cruise, MOVED by us to a nicer house, new cabin on the lake, etc. and its irks us a little.

    But then we remember that they would give EVERYTHING up to have 1 child of their own. That they could spend $1000 on daycare a month rather then go on that cruise. That my dear puts it all in to perspective.

    And the whole sister thing who is angry and bitter?? I got 2 + parents. I am not the one who chose my career to be at wal-mart or a FT student for the rest of my life. I am the one who is the bad guy because I make / have more then them. We all choose our path in life and I just ran a little faster down the right one!

    By Nicole on 2005 10 19

  3. I too, am scared to death of having a miscarriage. (so much so that when I was preg with Ben in the very beginning, I just figured it would happen and was surprised when it didn’t)

    But then, if I think about all the things that could possibly happen to him now that he’s OUT, that’s scary as heck too… gah.

    By Erin on 2005 10 19

  4. I sooooo understand what your saying.  It was so easy with J.  I am also scared to death that when we decide it’s time for number 2 something terrible is going to happen and I won’t get pregnant again! 
    I think we all thikn about the what if’s!

    By brandi on 2005 10 19

  5. once again, your sister and my sister must be the same person.

    sigh.

    shit happens. and so does the aivan flu. try to look at the big picture as often as you can so that you can fully appreciate all the little pictures within it.

    Bottom line: it’s going to be okay, whatever happens.

    By texasbelle on 2005 10 19

  6. Mr. Belle and I were talking today about how much we have been blessed recently and he mae the comment that he is kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop.  I had to agree.  It seems like we “struggled” (in minor ways, I know, compared to others) for so long that now that we are doing well, SOMETHING must come along and knock the wind out of our sails.  So, I am living in the moment and trying very hard not to worry!

    By RB on 2005 10 19

  7. I think you’re totally normal.  Of course, this is coming from ME who plans everything…so you’re preaching to the choir!  I guess that’s why we’re friends!  I think it’s normal to have plans.  And what you’re calling plans, others would call goals.  And goals are what get our asses out of bed every day!  So go ahead and make those plans!  Just make sure that your plans are flexible enough to have ups and downs and make room for minor adjustments.  You said yourself that LB wasn’t planned per say…and look at what an amazing sidetrack she is!

    By Paige (CoraBelle) on 2005 10 19

  8. Kind of what paige said- It’s okay to plan to some extent, that is being more responsible and a good steward than not planning.  At the same time, you have to balance that with His will for your life.  Not that that is easy, but I think if you just trust Him with your plans, it all works out to the best.  (Even if it doesn’t work out according to plan.)

    The only advice I have in regards for #2, is to be patient!  Don’t expect it right away.  (Then if it is you’ll be pleasantly surprised.)  I thought #2 would come along as soon as we tried, but it took 6 months.  Which I guess is normal, but at the time it seemed like it took forever.

    By Holly on 2005 10 19

  9. Leslie, don’t worry so much:0) Don’t think that you won’t be able to have another child. Theres no use in worrying. Think positive. Theres no reason to believe that your not going to have your dream come true. Btw, no ones going to scorch your plans. I had a miscarriage when Gianna was 6 months and I never thought I would be able to handle one. But I got through it. We don’t use birth control and I haven’t gotten pregnant yet but we really weren’t trying. Now that We are going to try, like tonight wink, I have faith that when it’s supposed to happen it will. Theres a perfect plan made just for you. I have those dreams too. I was actually just talking about them. I can’t wait til I have all four of my kids home for Christmas in our big white house with 5 bedrooms. Just don’t stress over it. You hear stories of people that try and try to concieve. They go through in vitro, adopt then finally when they come home with their adopted baby they are blessed again by another baby, but this time it’s their own. Both are equally as special. Enough rambling from me! XOXO Hugs & kisses to you Les! Like Anne said, either way, everything will be ok:0) This I know:)

    By Kelli Piccirilli on 2005 10 20

  10. A second child is something I’ve started thinking about and worrying about.  My husband had a new job lined up that would have allowed me to stay home with my daughter and a baby and that all fell through in the last few weeks.  It’s hard when people ask when we’re going to have another one because I’m such a planner and don’t know what’s ahead. I was asked twice today! I fear a miscarriage too and have a friend doing the invitro/adoption route and one who had multiple miscarriages and proceeded to have a normal baby despite some bad odds that I don’t think I could have faced.
    It’s that “fate and suckage and life” you mentioned that helps shape who we are and how we approach our lives.  And I think sharing in the strengths and weaknesses of others affects how we handle things.
    It’s all summed up in that quote: Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans!

    By Amy_M on 2005 10 20

  11. I agree with the others, especially Mama C-ta who said God only gives you what you can handle. I firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. You might never know the reason, but it does. However, I too am always waiting for the other shoe to drop and continually remind myself to stop doing that. I LOVE my life. I am grateful for what I have. When I get down, I try to remember that.
    What ever will be, will be (even if it sucks sometimes.)

    By speechjane on 2005 10 21

  12. It will happen and when it does it will be the right time, it usually seems to work that way.  We didn’t plan either of ours and they are exactly 5 years apart.  I love them more than anything and can’t imagine life without them.  It was totally the right timing for me.  Just be patient, GOOD things take time.

    By kbkb on 2005 10 27