You know those dreams that are so real you remember them, feeling the aftermath, for hours/days after? Lately my sub-conscious has run amok with tails or the President (elect), a forced marriage and really hot men hitting on me.

See? Dreams.

Most of the time I don’t analyze my dreams because it’s almost always a combination of some spicy casserole + alcohol + being woken up at some-strange-hour by a screaming kid. Perfect recipe for delicious sub-conscious meals.  But today’s dream was both wonderful and disturbing. You’ll help me analyze it, won’t you?

:: lays on couch ala Therapy style ::

So I’m visiting an old old friend, I don’t even recognize where we are except somewhere in Houston, back in our old neighborhood, in a school or church or library. We’ve been given tasks, I can’t really explain what they are, exactly, aside form some sort of research. We’re dismissed to research and I slam, face first in to the chest of a very attractive man.

“Excuse me” I mutter catching my breath.

He says nothing but nods out of the way.

I continue on to find my book and scribble something furiously before the timer goes off and we’re forced to gather again in the main room.

The bell rings and everyone races to find a seat in the common room. Everyone, that is, except the handsome man. He’s standing, slyly in the back of the room watching all of us act like bees.

Sitting, and exhausted, I close my eyes for a moment when the head person sits and starts explaining what comes up next. It’s a teacher? A Pastor? I’m not sure but the voice is soft and soothing. I feel like I’m falling asleep until something calls me back. It’s Him. He’s standing in front of me and the touch of his finger on my arm makes me unable to breath. “Since you fell asleep during my instruction,” he says softly, “You may make it up to me by taking me to dinner.”

I forget how to breath.

He says as much.

I wake up.

I’d like to tell you that this man was my husband, but he wasn’t. He was a cross between Denny (Grey’s Anatomy Much?) and Edward (Twighlight Anyone?)

I’m pretty sure I’m so unoriginal that my dream is exactly that… dreams other people had, wrote about, showed on TV, and I’m re-incarnating it to my own fantasies.

As I type this a man, not my Denny/Edward mix comes up to me and starts hitting on me. No, I’m not shitting you. If I was shitting you I’d have made him handsome.

He’s not, really. Not in a traditional “good looking” way but in a “I’m pretty smoozy and that’s kinda gross” way. So, well, no, not at all. But he’s always been nice when I ordered my coffee and he’s so pleasant when I order non-fat and he says, “YOU don’t need non-fat” and I laugh and he hands me my coffee and says, “Have a nice day.”

So I smiled at him and said nice things but then glanced at this paper because Um.. I’m married.. and ... well… I don’t want you to spit in my coffee so let me reject you nicely…

You’re no Edward. Or Denny. Or Mr. Flinger.

Sorry this took some weird turns. Seriously, um, wasn’t expecting to be hit on today. However, I AM expecting to get out of breath watching TWIGHLIGHT tonight so THAT is something.

Also, I don’t know why I’d dream about hot men. This is my family. They’re perfect. Complete with nut grabs and crazy Dad in the background.