Eternal Optimist

Jun 02, 2009

#Side Notes

I guess one of the great things about being a touch of depressed is that you get to take anti-depressants.

And taking anti-depressants makes you a touch of Pollyanna.

Especially when you still get a touch overwhelmed and drink Vodka at night.

And that can be pretty great because you’re funny.

Even if your kid keeps getting Croup.

But hey! Croup means going to the Pediatrician!

Who is hot.

So you have to shave your legs which is kind of nice because you feel a little more sexy.

Or you might go swimming.

Which helps you lose weight.

So really? Being a little depressed sorta kinda helps you lose weight in the long run.

Who’s in?


  1. I love how this reads like “If you give a mouse a cookie.”

    “If you give a girl a Prozac…”

    Have I mentioned you’re fabulous?  You’re fabulous. smile

    By Jen on 2009 06 02

  2. Ha ha!  Can’t wait to see the illustrations with this book! (sorry the little one is sick though)

    By Marie on 2009 06 02

  3. That. was.  HIGH-larious.

    Except that, for me, I was a touch anxious.  So I took an anti-depressant, and it made me fat.

    So I guess our two experiences together prove Newton’s Third Law of Motion, “To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

    Anxiety + meds = fat
    Depressed + meds = skinny

    By Christine on 2009 06 02

  4. So, my depression should totally help me lose weight?  Oh, wait, you said if you go to the HOT pediatrician.  Well shit,  I don’t have kids, maybe I should work on that.

    LMAO at this post.  Thanks.

    By Amazing Greis on 2009 06 02

  5. It sounds like sound logic to me!

    By Miss Grace on 2009 06 02

  6. This sounds much like If You Give “A Mouse….”

    So incredibly funny.

    By Oma Flinger on 2009 06 02

  7. Hm. Are you sharing? Also - perhaps you could start an e-commerce section of the site in your spare time and sell the little black dresses above, and your extra meds? Just a thought.

    By syd on 2009 06 02

  8. *snort*
    Great post. :D

    By Al_Pal on 2009 06 03

  9. I’m right there with you sister.

    That means we’ll look good on the dance floor, right?

    By Maria on 2009 06 03

  10. I am so jealous our Pediatrician is a gomer that foams at the corners of his mouth :( the kiddos luv him though

    By Cory on 2009 06 03

  11. Hey, speak for yourself lovie. I weigh eighty or so pounds more than I did pre-medication. ;oP

    By Anji on 2009 06 03

  12. Haha!! I would say count me in, but I’m already on anti-anxiety medication, occasionally mixed with a touch of vodka!

    I always heard that depression makes you fat and anxiety makes you skinny. But, I guess that’s not always the case, huh? I’m overly anxious and very hyper and have never been what I would call skinny…

    My youngest is too old now to go to a pediatrician, but how lucky for you that you have a hot one!! Makes having a sick kid a little less painful?

    I have a hot doctor that makes it a whole lot less painful to get needles stuck around your eyes. I wish I could afford more routine botox injections!

    By LilSis on 2009 06 03

  13. I see no problems with this plan—especially if your vodka keeps you away from my wine!

    By TexasRed on 2009 06 03

  14. This post?  Perfect!

    By Rachael on 2009 06 03

  15. Um, I totally think I am on the WRONG anti-depressant.  Just sayin.’  And my pediatrician?  Is an FNP who is female and 60 ish years old.  She is also one of my best friends, so thank you lord I don’t ever feel the need to shave my legs to see her.  Whew!

    By Kori on 2009 06 04

  16. I totally follow the logic in all of this so I think I’m automatically in. Oh and my ped. is totally hot too!

    By Jen on 2009 06 04

  17. Huh, I follow the same logic, but it’s not quite working for me. Maybe ‘cause I’m missing the vodka?

    By Clair on 2009 06 04

  18. SPEAK FOR YOURSELF WOMAN! I’ve been down for a WHILE now. I’m sure people have gotten used to me down here. Grass is growing around me, people walk their dogs over me…...and the THREE that I tried to take, I was allergic to!?! Now my doctor won’t try anymore…so i’m still laying here.

    By sister flinger on 2009 06 04

  19. For some reason it doesn’t work that way for me.  The vodka makes things way worse, which really sucks.

    By Jenn Scholz Hughes on 2009 06 07

  20. Sure!

    By Wacky Mommy on 2009 06 08