I wonder how long you people will have to tell me “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” because I think I don’t believe you. I think it’s new news every time I pee on a stick, get an ultrasound, hear the heartbeat. It’s like I don’t remember that I keep puking in between appointments or gaining weight or crying at the Deli counter in Safeway.
Will you still congratulate me at my 20 week ultrasound when I am in complete shock that a whole person is actually in MY BODY and then again when I realize this entire person has to COME OUT OF MY BODY? Thanks. You are the best.
(Seriously, it’s like I haven’t done this before. Mommy-brain is so much worse than I ever knew.)
Perhaps the only other person who suffers from Mommy brain worse than I do is Mr. Flinger. We are already having of the exact same debates we had just over two years ago. “I have seven more months to go,” I complained last night. “No you don’t, you have less than six months. You’re already three months pregnant, right?” “YES, but Mr. Smart Math Man, you’re pregnant for 40 weeks. Divide that by 4 weeks a month and Viola! Ten months of pregnancy! Of course, two of those are ‘free’ so really you gestate for nine and a half months. Which is why I have six and a half more months to go. Dumbass.” (There is often an implied dumbass at the end of my sentences but sometimes I vocally throw it in.) “No, you’re more than a quarter of the way there, twleve weeks. three months. Six more to go.” “Hi. My due date is June 13th. It’s not even December yet.”
Then we launched in to the great “you’re in the thirteenth week” versus “you are twelve weeks pregnant” debate.
This is what happens when we can’t leave the house because of ice and snow. I used to think I wanted to live in Alaska, like in Northern Exposure, and be a Bush Pilot just like Maggie (seriously, I thought that, it’s sad and I know it). Now I’m fairly sure I’d go completely insane and probably forget things worse than math, like how to pee in a toilet or.. gasp.. how to use the Internet.
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Comments
You make me laugh!!!
I think they say nine months just to make people feel better, since it seems forever! At least it isn’t years, like some animals… isn’t it the elephant that is pregnant for like 2 and a half years? OH MY.
You make me laugh, too!
Alright!!!! you have it better than I do. Dh has been through two pg’s with me and I KNOW he couldn’t tell you how many weeks there are in a pregnancy. Could be why he didn’t give a crap when I went to 42 weeks with both girls.
I am with Holly, the “9 month” pregnancy term is a pipe dream meant to make you hate the last 4 weeks. (At least for me it was that way.) I think that Mr. Jelly Belly and I would continue to have the 9 vs. 10 month debate regardless of how many babies we would have.
No no. What’s sad is when you have the exact same conversation with YOURSELF! I usually have to go to my blog to finally show myself that yes, I’m XX weeks pregnant (usually followed by “OH MY GOD! I’m XXX weeks pregnant?!?! I can’t be! No way!”)
Anne
When I was little, I always heard 10 months pregnancy, 10 months pregnancy…. but here only takes 9 or 9.5. umm.. why is that? ‘cause different part of the earth?
Ok, I know I shouldn’t comment on posts that are related to pregnancy.
Anyways, you said.. “Mr. Smart Math Man”. It made me laugh.
Then you FINALLY get to the last week or so, and time starts craaawwwllling by. My OB said NEXT WEEK - I should have gotten a guarantee in writing!
I think mommy-brain is seriously a protective mechanism. Would I really be excited about delivering soon if I remembered clearly about the 3rd degree tear, extra-super maxi pads, and infected breasts?!?
I think its bc you wanted this so badly that your having a hard time really believing that its actually happening.
I’ll tell you congrats every week if you want
Congrats!
The numbering is quite confusing. I just had to explain to a student that the fact that her sister claimed to be “1 week pregnant” needed some clarification.
But, seriously, congratulations again and, BTW, you-are-growing-a-baby. Really.
i’m not sure i am humanly capable of not congratulating you. So hey, Congratulations
!
Well, I for one I have yet to wish you congratulations!, so here I am, wishing you congratulations! : ) Awesome news.
Hee hee hee…yes, the 9months vs. 40 weeks thing is a little difficult to explain, and not just to hubbys….
Oh, and congratulations!
Wow, Northern Exposure. There is a blast from the past. One of the last network TV series’ that I could actually stand to watch regularly.
Oh, congratulations Dumbass.
Congratulations!
I can’t like snow and ice. I’m a grumpy miserable person in winter. <G>
I think the “9 months” thing is used to lure you into thinking it isn’t that long. Ten months is too close to one year
Maria
P.S. I will still congratulate you at 39 and 40 weeks because I know if I were ever able to have a baby each week I would say “Yeah! P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T!”
Um, yeah, yet another way you can tell you’re pregnant is when you sit down to read M.F.‘s latest post and while doing so devour the last fifth of a grande bag of cheese tortilla chips (I wish they were Doritos). And that was just the beginning of my foraging in the cupboards for lunch.
My husband also has pregnancy brain as in I had to literally tell him five times on five seperate occasions why I needed to have my car Tuesday so I could take the baby to his wellness check-up.
As for Mommy Brain, the only way I seem to be able to express a lucid thought lately is by blogging. Sheesh.
Ahh, Maggie- you’d make a great Maggie.
Congratulations! (just throwing it out there)
It really is 9 months. A month is not 4 weeks. A month is not 28 days. Those extra 3 or 4 days every month add up and eat up that 10th “month”. It gets divided among the other 9 months.
I hope I’m explaining this clearly. A pregnant woman trying to talk math to another pregnant woman is a recipe for disaster.
It doesn’t matter because time slows down in the 3rd trimester anyway, and that feels like about 8 months, so it all adds up somehow. Or something. I have a headache now.
Um, congratulations!
Congratulations!! For the first time..from me. I absolutely hate cold weather. I wish humans were like bears and we just hibernated through winter.
Everyone knows how during your second pregnancy you’re not supposed to remember how far along you are.
Also, really, birth the second time was much better. I think it is because you know that the old cooch does go back to normal size.
In response to Emily’s…I wish women were bears (aren’t we though) and could hibernate through the first three months of pregnancy. Seriously!!
I guess it all comes down to inconsistency in women’s health terms!
As Mary said it really is 9 months, that is 9 calendar months… but when you get a “month” worth of bc pills a month=4 weeks. So it makes sense to say a pregnancy is 10 months, since we are talking about the same sort of thing. (Birth, birth control)
(There is often an implied dumbass at the end of my sentences but sometimes I vocally throw it in.)
I just totally fell in love with you!
Yep, you need to get out more. Not easy when snowed or iced in!
We had the same “math” discussion at my house over and over and over.
Yeah, I remember when I realized WHAT THE HELL it’s TEN WHOLE MONTHS not NINE!
From this day on I let people know… HEY it’s ten months.
One day we were talking with some friends at church and my husband blurts out “Well you know she’ll be pregnant for TEN MONTHS, you realize that?!?!!”
I love that man. (That last month of mine kicked his ass.)
Nerds, NERDS, nerds. You sound like Mr. O’Neal and I, arguing all the time about stupid technicalities, as in “It would have been, like 32.5 seconds faster if you drove home my way.”
I think men never quite get that. They’re not the miserable ones, so 9, 10 months, whatever, it’s all good to them.
I’ll be really to read what you have to say during that last 8 weeks of pregnancy purgatory when people say stupid shit like “you haven’t had that baby yet?” and “still pregnant?”
Dumb assholes, I never wanted to punch so many people in my life as the last 8 weeks of each of my pregnancies.
YEAH, STILL PREGNANT MISTER OBSERVANT. Dumbass.
LOL!
Doesn’t he have it all in a spreadsheet by now? I mean, really!!