I gave her more than butt dimples

Nov 03, 2006

#Getting to know me#The Flinger Family

It’s really obvious that my daughter is her father’s kid. I knew it from the 20 week ultrasound where we got a profile shot and realized she had her daddy’s pug nose. (Incedentally, this did not keep me from having dreams that she was a black baby four feet long when I birthed her.) The first thing we noticed when we saw her, just minutes old, was her olive skin tone and perfectly shaped mouth, all thanks to Daddy. She was perfect. She was everything you’d see if you pictured Mr. Flinger as a little girl. With hair.

This bothered me somewhat as all I got to contribute was a large scar on my belly, some wicked post partum depression and butt dimples. Yes, I have two dimples above my ass and now, so does my only child. I’m so proud to pass that on.

I know many families that always say, “Oh, she looks just like so-and-so” while the other side will say, “She’s a spitting image of you-know-who.” I hate to tell you this but one of you is wrong. Obviously the child looks more like her mother (or father) and you’re reaching for straws with “but her eyes look just like Great Aunt Jane’s.” Does anyone even remember Great Aunt Jane? I didn’t think so. Nice try.

I don’t have that luxury. When Mr. Flinger’s family goes on and on and on and on about how she looks JUST LIKE HE DID when he was little, I have to bite my lip because, well, she does. Mr. Flinger, with his long seventies flowing golden hair, really would’ve made a very pretty little girl. And now he does.

So when my family wants to contribute something in LB’s personage we stretch it a little far. “Oh, her personality is so like you. Oh, the way she rolls her eyes? SO TOTALLY YOU. Oh mah gah, did she just give me sass? That’s you!” Thanks. I gave my daughter her bitchiness. Add that to butt dimples and I’m a real genetic winner.

In light of the recent move, LB and I have been stuck inside a lot. Stuck inside with only each other. Stuck inside with NO OTHER PEOPLE AROUND. This means two things. One, we really need to make more friends. Fast. And two, we can’t stand each other for that long, just the two of us, alone, together. She starts climbing the walls and aching for some sort of external interaction. A person! A dog! A freakin’ squirrel! Anything! I’m right there with her. We sort of stand at the window and watch the world and pine for someone to play with while being all stuck in our own filth and packing boxes and attitude. I never realized how much alike we were. The whole “Daddy’s girl” image really had me thrown off because I didn’t peg her for having received much of anything from me (aside from said bitchiness and butt dimples). As it turns out, we are so much alike, it’s causing us to drive one another batty. This does not bode well for Jr. High or High school. I see arguments in my future, the very same ones I had with *MY* mother. The ones where she yells, “You just don’t get it! Do you?!” And I will. And I do. Because there is something in her that is so me, is so much me, that she’s going to be all spit and fire and raw emotions. And I will get it. I just don’t think she will, until she watches her own two year old and realizes, “You are just like your Grandma Flinger,” and I’ll add, “who is just like your mother.”


  1. I’m laughing at this.  Why do we always have daughter’s like ourselves?  Yikes!

    Whenever I’m talking to my mother and complaining about my teen daughter’s attitude or getting in trouble for something, my mom says, “I can’t imagine what that’s like”.  Then she does this evil laugh.

    It’s all cosmic payback, don’t you know. smile

    By Ficklechick on 2006 11 03

  2. My son looks very much like his Dad.  I get this “he’s too pretty to be a boy” all the time.  When people see just myself and son, they say how much he looks like me.

    And they meet his Dad and then they retract.  My sister-n-law’s first child looked just like the father (red-head, irish descent) until about 2 years ago.  She is favoring her mother (who is of Spanish descent).  Weird how she changed like that.

    By Piglet on 2006 11 03

  3. who does my child(ren) look like? it totally depends on the day and their attitudes.  whoah, i’m so tired that i don’t even know if i spelled attitude right. and you’re a friggin’ teacher. great. perhaps it’s ME who resembles my children, especially the five year old who “can spell anything, mom, really, I can.”

    By Little Miss on 2006 11 03

  4. Little Miss, you do read me, right? Not only do I not spell, I typo regularly. You’re phine. wink

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2006 11 03

  5. Yup.  MIL refused to admit I had anything to do with our first son because he was *exactly* like dh until the kiddo was almost a year old.  I didn’t bake the kid, I didn’t push him out (so that episiotomy was all in my head I suppose), I didn’t feed him, I had nothing to do with him at all.  Argh.  Anywho, I feel ya.  Turns out ds1 inherited my temper.  And it’s not pretty.

    By lanna on 2006 11 03

  6. Hey, it posted 1:06am, and it’s really 12:06am.  Unless you managed to find a little pocket of mountain time over there that I don’t know about.  wink

    By lanna on 2006 11 03

  7. Ah yeah, all I’ve heard since my son was born is how much he looks exactly like my husband.  Ditto Lanna- I didn’t carry him for ten months (he was 2 weeks+ late) or have the cesarean or get those fabulous stretch marks!  Well, Mrs. Flinger, it’s way too early to tell who his personality will be like, but with two more on the way, one of them is bound to be my psychic doppelganger.

    Oh, and by butt dimples do you mean those dimples people have in the small of the back?  ‘Cuz I think they are hot!  Maybe I’m biased ‘cuz I have them, too.

    By Jessica on 2006 11 03

  8. ROFLMAO! There were some real gems in this post!!
    I laughed out loud at:
    “She was perfect. She was everything you?d see if you pictured Mr. Flinger as a little girl. With hair.”

    and “Mr. Flinger, with his long seventies flowing golden hair, really would?ve made a very pretty little girl. And now he does.”

    and so much more. wink So so so funny. See I have the opposite problem. THe child? He looks mostly like me. But his personality? Well, most of THAT came from daddy… except for the stubborn/quirky parts, those are me. So yeah, a real genetic winner personality wise *I* am.

    No butt dimples though. But Ben does have a really long crack. We can’t figure out where he got that one. Haven’t had a chance to examine the family…

    By Erin on 2006 11 04

  9. Most kids look like their dads until they’re about 2.  ‘cuz before genetic testing you needed a way to prove paternity. 
    My now 6yo looked like her dad until she was about 18 months.  Now, she’s like my twin.  And my mom’s.  And my nieces. 
    And the attitude is all me as well.

    By sue on 2006 11 04

  10. Okay So when you are really tired of having people say LB looks like the Mr. Just exclaim excitedly “Yeah but she’s got My butt dimples! see…!” and Moon ‘em!

    PS Butt dimples are totally hot.

    By Lgirl on 2006 11 04

  11. Living near hubby’s family and in hubby’s hometown, I get the “they look just like him!” all the time.  Irritating really.  So, we had these three supposed carbon copy children of hubby and the fourth one showed up looking just like, you guessed it, ME and now people just scratch their heads.  “Who does she look like?”
    “ME, you stupid asshole, she actually looks like me 100%!!!  Sheezus!”
    And, yes, when they are giving attitude, hubby gives me all that credit as well.

    By Sonia on 2006 11 04

  12. holy hell this is precisely how Lily turned out. Everyone everyplace still exclaims how he looks just like her Dad and it used to really peeve me out but now I just agree totally. She is lucky her Dad is such a hottie and that she didn’t inherit her mommies biggie nose. And I don’t know, Lily is way more laid back than me (and her Dad too) but we still manage to lock horns regularly. I think that is just the mother-daughter dynamic.

    By texasbelle on 2006 11 04

  13. You crack me up!!! Hannah looks like my husband and Gracie looks like me. Both girls have my personality.Some of Dean’s mostly me.

    I am happy for LB that she has your personality. The world is getting better and better. We need more people like you.

    why? cause I heart the Flingers.

    By Amanda on 2006 11 04

  14. My mom laughs in that cackly, slightly hysterical, maniacal way when she sees parts of me in Delaney’s personality and attitude. Her guilty pleasure is getting to witness payback firsthand.

    Dude, we’re so in for it.

    By Colleen on 2006 11 04

  15. Everyone on my biological father’s side of the family tells me I look just like him. Which is weird, because the only way someone could look more like my mom is if she were cloned. Which sometimes? I wonder. We look A LOT alike. I also have her attitude and the ability to worry about even the most minute things. Seriously. I think I’m a clone.

    By Jessie on 2006 11 04

  16. Caitlin looks just like my husband (except for my brown eyes.) One of my friends at work loves to say “Girl, she ain’t got any part of you…” which is mildly irritating! Ha! But it’s true…she may look like her daddy but she and I are JUST ALIKE. Wishy washy, emotional girlies who are already butting heads. This is practice for the pre-teen hell we are going to go through. Yikes!

    By Jamie on 2006 11 04

  17. Nice post!

    By JC on 2006 11 04

  18. But I bet they’re the cutest butt dimples ever, and what girl can live without some sassy?!

    By Renee on 2006 11 04

  19. When my brother was a baby he looked just like my dad, then from toddler-hood until puberty he looked just like my mom, now hes a taller version of my dad- I dont see it changing again, hes 27 now. 
    I know what my kids will look like, they will be uber pale, blonde hair(that will probably get darker as they get older) blue eyes with both of our smiles, bc we have the same smile somehow and probably about 7 feet tall.  Just a matter of whether they will have straight or curly hair.
    Its a little weird how many people have commented how similar Jay and I look, but people think that my moms MIL is actually her mom all the time.

    By Sara on 2006 11 05

  20. Loved this post!  I’ve wondered why, since I did ALL the work getting her here, does my daughter look just like Daddy (even the blue eyes, when my brown ones are supposed to be dominant!)
    We’ll come down and go to the children’s museum with you and LB on one of these rainy days soon…

    By AmyM on 2006 11 05