If I can’t take drugs, at least one of us better

Feb 01, 2007

#Pregnancy#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz#The Flinger Family

Small note to poison control: Obviously if I’m calling you because I’m afraid my child had a double dose of cough medicine, I am not one to dope her up regularly. And yes, of course the medicine is up in a cabinet that she can not reach. Who am I? Britney Spears? No, obviously I was standing right there with her when she pulled a fast one and grabbed the bottle and started chugging it like the fans at an Aerosmith concert.  And is it really necessary to ask me if she’s actually sick? Because no, of course she’s not, I just need a few hours and thought a double dose would take care of the nap-strike she’s on.


Suddenly it didn’t seem like a bad idea. I mean, if I can’t take drugs one of us should. And, well, she *does* have a runny nose.

Am I the only one slightly giddy at the sight of a runny nose because that means *maybe* she will nap today?

Am I the only one that then gets flaming pissed off when she continues to jump in her crib and yell for an hour when she doesn’t nap?

I know she needs The Nap. She is one cranky mofo without it and I’m a little worse for wear when the mister arrives home. Also, there is work. They actually pay me to log in and help people learn things. And then there are the bills and that garbage that makes our house smell like butt.

Somewhere along the way, I also have to grow a kid. Which is seeming to be more and more elusive these days. Kid? What kid? We’re doing this again?

So, see, it’s not that I’m a bad mom. I’m just… hopeful ... when she gets a little sick that maybe her body needs rest. Maybe she’ll take a nap. Maybe I can have two hours to myself this afternoon.

Then again, maybe pigs will fly out my ass.


  1. I always know that things are getting a little stressful when I begin contemplating taking that last tylenol with codine just to get Charlie to sleep.  So, if I’m not a bad mother then you aren’t…

    By Becky on 2007 02 01

  2. I’m currently ignoring the room-rearranging and singing going on during “quiet time” next door…Geez - she ran around as much as the dog did at the dogpark this morning!

    By AmyM on 2007 02 01

  3. You are not a bad Mom and you are not the only one that feels this way, trust me.  When my kids were little and they got sick, I would give them the “Nighttime” version of the medicine during the day and then sit and stare at them, waiting for their lids to get heavy.

    Glad your little one is okay and I hope that you get your two hours alone soon.

    By some girl on 2007 02 01

  4. Oh, you aren’t bad. My daughter thinks that Benadryl is a treat because we’ve given it to her so often!

    By Ali on 2007 02 01

  5. Hey, my doctor actually recommended giving Benadryl before a long car trip. So what if sometimes I also use it because OHMIGOD its either sleep or strangulation and really, we’d all be much happier with option A.  Just keep it to a minimum and she’ll be fine.

    By Karly on 2007 02 01

  6. I like your doctor, Karly! heh.

    Actually, she IS sick and she IS pissy. I just didn’t think, “Oh, man, you’re sick?” I thought, “Hey, maybe you’ll NAP!”

    Mom of the year. Right. Here.

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2007 02 01

  7. Hey, two calls to Poison Control before Anya was a year old.  TWO!  So shut it, girl.  You’re a good mom. 

    Although I would pay to see pigs will fly out your ass.  Monkeys too.  Monkeys would be awesome.

    By Elaine on 2007 02 01

  8. I gave Emma a tablespoon of meds once when the script called for a tsp. Never even called poison control. That’s the way things go with the second child.

    By texasbelle on 2007 02 02

  9. Oh yeah, and I once gave my daughter Benadryl not knowing my husband had already done so. Just so you know, a double dose has the opposite effect!

    By Ali on 2007 02 02

  10. Ha! It cracks me up that you refered to your child as a “cranky mofo.”

    By Emily on 2007 02 02

  11. It makes it so easier when they are sick to have them asleep, so I understand where you are coming from!  THe aggravating things about naps is that the older the kid gets, the harder it is to get the kid to take one, even if you KNOW they need one!

    By Holly on 2007 02 02

  12. ohmygosh!! I totally want to see pigs fly out your ass! will you video? draw a picture?

    pretty please?

    By Mrs. M on 2007 02 02

  13. Crossing my fingers for you…maybe I should cross my butt cheeks?

    By sarahgrace on 2007 02 02

  14. dear lord I love naps.  My 3 1/2 year old will nap on days when we are home, and I loooove it. *swoon*

    I’ve never, ever thought of giving my kids some of my sleep meds.  nope. *cough* 

    I can’t believe poison control asked you all those questions.  yeesh.  my kid wandered away from me and ate a random plant, but they didn’t ask me why I wasn’t controlling her better.

    By rachel on 2007 02 02

  15. Give them medication when they’re not sick?! Of course not. Who does that? Why are you looking at me?

    By Renee on 2007 02 02

  16. Y’all are killing me with the ass cheek talk. Yesterday she napped (YEY) and today? Well. Today I’m trying bribery alone.

    But it didn’t work for the pooping in the toilet so we’ll see if the nap bribe holds more weight than the crapping bribe.


    By Mrs. Flinger on 2007 02 02

  17. we have this great kid medicine here, it has an antihistimine in it ... we get excited when we see snot, a dose of that at 6pm and they are out for the night by 7pm. Sleeeeeeeeep we love us some of that.

    By Helen on 2007 02 02

  18. My 4-year-old has been sick with a cold for the last two days ... 20 minutes ago she dropped a full jar of pickles on the hardwood floor! She went to bed at 7pm. smile

    Hang in there!

    By Foxy6 on 2007 02 02

  19. Ummm… yeah.  I had a ton of those days when I was gestating #2.  If you’re not sick as well, I think you’re doing darn good.  I always got sick first, then the little one would get it, then dh, and I’d finally kick it a week *after* they did.

    By Lanna on 2007 02 02

  20. Well, seeing as how STREP is running rampant in our household, I too have (ahem, HAD) the same hopes.  Apparently being sick makes my kids hyperactive little imps that spill 1/2 a container of applejuice, eat (destroy) all the buns reserved for dinner and spreads them out all over the house, print a million COLOR pictures from Playhouse Disney Online (that my Sweetie has just learned the art of computer magic), and the list goes on and on…

    meanwhile, I’m passed out on the bed for three hours because I took a shower and that task alone zapped ALL my energy!

    By Little Miss on 2007 02 02