Geeky Talks
I’m your maid, not your cook
Mr. Flinger knew I hated cooking when he married me. He was OK with this. Maybe I was alluring him with my pre-marital sex. Maybe it was my witty ways and good looks. (snort) Maybe it was my ability to separate darks from whites when doing the laundry. Whatever. He knew I ate bagels, cream cheese and an apple every day for lunch for three years. He married me anyway.
Now I’m all “grown up” and feeding your guests rice with a garden burger patty on it (with a side of salsa) just isn’t acceptable. Apparently, as a mom and a wife you’re supposed to cook? Did anyone else get the manual on this? Here’s a hint: My toaster is broken. My oven over heats and the stove top is tilted. I would rather not eat than cook. I’ll sit, as I am right now, starving and pretty much fading into nothingness (don’t judge my size 10-ish ass. I’m fading, damnit!) and be a grump because I refuse to actually fix food. I’ve had a luna bar, grapes, two coffees, and an english muffin (not toasted per damn toaster). You might think this is my quest to “Get Skinny! 2006!” when reality is I’ve long since given up on the area formerly known as my abs and now known as “stretch mark village” in the country Flab. This is no diet. It’s laziness.
If only being food-lazy actually did make one skinny. I’d be trim! Instead, it makes me feed my child all these wonderful things, from a can, like cold green beans, olives, and peas and watch her thinking, “We really should heat those up for you.” And she has no idea that she’ll be cooking for herself in ten years because her mom doesn’t know where the kitchen is, but she can point to the hidden chocolate any day of the week.
I’m begging you, Internet, on behalf of my child and my husband, what great cooking sites do you go to? I need Light, Quick, and “Special Needs in the Kitchen” cooking. The Domestic Diva is always a lovely resource, but if you have a fave, please fill me in.
My child (and all subsequent children) and husband thank you. (I, on the other hand, am holding out judgement to see what kind of half baked sites you send. But I’d like to think I thank you. Indeed, if there are no special meats that I have to travel to Australia for, or spices I’ve never heard of, which most are, I’ll be happy to send you great cooking karma back.)
And, P.S. A big ol’ Shout Out to Amalah on Club Mom for the fantastic writeup about ye ol’ blog. Really? I almost wet myself. (Oh, wait, my comment said I peed a little. Fine, it’s a technicailty.) At any rate, the other flingers I live with were just as overjoyed as I was. In their own way, mind you. After I told LB, “Yo mamma done won a John Cougar Mellencamp Hurt So Good Blog Award of Excellence!” she spit out her peas and threw her yogurt on the floor. “Clean it up, beyotch.” (I swear she muttered this under her breath.) Mr. Flinger, on the other hand, passively said, “uh. is this a blog thing? And what does it have to do with tuna melts for dinner?”
Well, my fifteen minutes was just wonderful to me. So thank you, Colleen and Amy. And thanks to all the new reads I get to check out. YIPEE! More blogging. Less cooking. Amen.
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A book. “Saving Dinner” by Leanne Ely. Dh *loves* the Garlic Lime Chicken and is happy as a clam to have it once or twice a week - especially once he realized he could make it himself because it’s just that easy. Or email me for the recipe and a few other easy ones I’ve got stashed away (yes, I’ve kinda turned into a Suzy Homemaker of sorts - one that swears.
As for the oven/range thing… your dh is an engineer, is he not? Tell him you’ll attempt a few new things once *he* fixes the slantiness (is that even a word?). I believe all you need to do to level a stove is mess with the little feet on it - at least that’s how ours adjusted. Dh agrees with me that most stoves should have that neato feature - especially because houses are never square and all that crap.
I just found you through Amalah, so I hope it is okay for me to chime in.
Here are some of my favorites:
http://allrecipes.com
http://www.bettycrocker.com (more than baking)
http://www.campbellkitchen.com/
http://www.cdkitchen.com/
http://www.copykat.com/
http://www.foodnetwork.com/
http://www.kraftfoods.com
http://www.lawrys.com
http://www.mccormick.com/
http://www.recipelink.com/
http://www.topsecretrecipes.com
I love to cook though I rarely have time to do so. If you need more, I will gladly supply.
Sorry, can’t help you.
I feed my child eggos almost every night. If I’m feeling particularly motherly I’ll add butter and a plate…but that’s pretty damn rare.
http://cookingwithwhine.clubmom.com/
Her recipes are: easy, require simple ingredients, kid-friendly and yummy. What more could you ask for?
I don’t cook either, but I watch the Food Network compulsively, all the time. Then I go to foodtv.com and bookmark all my favorite recipes, and then I don’t make a single one.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0764561561/ref=pd_bxgy_text_b/002-7912666-8195209?ie=UTF8
I was recently introduced to the wonders of bisquick cooking.
http://www.kraftfoods.com/main.aspx?m=ffmag/mag1/mag
Free magazine, easy recipes.
http://www.eatingwell.com/
Subscription mag but lots of recipes on their site. All healthy, some quite easy, all tasty.
I don’t have any sites to share, but I do unfortunately share your cooking affliction. There are a few dishes I cook and cook well but for the most part I’d prefer to not cook at all.
I would love to come and personally teach you to love cooking! It is so fun! It doesn’t have to be an overwhelming chore!
anyway, my advice for you today is to start small. Get some whole wheat tortillas (ones that are still bendy, though, not stiff like the Ezekiel 9 slabs) and start wrapping up your rice and garden burger with a side of salsa. It makes it really come together. We eat pretty darn anything in a wrap. Wraps make random leftovers into a presentable meal!
Oh, and I just discovered VegWeb, which is halfway decent. I also really love looking at 28 Cooks for inspiration (gorgeous food shots!). I’m one of those people who won’t look at a cookbook unless there are glossy color photos on every page. I’m trying to get better about that.
I rarely cook but I do clean a mean toilet. I actually GRILLED STEAKS last night and I thought the hubby would pass out from shock. The girls frequently eat dinners of veggie chicken patties and string cheese and apple sauce and bread. Oh and water with ice cubes if we’re extra fancy. I love Allrecipes.com, though. Also the fabulous Lindsay at Suburban Turmoil has a cooking blog, ya’ll! Here’s the link: http://chefmom.blogspot.com/
Sounds like you need Dinner Made Easy by Ms. Betty Crocker! http://www.bettycrocker.com/dme/dinner_made_easy.aspx?MSCSProfile=3C79F0C7EA3162B2749BCCA9199FD9D1CCBF7E38A3531D5454A9838778FD418400D2FFD1E2815AFC7F72D126727919EA65EE31CA265C5B71339A41A80FBB9AC981DEAD1D7E71F9DC3DA723591AAC222630A50EB38FB01DE242D3F4BB15FAA70C9146AD9BB69ECAEA5ACBF414A52A3AC79C850D3761128E8E9558DD244F0B86FF
I haven’t actually tried any of the recipes, mainly because I seem to have lived with people who love to cook ALL of my life, but they sure do look yummy. Let me know how it turns out…b/c I am soon to be living with a man who only knows how to use the grill.
Not a cook living here either, but a slow-cooker is always good. Throw a roast in, in the morning and BOOM, it’s ready in the evening. Even I can do it!
Cooking is overrated. I impressed my hubby last night by heating up some frozen meals, re-plating them, and letting him think I made them myself. I let him know afterward, though, since I he was about to take out the trash and was bound to notice the boxes!
Not a website but a magazine to recommend: http://www.lightandtasty.com/
Though I think you can get recipes online too. I look forward to getting my magazine each month with the excitement of a three year old waiting for Christmas.
Also their sister Magazine Simple & Delicious http://www.bestsimplerecipes.com/
Love your blog! Found you from Amalah.
Yes, Rachael Ray is all over the blooming place. But her recipies are easy and fast, quite tasty, and you can get her cookbooks at the library. Express Lane meals is my fave, because it makes shopping easier.
Then check out Desperation Dinners. Focus on cheap ingredients.
And when all else fails, The Sweet Potato Queens Big Ass Cookbook (and financial planner)
i don’t cook - we rely on my husband for anything that doesn’t come out of a box (and some things that do!).
congrats on your review - that’s very cool.
You know I’m not the one to be asking about this. What was it I told you that my husband said about me?
Oh, yes! He said that when I walk into the kitchen, my IQ drops 40 points. My brain disengages and my eyes glaze over just like a guy walking into a titty bar.
Lean Cuisine makes a mean five-cheese lasagne that I highly recommend.
Thanks for the plug Leslie.
I?ll never forget your dinner of a Gardenburger served on a bed of rice with a side of salsa. That was classic.
Since you really don?t enjoy cooking, I wouldn?t force it. And don?t beat yourself up about it either. There are so many short cuts you can take to put a healthy dinner on the table with minimal effort.
How about Costco lasagna paired with a tossed salad and garlic bread. Or you could grill asparagus or saut? fresh green beans to go along with the lasagna for something more interesting.
You can make pasta with a jar of spaghetti sauce and add your own ground turkey and fresh veggies to the sauce for a more hearty meal.
Stir-frys are SO easy. I usually start by cooking three chopped up chicken breast halves in a skillet with a little olive oil. Halfway through I add a whole package of frozen veggies and some Yoshida?s Gourmet Sauce. In less than 20 minutes you?re done. Served over rice, it?s a healthy, balanced meal. (I usually make this at least once a week.) Costco pot stickers are really yummy too, so you could add that to the mix.
You can also do a lot with a grocery store rotisserie chicken. Either eating it as is, chopping it up for a large dinner salad, or adding it to pasta sauce served over pasta.
Trader Joes also has a ton of frozen dinner options (frozen turkey meatballs, salmon cakes?) that you can add to your semi-homecooked meal.
Just try to keep it simple at first. You don?t want to go overboard and then get frustrated with complicated and time-consuming recipes. Even with my Domestic Diva blog, I still end up eating at least one Lean Cuisine for dinner a week. (Shhh, don?t tell.)
And as far as websites go, Allrecipes is my favorite. I?d stick with recipes that have a 4 or 5 star rating. I think the reviews are really helpful, and they offer lots of tips and substitutions for the recipes.
“Everyday Food” magazine is also great. I know it’s Martha, but most of the recipes are really easy. You can get a ton of their recipes online too.
Okay, I’ll quit talking now.
I can’t help you I just started myself.
Sometimes Hannah eats ceral because she is sick of chicken nuggets.
Last night was different she ate the beautiful dinner that I made.
Do you have a BJ’s or Sam’s Club or Costco. I go there to get some ideas for dinner.
A second vote for Leanne Ely’s “Saving Dinner” cookbook. I love her recipes! She has an e-mail newsletter too, with healthy recipes & ideas… love Leanne.
Congrats on your 15 minutes! Now I must go see!!!
Crockpot meals. They come in a bag with everything you need, dump it in in the morning and you dont have to think about it again until its time to eat. And they taste pretty good.
I think you deserve any award you get for your blog.. You’ve done an excellent job here.. enough so it should make up for any “non-cooking” you do!! wtf?
Good lordy… look at your comments. Congrats on your pimped site!
I am constantly looking for things to cook. I enjoy it, but only if I have all the items I need and I have all the time I want to cook. Funny how both of those never work, therefore I don’t cook much and end up bitching about “there is nothing to eat” or “what do you want? I don’t know what to make.”
As Paige mentioned, I use the Everyday Food magazine and recipes all the time. They teach you things as you go. Kitchen basics, along with providing recipes that aren’t too wierd. They usually aim towards simple recipes that don’t require too many ingredients along with taking too long. I have about 4 years worth, so if you would like to borrow some, please holler! I would love to share.
Ok I didnt have time to read all those wonderful comments! holy cow..But I would say for easy and simple, check out kraft.com and verybestbaby.com has some great ones..type in recipes in the search and tons of sites come up. cookinglight.com is a great one too. good luck! I hate cooking too, well, I take that back. I like cooking if I can cook without two kids attached to my legs or fighting with each other..or if morning sickness actually made food look good and not smell rancid..haha
OMG - I’m convinced we’re twins, separated at birth and wearing drastically different sized pants.
I hate to cook. I’m not especially good at it. I don’t enjoy it. I’ve been sitting here thinking about the hamburger in my frige that’s at risk of going bad… but I’m so not in the mood to cook - not even burgers! How lazy can you get?!? So what will I do instead? Nuke hot dogs.
To put it in perspective… a few weeks ago I actually cooked hot dogs in the pan. My husband almost passed out. He said, “wow you made these on the STOVE?” and he was truly excited.
Mmm… maybe I could muster up the energy to do that tonight.
Oh, and our side dishes? Nuked pierogies (which I justify by saying butter spray works fine in the microwave, but not in a pan - so less points for WW because no oil). Oh, or nuked red potatoes (at least I get exotic there). Or nuked corn from a can…
Mmm… and sometimes I even nuke a box of frozen veggies.
Hell, I can’t even handle washing lettuce and making a salad. I buy the pre-washed bagged stuff.
So… we don’t like to cook and we’re not real fond of ironing and we forget to get the clothes out of the dryer.
Which reminds me… I’d better go.
PS. I was gonna suggest the Kraft Foods site that several people have suggested already. I’ve never actually made anything from there, mind you… but I like to read the recipes.
Sorry, I really haven’t used any recipe sites lately. For that matter I haven’t used any recipes lately. When I do I go for the Better Homes and Gardens Cookbook.
I know I tried to email most everyone already because I truly appreciate the advice (or the company of non-cookers) but I have to share a funny story. Not funny like HAHA but funny sad and why I’ll never ever be Martha Stewart or Mrs. Cleaver.
So I’m reading your comments and getting motivated. YES! I’ll COOK! I buy ground turkey for taco salad. Yummy and not too much work on a hot day. I had an old pound of ground turkey that went bad (see? I suck at this) so I thought I’d throw it out when I took out the trash.
I went to make the dinner tonight and lo and behold, I threw out the GOOD turkey. So I think I’m doomed from the start. Thanks again to everyone for the great sites and cookbooks. I’m going to burry my head in the sand now and maybe make toast.
I say get a chef! I’d do it for pennies if I was close by (I love to cook, I even debated cooking school) When I cook, I’ll double the recipe to share with others and people just give me money for their cost of the groceries. New moms seem to really dig it. Another thing are those places you can go to like http://www.DreamDinners.com where you make like a months worth of food and they supply everything. I went to one, I was actually pretty impressed. Much better then frozen dinners.
I can’t resist this topic. I third (I think) Paige’s Everyday Food recommendation.
Also, I like to cook but often only do so 1-2 times each week. Frozen does wonders. Salad dressings are wonderful meat, poultry, seafood, pasta and veggie marindaes/dressings. Olive oil, lemon juice, chicken/veggie stock, and seasonings (McCormick’s and Lawry’s have a nice variety) sprinkled on same can taste gourmet.
Along the same lines as the crockpot (which I love in winter) are the Reynolds (also great recipe site http://www.reynoldskitchens.com) Hot Bags? and Oven Bags. Or just create your own foil packet to pop in the oven. Serve all-in one meal with egg noodles/pasta or rice (I would die without my rice cooker
). If you go the crockpot route, the Slow Cooker Liners are fab too.
I would be happy to share simple, no hassle meals suggestions by email if you would like.
I hope you aren’t sorry I found your site.
I use http://www.meals.com for meal planning almost weekly. Lots of great ideas, lots of easy recipes with clear directions, and people review with variations on the recipes so you can change things up even.
Good Luck!
i live at food network and epicuorious. both have really helpful reviews. giada de laurentis, the barefoot contessa…just steer away from rachel ray (i know she has a huge fan base), not only is she obnoxious but she can’t cook either.
er epicurious
Simplicity itself: buy yourself a big box of Bisquick. Use said box to create yummy pancakes or delicious waffles. Also, you can go their site for lots of easy recipes. Their wannabe peach cobbler recipe is a keeper.
I’m not much of a cook. Most of my dinners come from a box or out of the freezer. When I get real adventurous I might throw a few things together in the crockpot and hope for the best.
So glad that Amalah linked you. You are now officially one of my favorite bloggers!
How on earth did I forget about waffles? We’ve had waffles like 4 times in the last 2 weeks for dinner because there was no way I was using the stove for anything. I make mine from scratch because I have everything on hand, but just top ‘em with butter and maple syrup or jam/jelly (no fancy compotes here). Breakfast for dinner was always fun when I was growing up…
Is there a Mealmakers in your area. Once a month you can go for a couple hours and make a bunch of meals and they ain’t half bad.
Oh my God, you must visit Alicat at Something So Clever (http://www.somethingsoclever.typepad.com/) oEverydayfoodmag.com
I swear by some of the recipies on Food Network’s website. Especially the ones from the 30 minute meals show. That was the only way I actually learned how to make fried chicken really easy, which with a jar of spaghetti sauce and some mozzarella cheese turns into chicken parm in our house.
Good luck with the cooking thing. 