Internet Explorer and my two year old: a toss up

Front-end-developer Parenting

I can’t decided which I am more frustrated with today. IE or LB. They both throw tantrums when asked to behave. They both push my buttons until I’m ready to yell. Neither of them plays nicely at times and neither of them gives a rats ass about web design.

Look, let me come right out and say it here. I gosh-darn strongly dislike Internet Explorer. (LB threw out the word crap the other day followed closely by damnit. I am now speaking only in “rated LB” terms around the house and it gets so. bleeping. irritating. But really, do I need my two year old saying fuck? I obviously hit my fuck quota for the year.) Ok, it goes like this….. I get frustrated and unsettled at life in general. Perhaps it’s a mom who is prettier and not gagging hours a day over her sink that makes me wish I wasn’t me. Or maybe it’s the car’s “check engine” light that appears on a random basis having nothing what-so-ever to do with getting gas or a gas cap like one would hope. Or maybe it’s the two year old being very two-sie and me being very preg-sie and we just collide a little too long. It is times like this that I really want to escape to my happy place. You’d never guess where that is? (No, it’s not partying in the bathroom while the 6 month old sleep in the hotel room, but that was a fun memory…) My happy place is my blog. It’s the escape I get when things just are too .... real.. in real life.

Y’all are my happy place. (Sounds of people going “ahhhh” followed closely by gagging.)

It’s no surprise that I come here looking for a warm feeling in my heart but when I see the ick template, I decide it’s time to change it. Then I obsess for a couple of days about css rules and why you have to use javascript to get your sidebars to align correctly and I nerd out in my happy zone. When I step back, it’s pretty (enough) and I like it (for now).

Until I load the page in Internet Explorer and there is blood and shrieking and violence in my happy place.

So. Here I am. With one lovely template in Firefox and a fuckedup version in IE. And do you know what? I DO NOT CARE. That’s right, Internet, I am officially the worst developer in the world because I just unveiled my work half finished. Of course, you know I’m currently sitting behind the curtain staring at code going, “WHAT THE FUCK!” (Ooops, I mean, what in the gosh darn world…)

For now, though, do everyone in the world a favor. Download Firefox. Then come back here and enjoy a functioning footer with sidebars that actually go the length of the page. ‘Cause DAMN if I’m cowering to Bill Gates (again.) And while you’re at it, by a Mac.


Also, while you’re waiting for me to get my act together, feel free to keep the “what we do for the holidays” discussion going. I’m enjoying a rousing rendition of “holy crap, people travel EVERYWHERE” right now. I had no clue so many of you get around on Christmas Day. You Christmas whores, you.

(**updated** someone check the temperature in hell. I think the template is fixed in IE and the toddler is asleep. It’s surely cold down there, surely cold…)