Geeky Talks
My boobs just got me free fruit.
I’ve mentioned probably half a MILLION times that I’m not comfortable in my boobs. I don’t like my bras, I had them sliced off, I had them mis-interpreted, and still, the World At Large loves bewbs.
Damn you people.
So today I put on my ONE pretty bra because I get to play grown up and meet with a client. I didn’t realize, though, the busted-ness of this shirt. I somehow managed to forget that when I wear this bra I have cleavage. And by cleavage I mean I feel like I’m being choked by two fat fisted babies clutching for my wind-pipe.
I take The Girls up to the cashier to order a small sandwhich. Cashier: Tall, Young, Male, Single. Me: Scarred from two children being ripped outta my gut, not as thin as I once was, possibly bleeding at this minute but I couldn’t be sure… changes stance… yes bleeding at this minute, with roots from hair-color grow out. Oh! And boobs.
Me: I’d like a Tuna Sandwhich. Can I get that grilled?
Cashier: Glancing at chest Sure! I can grill that for you.
Me: And No chips please. I will just eat them.
Cashier: Laughs heartily. HOHOHO. Glances as chest Would you like a fruit replacement… leans in free?
Me: SURE!
Him: What’s your name?
Me: Getting slightly uncomfortable at the power of my boobs Um, uh.. Er… Uh…
Him: Your name? For the order? To call out?
Me: Oh! Right. Yea. Leslie. Sorry.
Yea.
Just goes to prove: Having boobs does not make you smart.
But it does get you free shit.
Booyah.
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BOO-YAH!!!!!!!!!
RAUR, baby!
HAWT TATAS!
This is too damn funny. I though my dd made me a freegin genius, and now your telling me they don’t. Ugh, thanks a lot. hahah
I have discovered this power long ago. I’d be a sober stay at home loser without them. Instead, I partake in the plentiful free gifts offered up by boob lovers everywhere (beer, tickets, fries, food) I’d like to say it’s my winning personality or my red hair, but alas, I am endowed. Oh, they also get you out of speeding tickets…SCHWEET!
Promise me you will wear that shirt at Blogher!
ohdeargod, like LITERALLY five men just walked by staring at the tatas. HAI. Wow, I have to go home and change.
Good lord. You sick bastards.
Love it!
The power of the girls is overwhelming…been there. Mine haven’t gotten me free fruit yet though.
Slackasses.
Sha-freakin’-zam. Hey, work it work it!
i totally look at cleavage all day at work. i work at panera and it’s everywhere. i’ve never given free fruit because of it though. i should take a lesson from your cashier!
Your before and after pics make me want to consider reduction. I’m 5’4” and mine are 34DD. Unfortunately I’ve got the big butt to go with the big chest so I’m afraid I would look bottom heavy.
I totally judge men who are boob oglers. My FIL is a boob ogler and that is SO CREEPY.
DOOD, my bewbs have NEVER gotten me free shit. I am obviously not using them to their full capacity. LOL
I need to start, they’re the only body part that I wish would stop shrinking as I lose weight.
Boobs R gud.
Hey, if you’ve got it, flaunt it. Free fruit to boot? Awesome!
Must.buy.more.low.cut.shirts.
Can I get free tacos?