My brush, literally, with fame (a blogHer tale)


**April, 2013** Hello and welcome! If this is your first time here, I’d love to meet you. I’ve recently written about being diagnosed with Adult ADHD, spent much of last year traveling and went back to work full time as a Program Manager for Media at a large global company. My children are 8 and 6 and I love talking to people with similar stories. Be sure to say hi and pull up a chair. I’ll grab the coffee. (Or tea for my UK friends with milk and sugar.)**

I walked in to the keynote, searching the thousands of faces to find “my people.” I wonder in and out of tables bumping in to elbows and computers. I recognize a few features but I continue to bump, walk, bump, walk looking for my table.

I spot the table of women more familiar than their pictures or email addresses. Vivaciously, as only I am known to do, I yell out, “There are MAH BEESHES! Wuz up Mothah Fuckahs!” I glance around the table taking in each face that I adore. I see Angie, Dawn, Molly, Shonda, Sam and Karen and…. who’s this? I don’t recognize the lovely lady in the red hair so poised next to my flamboyant friends. “Hi! I’m Mrs…” It hits me about the same time Angie pipes up, “This is Ree Drummond? THE PIONEER WOMAN.”

There is a silence and my mouth hits the floor.

I stumble over to hug her, gush, possibly lick her feet. She says in her polite southern accent, “I was just admiring your belly.” I laugh as she touches my two year postpartum belly. “This?” I exclaim, “This is old left over from before.” I can tell she feels bad. She recovers and says, “At least yours is in the front, mine is all in the rear.”

I hug her. I could package her up and take her home with me.

At some point during the keynote I look over and she looks as thought she feels just terrible. But! It’s her lucky day! She’s talking to me. Remember? The girl that did the five most stupidest things possible last year at BlogHer? The girl that went up to four, no five, different people thinking they were OTHER people only to get three sentences in before said mistake person clears up my error?

The girl who spilled, and broke, a glass of wine. Totally sober, mind you.

The girl who says all the wrong things at all the wrong times.

The girl who fifteen minutes earlier asked, “Does this dress make me look pregnant?” only to find out, from her idol that yes! Yes it does.

I’ll never wash the dress that Ree touched.

Thankfully Ree is the kind of classy gal that can laugh with me over this. “Remember that time…” I picture saying to her in a year at the next conference where she wins some more big awards. And then I’ll ask when the lady next to me is due. And it’ll be my humiliation.

To everything turn turn turn…

Pictures can be found on Flickr


** update, it happened again. March 2, 2010