Geeky Talks
Nothing says “miscarriage” like an Elmo DVD, Kleenex, and Vodka
Since there aren’t any hallmark cards for “currently emptying uterus”, I thought the next obvious sign would be lumbering up to the counter at Fred Meyer with two Elmo DVDs, a runny/red nose and puffy eyes, a pack of kleenex, pads and martini mix. No need to ask how my day is, really. Someone teach people behind the counter a bit about body language. ‘Cause unless you really REALLY want to know? Don’t ask.
I had my blood work today since they’re now watching for my HCG to hit zero. Now it’s the “Let’s play for under par!” game. And I was just getting used to rooting for a higher number.
I think the thing I’m most thankful for, (aside from KNOWING, and having a supportive husband who is sad but still taking the kid so I can lay down and cramp in peace, and all that mushy love crap… ahem) is the wonderful support and advice from all of you. The thing is, I’d never know what to expect if I didn’t have Christine and Traci (to name a few) telling me what will happen when I miscarry. That book isn’t out there, “What to expect when you think you’ll bleed to death.” And there’s no chapter on, “Where to find the HCG calculators so you can play with your HCG numbers and check the doubling times!” or “Fun with HCG needles!” It’s not there. None of it is. So instead, I’m listening, intently, to all your comments and emails and my uterus. I’m trying to have that still small voice that says “HUSH” when my uterus says “UUGGHHHHHHHH!” and my body sends the baby packing. I’m thankful that you are willing to talk because I’m more than happy to listen. And the knowledge that I am not alone is worth a million Skinny Cow Ice Cream Sandwiches, which I have a new pack of 20 from Costco of, so help yourself. And then settle in. It could be a long night.
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So sorry Les. Ah, I wish I had more eloquent words, but I’m praying for you and I love you.
My heart goes out to you. I’m so sorry for your loss.
So sorry hun. Here if ya need anything (another picture of coffee? Next time I will make it a beer).
HOLD THE PHONE! They have Skinny Cow at Costco? In Portland???
Hope you’re doing well!! I’ve been through it too - not my favorite thing, but it does get better, it really does.
Skinny Cow? Hon, you’d better sent hubby out for the full-fat chocolate-covered Haagen Daz bars. Rowr.
Yeah, they tend to gloss over the whole m/c thing in the “WTEWYE” book. Bleh.
I can see the fact that they wouldn’t want to FUH-REAK out the populace of non-m/c-ing preggo chicks… but they you’d think they could stash some info in the very, very back of the book… like just in case… Sigh.
Here’s to hoping the numbers plummet quickly… etc, etc. Love to you!
Here for you, as always.
Christine
P.S. This site helped me a bit: http://www.pregnancyloss.info/recovery.htm
ahhh…sending so many hugs and prayers your way….
My local grocery store has mint ice cream Skinny Cows… just a thought if you’re a chocolate/mint freak like me (and if my store has it, it’s got to be somewhere around you).
My tmi question of the day - did you at least get Kotex? Always pads tend to stick in ouchy places and dry out girly parts and icky stuff like that with lots of use… (and diaper rash is something you *don’t* want right now).
I wish there was something I could say. “Crap” doesn’t really sum it up.
If your experience is anything like mine you’ll be getting a lot of blood draws to watch until you get to less than 5. Ask for a butterfly needle each time. It hurts less and there’s less bruising.
Did your doc give you some pain meds? Because if not…demand them. And not just the wimpy naprosen. Something narcotic. If it gets too painful you can go to the ER and they can shoot you up with the good stuff.
If you end up not getting down to below 5 let me know and I’ll brief you on the d&c procedure. It was pretty scary for me since I’d never had one but now that I know what to expect it would be so much easier.
Sending you a giant hug…although skinny cows are probably more comforting right now.
Skinny Cow? I want some of that martini mix. Shaken, not stirred.
my new hope is that things happen quickly with as little pain as possible
I am so, so sorry that you are going through this. If you are going through a lot of pain (because miscarriages can HURT, ohmylord the cramping) don’t hesitate to call your doctor about getting some decent pain medication. You’re suffering quite a bit emotionally, no reason to go through the same pain physically if you can avoid it.
Again, I am so sorry.
Oh honey. I am so sorry you are going through this. It’s crazy how emotional invested I am into someone I just “met,” but I keep you in my thoughts and I wish I could give you a big hug right now. Take care.
I am so sorry sweetie!
I am thinking of you and sending HUGS your way!
I really hope the counter person didn’t ask you how your day was going. Someone obviously doesn’t own an ounce of common sense.
I’m so sorry!
I wish I had something to say, but words always seem to fail me in situations such as this. Just know that I’m thinking of you.
I’ll take the vodka! Bloody Marys anyone??? Oooooooooooooooo… sorry… BAD BAD BAD reference. Go ahead, shoot me now. (I’ll wait).
Anyway, you still manage to crack me up even when you are going through such crap. That is at least encouraging for those of us that are worried about you! I know there is no way to know what to feel, say or do while your body is holding you hostage and threatening both your sanity and your physical well being. Keeping a sense of humor (and a handy supply of ice cream) is a good start tho.
If I had a time machine, I’d let you have a whirl in it right now honey! Meantime, hang tight with us and believe in the power of ice cream and liquor. (Hmmmm, maybe a smoothie with Skinny Cow and Vodka would work???). Oh, and maybe rent some really funny movies. I suggest oldies but goodies like Caddyshack, Stripes or The Big Lebowski!
{{{{HUGS EVERY DAY}}}}}!
I’m so sorry.
Been there twice…the whole thing with the doctor telling you he does know, just wait and see…
there will be better days very soon.
Words fail me. Sending hugs and feel-good vibes your way.
You can call me I will be home all day. Do you still have my cell phone number?
Whatever you need let me know.
I’m so sorry. Did the doctor give you any good stuff for the cramping? It seems like this calls for at least the codine…
So sorry you’re having to deal with this. I’m with Jenny & Katie Kat - you need the richest ice cream and maybe some Godiva liquer to make a super milkshake. Since you’re up north & can’t have Bluebell, guess Starbucks ice cream will have to do. Next time you’re in Tx, I’ll have some Bluebell for ya.
Get percoset (sp?) for pain - my husband says that stuff will hook you up. 
I know what you mean, there are tons of instructional manuals for weddings & babies and equal numbers of self-help books for grief/divorces. But there is nothing out there for ‘what to expect when things are really sucky.’ I was just talking to a woman who got screwed in her divorce (paying credit card bills for the mistress’s trinkets) b/c she “went to the $1 store for lawyer.” Too bad there’s not any good info out there - because the bad stuff is so terrifying and no one is prepared for any of it.
I just found your blog a week or so ago, but I just wanted to say I’m so sorry.
I’m so sorry. Damn, this sucks. Much love to ya!
Think [hugs]; not [ugh]s.
Oh, Les. All I can say is that I’m thinking of you (and have been including you in my prayers for quite some time now). Although I wish I had theg perfect thing to say, I’m sure it still wouldn’t be able to help you as much as you need it to. Just know that I am here for you if you need me. Love and hugs…
Les, I am just so sorry. I don’t know what else to say. I am praying and hoping that you get some good news from somewhere soon. You so deserve it. Lots of hugs!
God this sucks big time, huh? I’m wishing for quickness in this process for you. My mother had several m/c and I don’t know how she managed it without the internet! People didn’t relaly talk about it back then. I’m glad that you havev a great support network online and off.
And eat the FATTENING STUFF. Screw the skinny cows. Bring on the Haagen Daz and Ben & Jerry’s.
Leslie, we love you (and your daughter and husband) very much. I am thankful that now, at least, you know a little more about what’s happening in your body.
I just clicked through your Flicker photos and melted when I saw the new pics of your little girl! if you feel up to it, go snuggle with her while she’s sleeping. There is nothing more peaceful than a sleeping angel to help calm your spirit.
lots of hugs. lots of prayer.
Sorry for your loss.
Jenny from Mama Drama turned me on to your blog in her blog… I read it faithfully.
I am so sorry for your loss.
sorry I wasn’t around for this one but you were in my thoughts on Monday and yesterday for sure. Why isn’t there a book on what to expect when you miscarry? I would imagine that is the most scary part. The unknown is always the worst. Sorry to hear about the job too. Why are you getting kicked when you are already down?