Officially wearing lycra since 2004

Dec 15, 2006

#Social Clutz Loveable Spaz

You know how your balance is off during pregnancy?  And you know how I already have issues with being a klutz? Disaster is sure to follow.

I won’t list them out for you (trying to keep some level of pride here) but lately? I’m not just off balance, I’m off kilter, off skilter and hilter.  I’m a loose hinge. I’m a leaning Christmas Tree. I’m.. well, you get it.

Already my belly is big enough to make my back ache. Already laying on my back or stomach is painful. When I lift my arms above my head in public (don’t ask me WHY I am doing this, just go with me here) my belly will shove out from under my shirt and show the entire world just how white and stretched out it already is. SEXY!

So it’s not a huge surprise that our leaning tower o’ treeza completely tipped over yesterday when my BOOBS brushed, ever so softly, against it as I tried to plug in the lights.

Between my belly, my boobs and my ass? I’m hopeless. I don’t think I’ll be sitting in LB’s little table and chair set she gets this Christmas. *sigh*



  1. Aw, that is so pitiful.  Maybe this is a way to tell you to sit down and put your feet up.  With hot chocolate.  That your husband makes.

    By cheryl on 2006 12 15

  2. May it rest in peace.

    By Renee on 2006 12 15

  3. I’ll never forget the time when my pregnant best friend went to move her big belly out of the way to avoid hitting something, and then knocked it over with her butt instead…
    ...so far, my boobs have not recovered from the last kid yet and are still very deflated, bummer- I was looking forward to those…

    By sarahgrace on 2006 12 15

  4. Hey, that could happen to anyone. **snicker** wink

    By Friglet on 2006 12 15

  5. Maybe the tree didn’t fall over as much as swoon at the touch of your luscious, voluminous breasts?

    By Colleen on 2006 12 15

  6. HAHA! Nice try, Colleen. I appreciate the sentiments.

    Um. Pretty sure nobody else is posting pics of their farked up tree on the floor. Are they? no? Just me then?

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2006 12 15

  7. Aww, you poor thing.

    We tried to flat-out kill our tree, not just knock it down.  So the fact that yours is decorated (even if it is on your pretty hardwood floor), means you’re way more on top of it all than we are.

    By Lanna on 2006 12 15

  8. You need a sconeday.

    By AmyM on 2006 12 15

  9. eh, shiz happens. pick it up and do it all over again. A few days ago I misjudged the distance and wound up drgging my goddam belly against the edge of the butcher block. Yeah, that smarted. I particularly don’t like how sofe the bellybutton gets. ew.

    By texasbelle on 2006 12 15

  10. er, soft.

    By texasbelle on 2006 12 15

  11. Oh no! I have been hitting my belly on the door frames..you would think I would have noticed its been here for the last couple months…but no..I smack it daily on something/or bump into someone. At least I havent fallen down the stairs or anything this time around. gah.

    Hopefully your tree wasnt too damaged adn you could get it back up smile

    Speaking of a belly..where is that 2nd trimester belly pic smile

    By Bree on 2006 12 15

  12. I know I know! The pressure! Must take that picture soon. Promise. ..

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2006 12 15

  13. I hear you on the klutz factor. I managed to hit my own kid in the head with the car door this morning (not hard, thankfully.) She went wailing and screaming toward the building we were parked in front of (right in front of our dentist’s office) and fell on her balloon and popped it and then went completely ballistic.

    NICE Hallmark moment there mama. wink

    Klutzes of the world, unite!

    By Jamie on 2006 12 15

  14. Your tree looks tired.

    By Kerry on 2006 12 15

  15. Our tree, last year.

    Not done by my pregnant boobs and or butt though… so you win there. wink

    By Erin on 2006 12 16

  16. That’s what you get for having boobies.  Now you should be a nice flat chested girl like me and you wouldn’t have that problem.

    By Mama C-ta on 2006 12 16

  17. Erin, I love that before we pick it back up, we go GET THE CAMERA. Classy! wink

    And Mama-C-Ta, that’s why I can blame it on the baby (even if it WAS my enormously pregnant boobies).

    And Jamie, AMEN for Klutz friends. Although, we probably shouldn’t walk on the same sidewalk together ever.

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2006 12 16

  18. You make me laugh, what can I say?!

    By Holly on 2006 12 16

  19. those must be some amazing knockers!

    By SaraS-P on 2006 12 16

  20. I don’t know how many times I knocked my girls in the head with my preggie belly round with Goober Baby.

    So who knows, perhaps in a few months you’ll have a pic of LB on the floor with a blog entry of “I knocked LB over with my Boobs/Belly.”

    Perhaps a helmet for her this Christmas? wink

    By ^starshine on 2006 12 17