Geeky Talks
OHMYGOD I Am One Of THEM. AKA: I’m clearly medicated
Did I just totally gush out on you? Dearchrist. I just re-read my post and…
I think I threw up a little bit in my mouth.
When I started blogging, I was in grad school. I was plowing through programming which at the time, was akin to having my toenails shaved by the lovely asian gals until my toes were nubbins of bone. I used to envision this as I was studying the Java Sun Packages. I’d think, “SCRRAAAPEEE” toe one. “Scrraapppe” This is probably one of the reasons I never liked Java. I like my toes too much.
But then I got pregnant, finished up my thesis, had a baby and dipped in to PPD. I remember reading people’s blogs who were so thrilled to be mothers.
I wanted to kick their asses.
Or drink a lot of gin straight from the bottle.
I used to gag, mentally at least, at the joyful posts of parents who rejoiced in their children.
My kid didn’t sleep. That bitch. And I was tired.
I recovered thanks to medication and a therapist and became a mom. Then I got knocked up again.
And off the medicine.
And got a little crazy.
Or, “KrayKray” as V would say.
I’m open about my PostPartum Depression. I’m open about it because I don’t feel at fault, but rather I understand the imbalance of hormones shifting can cause a drastic change after the birth of a child. Toss in sleep deprivation and you can get pretty whacky.
I’m planning on going off the medicine eventually. My therapist said it takes roughly two years for most synapsis to go back after the change, physical change, that occurs after you have a child. I just think I’m uber cool saying, “My therapist” like I’m some hip Californian who runs on the beach at sunrise and attends spa yoga. I say it with a lisp. “My THERAPYSHT”
It’s been two years. We’re now diving head long in to two and a half. But winter here is long and dark and I will wait until the light comes back before I make that change now. And I am ok with that. I am ok with having a little extra help in the mean time, after adjusting to the change of children. I’ll re-evaluate next spring when the day comes back.
But for now you might get more Happy Happy Joy Joy posts. But I promise to try to keep them to a minimum.
And throw in some good cock.
Because damn, that’s funny.
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Um, yes. Do NOT go off the meds until he’s past the Terrible 2.5-3.5 stage. srsly. Not worth it. There are days I wish I had meds. lol.
I’ve been meaning to leave comments for quite some time now, but just wanted to let you know how much I’ve enjoyed reading your blog that I discovered….yes….after Pioneer Woman’s post. I absolutely love your frankness and sayin’ it like it is. Oh and can sooo relate to so much….especially this post. And spring can’t come soon enough now….
I would definitely keep the happy pills through the winter. Yes, yes I would.
Gush away. You always throw in a healthy dose of humour or a great perspective. And a mentally provocative photo of a cock
every now and then. What’s not to love?
And it’s YOUR blog. Post what you want. I’m still going to check in.
♥
SAD sucks. PPD clearly is no friend. The 2.5+yo span sounds like a good time for meds, too.
Whatever you write, I’ll keep coming back to tell you that I appreciate it. Since you’re real. ;p
I just think I’m uber cool saying, “My therapist” like I’m some hip Californian who runs on the beach at sunrise and attends spa yoga.
*giggle*
And throw in some good cock. YES.
Being medicated is a requirement of parenting, yes? Don’t go off meds. At least until you are retired and the kids have grown and flown the coop.
Love the post, and the picture!
LOVE this post.
Don’t blame you one bit for staying on meds through the winter. Cabin fever and SAD are not to be trifled with. Especially when there are children involved.
I so get what you’re saying about those happy happy joy posts in the midst of PPD. I was Community Leader of a general pregnancy/playgroup board @ iVillage when mine hit. I ended up leaving that position because I couldn’t take anymore cheeriness.
Gotta leave you with this - one good cock deserves another, right? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ss8LDBNcsWc
Have a great day -
Warmest,
Lauren
I started meds after my first was born (he’s 6), went off, went back on after 4yo was born and haven’t looked back. I don’t like who I am without them, so I stick with it. I’m sure one day I’ll get off them…but then again, maybe not.
I like the gushy posts…they make me smile.
That’s a nice cok.
A little parent gushing is a good thing
reminds those of us w/o kids of why we might want them some days—despite the sleeplessness and hormonal wackiness.
I lurves you!
And, dood, that’s one fine COCK!! LOL
You will never be one of THEM. Because you are far too awesome.
I don’t mind the gushy posts. Makes for nice reading these days, since there is none of that in my life.
Glad you’ve come out the other side. Do OB’s now warn newly pregnant women about the possiblity of PPD and affects of sleep deprivation? If not, they should be flogged.
The only thing I find helpful for the months of short days and overcast sky is lighting a candle first thing in the morning safely in the bathroom with a shower, lest I forget the thing is lit. I figure the sun is a big ball of fire and it seems to help set my brain. My theory is fireplace light used to help enormously with SAD symptoms but now is used mostly for decoration.
But I have weird theories about lots of things!
Um, so are you saying swiggin Gin straight from the bottle indicates a problem?