Remember in Jr. High how there were those girls with the perfectly poofy hair, the layered feathers that were just so (hey, it was the eighties) and their jeans rolled just right and they always knew stuff? Like, they knew how to french kiss even if they never had, they knew how to apply mascara, they had their periods and knew how to use a tampon. They had self confidence, knew when to pop a zit and always knew what to say at parties. Remember them? Usually they were the captain of the cheer-leading squad. I hated them. But I sat with them at lunch and secretly wished I knew the same stuff they did. I was only cool by proxy. Never the one in the know.
I like to tell myself that that captain of the cheerleading team is just as messed up and confused as I am. Maybe it’s wishful thinking and maybe I just tell myself that to make myself feel better, but it works for me. Hang in there. One decision at a time. And always know that it’s okay to change your mind.
By Paige (CoraBelle) on 2005 09 19
Hang in there hun, when kids get thrown into the mix of things and you have to worry about another person besides the 2 of you it gets tougher. The storm will blow over soon!
And well I married the capt of the fb team…what does that tell ya? I was only cool by proxy too!
By Nicole on 2005 09 19
I completely agree with paigeocora. Ain’t nobody got it all together; appearances are deceiving. I wonder if that is part of the reason the public is mesmerised with actors. We want the perfection, even if it is illusory. You are a step closer to enlightenment, hon, at least you can admit these truths. Further, I think wanting is one of the basest of human emotions. It drives us. It creates ambition. Most of all, you are not alone. Just keep on doing what you can do. We only live once. The ability to appreciate is underrated but I think you are doing just fine.
By texasbelle on 2005 09 19
Like everyone else said, no one is as cool and together as they appear.
Hang in there- all of this is just building character! (tribulations brings perseverance, perseverance proven character, proven character hope, and hope does NOT disappoint… Romans 5:4-5) Not to get all preachy, but I think it’s good to remember there are reasons for having hard times in our lives. They help us to grow into better people… Even if the “hard times” are having to go through the stress of raising a young child, figuring out where to move/how to sell your home, the stress of making a marriage work, figuring out how to balance work and family life, etc.
I know what you mean about the issues that aren’t issues, but privledges, but you still worry about them even when you should be “on my face in humility and thankfulness.” It is so easy to get caught up in stuff, in everyday life, even when you know there are people out there that have worse problems and trials in their life. I do it all the time- even when I know I shouldn’t.
By Holly on 2005 09 20
Wow—-Holly. That was well said.
By Amy_M on 2005 09 20
I felt the same way, but guess what? There is always someone sitting on the sideline next to you wishing they were as cool as YOU. Once upon a time, I remember thinking how all the other moms had it so together… Then I realized that other moms might think the same about ME! Goodness knows I don’t feel like I have it together.
Truth is we are all bumbling about in this so called life together. That’s why we blog, and why it is our common experiences draw us together. Here in bloggie world there is no real social standing based on money or privilege, or who your parents are. You might be a doctor, a lawyer, a teen mom, a computer designer… it doesn’t matter. We are all moms, or all married, or all just looking for other people that understand us.
By RB on 2005 09 20
Well said, and I agree with R.belle
I blog because I NEED to, I like to have understanding from people who don’t even know me. I wouldn’t call it validation, because, well…that would just be sad. But I would call it networking and therapy. Seriously.
And my husband and I have been married for seven years, and I’m starting to have issues that are bigger than either of us or our marriage. It’s frustrating, But I have to trust that he will bring us back to the beginning, back to the reason we married each other in the first place…for love.
Perhaps it’s my mid-life crisis, or one of many! (I still remember those high school girls…I was the one they teased and talked about behind my back. now THAT was F.U.N.!) I guess now I know why I didn’t get invited to my 10 yr. reunion, I was the invisible one.
By Little Miss on 2005 09 21