Geeky Talks
Probably the first post wherein I DO NOT pee on a stick. BEHOLD, INTERNET. (All caps!)
Hi Internet. It’s been too long. Too long since I came here with a pee stick clutched in my fist shaking my head in disbelief. Too long since I peed on my secret stash of tests. Too long since I groped by boobs and came here saying, “Dude, they are like MELONS.”
It’s an obsession I happily traded for red wine and compulsive furniture re-arrangement. I happily fled the “Am I? Aren’t I?” with the one joyous side effect of BORN AGAIN VIRGIN 2008.
I mean, hey, it saves money, right?
So, in a quest to get my libido back again (nothing says “down boy” like a raging overy and a screaming toddler) I decided to take up Someone’s Advice and try out Yaz. I mean it couldn’t be all that bad, right? Birth Control? THE PILL? Joslyn swore it did wonders for her face (no more blemishes!) and she lost weight on it. She pretty much had me at “you won’t get pregnant taking this tiny pill once a day.” The other stuff was all a bonus.
I started The Pill about a week ago. Then The Flu hit our house. And I’ve been nauseated. So nauseated. Or am I sick? Or am I pregnant? HAHA. Just kidding about that last one. Hold-over from obsessions of yore. (I’ll confess, if we’d actually DONE “IT” any time this month, I’d been groping my own self in public and analyzing my nipples. “Dark? Light? Prego? Not prego?” so don’t let me get all “I don’t even own a pregnancy test anymore haha suckah!” on you. It’s a farce.)
So I look up birth control side effects and somewhere between the “YE MAY DIE OF HEART COMPLICATIONS” and “TWO HEADED MONSTERS WILL COME OUT YOUR VAJAYJAY IF YOU USE THIS IS A FORM OF ABORTION” it reads, “Also may cause Nausea for the first few cycles.”
Which, hai, is pretty much what I was hoping to avoid, what the first 18 weeks of puking and all from two pregnancies.
Oh, also, the cost of college and formula. Not in that order.
So, this is all one long winded way of asking you: Do you take THE PILL, have you taken THE PILL and did it make you want to hurl THE WINE on your green puke-colored (which you only are just now noticing is SO totally puke colored) couch?
Because this lady looks pretty happy on Yaz.
Of course, she probably doesn’t even take it. False advertising. There’s no way my hair will look like that after yaz.
Bitch.
Oct, 13, 2008 Read the Archives 
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Oh yarg.
Yeah, hormonal birth control is like rolling the dice, you know?
Honestly, I’m wincing in sympathy here. Because I know that feeling all too well - wrong hormonal levels == nausea that reads too much like morning sickness.
My tubes were charred when my daughter was 3 months old - but if I had it to do today, I’d be going the Essure route.
That said, call that doc. If you’re getting bad nausea, Yaz might not be your secret girly protector method of choice!
And my hair has NEVER looked like that - no matter what form of birth control!
I had a very hard time with hormonal birth control. Either I was psychotic from the horomones, puking or both, with a migraine to add to the fun. After my second was born I opted for the Paraguard IUD and it is perfect. I never have to think about it, non hormonal and last for years.
Get thine ass a Mirena IUD. No hormones that travel into bloodstream. And? NO BABIES, nausea or bull shit! Best money I’ve ever spent.
I’ve also done Tri-Phasil, which is the best one I’ve ever been on and various others that I hated. However, the older you are the worse they are on your system.
Don’t do DeproProvera or the shot. You will regret it and so will the size of your ass.
I can not speak highly enough of the IUD. The first few months you will have breakthrough bleeding, but no pain, and eventually? The periods come and go in a day! It’s glorious!
One more thing. The reason the Mirena is better than the Paraguard is that it’s hormones reach far enough to help prevent ovarian cysts, and it just feels more comfortable than the other.
My husband agrees! haha
19 or so years ago I did the pill. I puked all the time. Doc changed me to the “mini pill”. I puked all the time. Doc said If I was very careful and used a diaphragm with spermicide and a condom every time, I would be able to prevent getting pregnant until we could afford it. My son is now 18 years old. Good luck, Sugar.
IUD! IUD!
Singing the praises of spontaneous sex without pregnancy for 7 years and counting! No having to pick up a scrip, no forgetting to take a pill, no shots, no kooky ampules under your skin. And no condoms. F-ing sweet.
I’m not on anything anymore. We had the urologist take a hole punch to my husband’s scrot to get me off the depo shot (which I loved, but my insurance at the time didn’t cover it, and it was cheaper for him to get the vasectomy).
I loved the depo shot because I didn’t have a period anymore…but when I finally came off of it, it was HELL! I bled for a month straight when I finally had my first period after the shot (been on the shot for about 4 years).
I am on the mini pill right now, b/c I’m still nursing, and I can say it definitely makes me nauseous. I have been on all sorts of brands of the pill, ever since I started having 2 periods a month in my late teen years (ick!) and some brands make me feel much better than others. I’m very curious about the IUD, I hear it’s the most popular among OB/GYNs, which makes me think it must be a good thing, right? They being the most informed about this kind of crap? Anyway, if you like the idea of the pill, I would suggest having your dr switch brands, (each formula is different so they all will affect you a bit differently) or try the IUD, I think I will be trying it soon!
It’s been so long since I took the pill that I don’t remember.
I made Honey get the snip snip. No nausea OR pregnancies
You know me, the crunchy hippie chick opposed to synthetic junk in my body. So….I recommend the LadyComp!!!
Red light! Green light! It’s all you have to know.
I’ve tried tried pretty much every pill, including Yaz. I’m on Yasmin right now, because it’s makes me the least crazy, my periods are the most normal, and I haven’t gained weight on it. It’s still not great though, I’ve definitely been thinking about getting the Mirena instead.
so…..the pill…no no no…it kills sexual libido…i was on the pill for 15 years…from..about age 18 till…age 34…i thought i had no side effects….yet when my husband went in for a vascectomy….i had a huge increase in my libido…also when i was pregnant huge increase in libido….which at the time i figured it was due to pregnancy….but now i realize the pill kills libido….after child #3 i did do the depo shot…which led to no weight loss at all for ten months after baby was born…even though i was nursing…i ballooned up..the month i quit the depo pill…ten pounds magically dissappeared from my body….
so i say no to the pill…..don’t mess with your hormones….
for me….condoms…work wonders…
cheers to you~good luck..and enjoyed reading you
dulcy~
The V baby. Make an appt and send MR. F on his way! TRUST ME (and my husband would tell you the same), it isn’t a big deal. I watched the whole thing. AND, if you are trying to get your libido back, part of the homework after the V is making sure it “worked”. So numbers like 16 times in 6 weeks were flying around in my head until we completed what was required of us (use condoms during that time of course, in case it didn’t take). Then once you’re clear, you are on your way to freedom. Also, you get a free pocket knife and what’s better than that?!? http://www.DrSnip.com
OH, I was going to say also, I have been off of all BC since the V and I was regular for a while, but now I am back to being all out of whack- even without any hormones. So who the F knows. I was thinking about getting on Yaz, but maybe not now after what you are saying. I need something though, 2 periods a month is unacceptable! It is so hard to figure out what is best for you body. My doctor wanted me off all hormones by the time I was 35 since I don’t have a breast/ovarian cancer risk in my family, but now I am wondering if that was the best choice. So confusing. I see her in Jan and I will ask the eternal question of what I should do to regulate myself and not wreak havoc on my poor system. So I am with you…hang in there, we’ll figure it out….eventually. GO V!
I wouldn’t live without my IUD. I had spotting for the first 2 weeks after it was put in and then everything is hunky dory after that. Spontaneous sex and little to no mood swings. LOVE!
It’s seriously THE BEST!
Yaz (and Yasmin) killed my sex drive. Unfortunately for all involved, I didn’t realize it until I went off it after a year or two.
ok…so i’m probably not the person to answer since i recommended it in the first place, so i’m a wee bit biased…but i did have nausea for the first few weeks and then it totally went away…also had spotting for the first month…but again by month two was golden.
but it’s not for everyone…i’d give it 3 weeks and if you’re feeling like shit i’d go for plan b…vasectomy
I was on hormonal birth control for about two years and all I have to say is NEVER AGAIN. It made me teh crazee.
I don’t understand what Nina Garcia has to do with Yaz.
I’ve been using the pill for 6 years now. I have had some up and down weight gain, but it is minimal. It helps with acne (not that I had anything severe) and I’ve never been nauseated.
I do not take Yaz though.
A friend of mine had a massive issue while taking that pill, she suffered with depression and self deprecating thoughts etc., and she was almost unfailingly and annoyingly optimistic. Once she went off, she was fine. Just sayin’.
Well sis, I don’t know what to tell you. I have the IUD and I don’t like it. I feel like i’m completely crazy and emotionally retarted. BUT…I don’t want to go on the pill either with what everyone else is saying. So what now? Just get pregnant and the third baby out of the way and make ryc get fixed? GOOD GAWD. SOMEONE HELP ME!!!!!! I"M SERIOUSLY LOOSING MY MIND.
PS…...My doctors apt is thursday to get the IUD out…..so someone please tell me what’s the best LOW hormonal thing to do.
The best low (no) hormonal thing to do is to be aware of your body, know when you ovulate, and avoid sex during high-fertility days. It’s not as weird or freaky as it sounds! The LadyComp is a little fertility-awareness device that works quite well for a friend of mine. I personally don’t use anything - haven’t for 5 years - and have never had a surprise pregnancy. The LadyComp claims 99.3% accuracy, which is not much less than making yourself crazy on a bunch of synthetic hormones.
The lady in the photo for Yaz…isn’t that Nina Garcia from Project Runway. She’s Editor-at-Large for Elle Magazine…just wondering.
I was always barfy when taking “regular” birth control pills… never really got over it, even after a few cycles. My Dr. then prescribed some low-dose BC pills which really seemed to help. Maybe that’s an option? Hope your nausea takes a hike.
Oh, also, I’m a Mirena gal now. Much much much better than pills.
I finally quit all the bc pills because of how MENTAL they were making me. I tried three over a course of a year and each one made me feel a different kind of YUCKY. I tried Yaz but it made me feel sick to my stomach. None of them amped up my libido.
So now I take none and have no sex.
Um- ok, so maybe you wrote the whole rant I wrote about this way back when… or not. Anyway, may I just say, I got by for a long, long, long time with condoms- becaaaauuuussse the pill messed up bad- weight gain, sluggish feeling, horrible acne, etc, etc, etc, as did the shot. So for me, I always thought condoms were about the best I could do. Until I got preggers 9 weeks after my little guy was born with twins. Sucker. Let me just say, um yeah, I know that breastfeeding is not birth control and I wasn’t even trying that. Like I said, condoms. Anyway, I then went on the mini-pill after my twins were born despite my reservations about the hormones (mess me up!) because the horrible, horrible periods I was getting after giving birth (labor-like cramping) would supposedly get worse with an iud. Well, again, the pill messed me up- horrible, horrible cystic acne and weight gain, not to mention the mood swings. Yuck and yuck. So now? I’m on the iud- the one without the hormones mind you, and having some side effects- like 10 day periods. But, I guess, for now… it’s the best we can come up with. And even though I’m 99% sure I don’t want more kids, when I get my hubs to say, “ok, I’ll get a vasectomy.” I still feel like, “but what if I want another kid?”. So, for now… I’m making do. Nothing’s perfect. Abstinence anyone? ha. only half kidding there…
Oh, yeah, like sizzle, I used to joke about the reason the pill worked for me is because I never wanted to have sex when I was on it. *Totally* killed my libido, and normally (without any of that crap) I have a pretty healthy libido.
Laura….
TRUST me when I say that I COULD not just trust my ovulation. MY SIS AND I ARE BABY MAKERS.
I swear we Ovulate 26 days a month! IT"S BAD. I NEED something. But something that will work. I’m tired, hormonal, emotional, eating all the time, and FREAKING OUT all the time about EVERYTHING!!!!!
I love the yaz. I told you to do the http://www.essure.com thing but you didn’t listen. (Since Mr. Flinger is a BIG FAT BABY WIENER!) I am only taking it because my periods are all effed up, and I have horrible genes that make me likely to have a hysterectomy before I turn 40.
The Yaz made me barfy the first few weeks. Also the headache sucked donkey balls. BUT IT WAS BETTER than the alternative of the “TOTALLY MAKE YOU BATSHIT CRAZY” hormones she had me on.
Chill a bit. Relax, also tell Mr. Flinger to figure it out, or you will Lorena Bobbitt him soon. You know, because if you don’t we are all going to be visiting you and Hurley at Santa Rosa.
So, to summarize, The Pill = scary. The IUD = Less Scary but still sorta scary. The V = Great Plan. Me = Ovulating twice a month = No Sex. Ever.
I do find it helpful that some of you felt sick on Yaz. I called my doc and they said to wait the first cycle and see if it passes (So YEY, Joslyn, you’re still totally right on target with it.) So far I’m down 3 pounds. Not to my own assistance BELIEVE YOU ME. Chocolate much?
So, I’ll let y’all know next month what happens. Mainly I need help with thy ovulation. It pains me. Greatly. So anything to cut that off? I’m sortof on top of it.
Not literally.
No pill for me, it doesn’t make me nauseated, just suicidal…and I think that death is a leetle beet worse than puke.
Anywho, I have a Mirena IUD and hate it. All the peeps who love it can suck it. I’ve had it for 11 mos and have random “breakthrough” bleeding that lasts 2 days to 4 weeks. SO NOT AWESOME.
Birth control sucks.