Geeky Talks
Quite Frankly, I’m sick of it
Popularity. Fame. Money. Drama.
I think Mom101 said it best, “We don’t have to be ashamed about what we do or why we do it. Whether we blog for money or friendship or approval or attention or magical beans. I said it in the first Momosphere panel and I meant it: It’s all good.”
The hate blogs, the jealousy, the gossip; It’s a bi-product of mixing fame, money and popularity in a tiny tiny space called Your Computer. We’re exposed. We’re sharing. We’re being “honest” except we’re not.
I can not tell you how much it means to me to know that really great writers with great sites know who I am and are just as amazing in person as in their blogs. But this does not bring me fame. It does not bring me money. It does not bring me popularity.
It brings me community.
You choose to either participate in the community or not. You decide what and how much you give to your peers. You are the one who can either introduce yourself or sit and watch. Either way, it’s your choice. And they are both ok.
I’m not overly confident in who I am. I still squee (loudly) when Joelle of Moxie Design Studios says HI or sends a client our direction. I was flattered beyond flattery when Angela gave me a CD and when Amy and Tracey and Dana included me in their link list. Don’t get me wrong. I still love that these people I read and admire also read and link back to me.
It’s a warm fuzzy that even my nightly
bottle of wine can’t re-produce.
But if you feel that I am popular or self-righteous, you’ve clearly never met me in person. Or read me for that matter. I’m far from being an “A” list blogger. I’m a mom who barely holds her shit together, who tries to write every so often and works even more often. I value friendships, real ones, over my blog and would toss this site in a heartbeat if it got in the way of my real relationships. My real life.
Which is something I’m struggling with.
The best and most wonderful thing I’ve found through this blog are my close friends Michelle and Laura and the site we launched together. My career took a fantastic turn when I met Karen through this post and then joined Swank Web Style and found Shaz and Emily and we decided to start a new commercial design business Catapult Web Development because Sydney helped inspire this move and Susan Getgood and other clients encouraged it. When I found out my my new great Seattle Playdate Friend also worked in the web programming / tech field I was in heaven and we talked nerdy to each other.
From there, the real world got better and better.
I blog for a variety of reasons but it will be changing soon. There is a New Big Thing in the works and The Real World is involved. It’s exciting, what has come of being in this community, and it’s inspirational. But it is not exclusive or ellusive or any other “ive”. It’s what you make of it.
Just like real life.
Jul, 26, 2008 Filed in: Write •Best Of •This one time? At BlogHer? •Getting to know me •Rants and Raves • Read the Archives 
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Amen. I can’t WAIT to see what the next big thing is.
I blogged about the fame thing this very morning.
So awesome! I’m drafting a similarish post right now, but you’ve done such a lovely job of it, maybe I don’t need to… If anything, I am linking to this post. Because? Brilliant.
I’d totally vote for magical beans.
I met you briefly during a very surreal visit to the Gold Dust Lounge near the hotel and had a perfectly lovely conversation but I was so overwhelmed at the time that I don’t really remember what was said. I did, however, find you totally unselfrighteous. That part I remember.
I’m just glad to have met so many awesome wimmins. And to be able to count them as friends - even more awesome.
xo
You forgot to mention the value of licking each other’s cheeks. The ability, perhaps more so, the willingness to lick each others cheeks is the greatest part of our community, don’t you think?
It’s funny how complicated the blog world has become now that there is money (for some) involved. My cousin is Maggie from Mighty Girl and I have been so proud of what she’s been able to accomplish.
Me, on the other hand, I’m far from an A list blogger but I’ve really enjoyed the relationships I’ve developed over the years. That has been rewarding in itself.
Having said that, I’m actually going to redesign my blog to allow for advertising for the first time. Don’t hate me, okay?
(Oh, and just an observation but I find it interesting that the women in the blog world tend to beat each other up. I haven’t seen that in the Daddy Blogging community.)
I can honestly say you are my mostest favoritest person I’ve ever met online, and I’ve met a lot of amazing people (esp women) over the last few years. You are special and sweet and heartfelt beyond words and I’m proud to call you my friend. This post is so bang on, as are many of yours. You’re very talented and insightful, both as a designer and a member of this community that all of us have built together. You ought to be very secure in knowing all of that. Much love, sugarpants.
A handful of people called me “popular” after seeing me at BlogHer. Yeah. Right. What they were seeing was “busy.” Busy because everyone always wants something and that absolutely does not mean that they like you. They just know that you’ll do it for them.
I made $20 from my blog last month. What does that tell you? I make $0 from Blog Nosh Magazine. Neither of them make me popular or famous or anything other than busy.
But wait. That’s not true…
They make me happy.
Not because of the money. Not because of the popularity. They make me happy because of the people that take the time to read me and talk to me and talk *with* me.
Screw every single person that doesn’t believe me when I say that I do it for the joy it brings. I do it because I’m a joyful girl.
And I also do it so that you’ll put me in your “people I read” because I just saw that you finally did! And you know what that will bring me? Nothing. Maybe one out-click? Probably not.
But it makes me happy. Because I like you. And when I met you, I didn’t squirrel you away into a corner because I felt like, “Yep, I like her just as much as I thought I would. Check. Now who else do I want to hug here?”
BlogHer was just one big confirmation that I feckin’ love you people. Something changed along the way in Internet land and all of these strangers went from being possibly-geeky-RPG chicks to being real friends.
And if they are, in fact, absolutely-geeky-RPG chicks? Then I learned that judging people for having alter-egos that are fairies or vampires is wrong. So wrong.
Mrs. Flinger, I’m afraid I accidentally drank some crazy juice for lunch. Sorry for this long comment. I should feed my comments into my blog as posts and then it would look like I actually blog sometimes.
I completely agree that blogging is what you make of it. I’m still trying to figure out what I make of it, though. But, like Megan, I was ecstatic to see my mug in your “People I Read” collage because I heart you, Mrs. Flinger.
You answered her question perfectly.
I WUV YOUR GUTS, WOMAN!
I loved this, Leslie. Further proof that you are awesome. And completely lickable.
Community; that is the word that gave me chills. I think that it is great you are meeting real world folks to open up doors, especially if it means being able to do something you enjoy.
i don’t know what the current drama is (thank god), but i DO know you are supermegaawesome.
people who can think for themselves, stand on their own two feet, and don’t succumb to stupidity and drink of the mindless haterade are awesome.
heart you, lady.
PS: i’m totally in this for the poontang.
I don’t know if people consider me a ‘popular blogger’ or not, and I don’t really care.
What I do care about is just how much the connections and friendships blogging has brought into my life.
And I love that I was banned from the nasty blog because I stood up for my friends.
I’m not a popular blogger (I’m one who still goes squee when she notices that her comment is right below Redneck Mommy’s, so what does that tell you?) but I think you hit the nail on the head.
I blog because I’ve found that I love to write and because it’s like free therapy. And because I’d have nowhere else to bitch about my husband. I do hope to become a bigger part of the community, but if I never have a bigger following than I have right now, I will be 100% content with my little part of the internet.
Amen. To all of it. Especially the cheek licking.
um, yeah, i love you.
the end.
you’re making me want to lick you right now. seriously.
My dad has a shirt that says “save the drama for your momma” So I just save it for my Mom to deal with. You should too.
I love you, and not just because I think that we were separated at birth, you are real and true and funny. If no one knows that they are crazy and don’t read you.
Now when can I lick you? (with a cocktail of course!)
Yes. Yes. And yes.
There is SO much more I could say about this, but nearly as eloquently as you did.
Quite frankly, I think you rock. Personally and professionally.
this is a great post. i didn’t attend blogher but i am reading about people bad mouthing it. i have not found any of these blogs that did that ??? it sounds so silly that people would badmouth it.
This whole “fame” and “popularity” bullshit is getting on my nerves. It’s annoying and you are responding to it far more eloquently than I would. Because if I were to do so there’d be a hell of a lot of profanity and I’d possibly have to show everyone the balance of my checking account. IT WOULD NOT BE PRETTY.
Great post!
Fame is fleeting, random, and totally not based on anything reliable.
Friends are based on who we are and who we can be.
I laugh if anyone ever thinks I’m important as anything other than a friend - because that’s where it’s really at!
Money comes and goes - people? that’s where true value is!!
((hug))
I go back and forth when I read all the post BlogHer posts. After reading some I’m all, “YEAH I’m so going to go next year and get in on all the fun” then i’ll read another and think, “Maybe I should stay in my little corner of the internet and avoid all the drama”
I don’t know, chickie. I just don’t know. I do know that I make hardly anything from my blog ads—just enough to pay the hosting bill. I don’t do it for money or popularity. I don’t have either one. I do it because I enjoy writing for me and my family and because sometimes I make a really good connection with someone.
Well now I’m completely curious—you know I won’t be able to sleep at all after this until we get The Big Announcement.
Trashy luv n kisses to you Missus Flinger. Love the post and dig you so much. You are awesome and you have moxie.
now i REALLY feel crappy that we didn’t get to meet up! :(
me want to know big announcement too!!!
You are lickable. And correct.
I found you from a link at Fussypants and just wanted to give you a thumbs up. I know at times I get so wrapped up in stats and links and stuff that doesn’t really matter. I’m desperately trying to change that. In other words, I needed to read this.
Wonderful darlin’. Absolutely wonderful, but I expect nothing less from the glory that is you.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Ok, I’ll admit I’m confused. Did someone call you self-righteous?
Maybe I’ve missed another round of blog drama.
“It brings me community.”
AMEN.
I think people are confusing fame for, I don’t know, something that’s not fame at all. Walking into a professional conference where 100 other people in the same field know your work doesn’t make you famous. I wish it did, because I could use some free first class airline tickets right about now.
Wooooo yeah, baby, you said it. I also got banned from the nasty blog.
I hated that kind of behaviour when I was 13 years old and I’ll be damned if I’ll have anything to do with it as an adult.
Smooch.
awesome.
that’s all i’ve got to say about that.
xo~K
My only drama is the fact that I wasn’t at blogher..so you didn’t get to lick me. *WAH*
I love you people and this community. And BYGOD there will be a licking booth at blogHer next year if I have anything to say about it. BYGOD.
I was just thinking the same thing. I actually was going to blog about it but well, I guess enough has been said about blogher and blogging this week.
Someone has probably already said it, but it truly is what YOU make it. Everything in life is. I made it by talking to lots of people, licking them (see ya at the booth next year!), and grabbing onto friends for dear life because they make my life special online so I wanted to connect more offline.
I love you and your dirty feet.
True dat. I don’t even blog (just read) and I can feel all the angst and anxiety that gets flung near and far. For those of us who are just humble readers and fans, it’s sad. Sad to see such a great forum eating it’s way from the inside out. It should be what it is - a tool, “community,” as you said. What or why isn’t as important as DO.
Hang in there guys!
Well said. Looking forward to the next big thing, but I love your blog, too!
Ack - Bossy says Just Say No to drama.
Honestly? The whole drama thing is just silly. Because if it wasn’t BlogHer, they would find another reason to kvetch. Girls bond through their drama. Some women never progress past that part and have old wounds that never heal.
YOu licked me, along with about a 1000 other people, and you don’t see me whining because I am not acknowledged. I had a great time at BlogHer. I came home and wrote this post, because now, I think I get it. http://casadecruz.blogspot.com/2008/07/what-i-learned-at-blogher-08-2.html In a perfect world, we would all be BFFs. In the real world, even in cyberspace. We are all just Too. Damn. Busy.
Great article. No Brutally Honest Monday today? I have mine up…
T.
Brilliant. But I’ve come to expect nothing less from you.
(Agreed that one of the best things that has come out of blogging is the real life friendships!)
Can’t wait to here about the new upcoming thing for you!
MAD LOVE for this post. MAD LOVE.
Oh, Mrs. Flinger. This is why I love you. Because you Get It.
*ahem* I promise not to share my crazy juice with Megan anymore. Sorry.
I’d be lost without all the amazing people I’ve met online. It’s changed my life.
(that means you too!!)
Your posts that hit home for me the most I have the hardest time commenting on for some reason. Dude. I feel you. Times one million and four. I am so grateful for the community blogging has created for me, and unspeakably thankful for the friendship I’ve made. And some of the bi-product… “meh”.
Angella mentioned you were lickable.
Um…is there something I should know?
Awesome. And good luck with the next Big Thing!
You so rule.
Wow, you are so out there protecting the sanity of so many women!
I have no idea what “the nasty blog” is, or what this licking thing is all about (sounds fun), but I can tell you that having just gotten my own domain & started blogging less than four months ago you are the one voice that has kept me from quitting! All of this talk of in-fighting has me in a fright!
On my blog I’ve blurbled on and on about my ethical quandary on advertising and my personal journey of infinite confusion regarding the absurd notion of success, but honestly being so new to the world of blogging, and being so limited with time, it’s all been pretty intimidating to me and brings back terrible memories of junior high, cliques with impenetrable walls, and “mean girls”. Is blogging really like that? If so, perhaps I’m at the wrong party!
Then I found your “Blog Guilt Free” badge and your seemingly carefree ability to be who you are, with beauty and faults all in the same space. Thank you for giving me hope that being who you truly are is not a lost commodity!
You are an inspiration, and just maybe I’ll stick around long enough to experience some of the lovely friendships you’ve developed… before I run away to the “real world” where it’s so much easier to say what I mean. The “read world” does not, however, offer the same kind of personal therapy that writing can offer, as Katie put it. Amazing how you can turn that into a two-way equation, Mrs. Flinger!
Good luck with your next big thing and here’s hoping you keep the inspiration coming!
I recognized you, but didn’t *recognize you* @ BlogHer until you slapped the sticker on my boob. Well, I recognized your name then. But still - my point is, you were just as casual and nice and happy and sweet as any of the other people there that I ‘knew’ previously and had already created friendships with.
If anyone says you have an ego or anything like that, I’d be the first to tell them they are full of #@#@!. [This seems like a classy establishment over here, I don’t wanna be muckin’ it up with my dirty words]
Well said.
I can’t wait to hear what your big news is!
I’m in awe of the popular bloggers. I watched them from my corner table and envied their ‘smooth.’
I get no money from blogging, but I would if I knew how.
Nobody licked me, but the perpetual nervous sweat was probably a bit of a turn-off. I probably glowed in the dark.
Lastly? All my life I have wanted magic beans.
The real lastly? (That “lastly” up there was just a poser.) I’m looking forward to your big news, too.