You are going to be much happier.
It’s been coming to this for a long time, this merging of me vs me. I’ve pretended to be different: Professional Me and Personal Me. But honestly? I am only one person, not two threaded halves.
I am a multitude of rolls, but I am just me. I am as transparent and as open as anyone can be, equally giving way to hurt and laughter and insecurities and strength. I’m open to accepting new ideas, I love my family and my work and I give people the benefit of the doubt to an almost gullible level.
I am what I am and that’s all that I am. (Picture me giving you the pop-eye here. Or, in my case a “Pirate Eye.”)
It sounds old and cliche, but it’s taken me six years of Internet Identity to figure out that I’m the same person online and offline. I’ve grown up in this space here, this dynamic known as “The Interwebz” and I’ve come to realize I was the same all along.
At first I tried to keep my job separated from my blog. There was this nonsense of an idea that I had “branded” myself as a “personal blogger - essay writer” and couldn’t taint that with talk of code. My readers roll their eyes and spew things in tongues when I speak code.
But then? Something amazing happened.
You liked it.
You liked me for it.
You liked me in spite of it.
And I loved you all the more for letting that part of me in.
So I share my nerdiness with you and we laugh because “HAHA I HAVE NO CLUE WHHAT YOU ARE SAYING” and I go “HAHA I KNOW” and we all share a beer and talk about eyebrows and chin hair.
And it’s good, this space here. But there is no difference between this space and any other space where I exist, I am simply me. Professional, Personal, One-in-the-same.
Like two mismatched sock that put together make the perfect outfit.
Many people have encouraged this in me. This “merging” of identities. Where Mrs. Flinger and Leslie come together. They know me as both, professional and personal, that I work hard and I laugh often. They have quiet talks with me about business goals and children. They share professional aspirations and personal decisions. And more often then not, clients become friends.
Business? It’s not just business. It’s entirely personal. My business has always been a personal one. It’s my love, my art, my thought process and the people I meet in my job are very much people, not a bottom line. Why I would think differently of myself in that role is something I can’t explain.
So I’d like to say hello to my clients, to my co-workers, to future jobs. To people who are just meeting me, the girl who thinks code is “sexy” in a funny, shy kind of a way. The girl who’s last name is not Flinger. It’s Doherty.
It’s nice to meet you.
Welcome to me. The complete. Me.
You are going to be much happier.
I already knew your real name and am still on a major high from actually meeting you in Chicago, but it’s great to see you merging the two. You already know I LOVE your geeky side. RAWR!
I heart you.
I can still call you flinger, right?
It is harder to yell that across the room while drunk. But this post was especially sweet and makes me want to hug you. Although I want to hug you every time I see you or see you tweet or think of you. Cute thing.
It must feel so good to be a whole person, all in one place… separate identities suck. Good for you!!!
Nice to meet you, Mrs. Doherty! Great post!
p.s. I blew the 30 day thing, but I’m back at it. Posted about it today…
How totally liberated you must feel now. Rock on sister!
Congrats on putting the complete you out there, here, everywhere.
Yeah I’m still calling you Flinger.
Beautiful, undiluted you.
Yay! I wish I had something more interesting to say, but I’m happy for you.
I totally knew of you as a code-master, first and foremost. And then, we went to this thing called BlogHer and I don’t think I actually MET-MET you, if we even said hello to each other and then it hit me like a tonne of bricks that you BLOG. About like, stuff OUTSIDE of Room704.
Hmmm. Yeah. You’ve always been a giant mishmash in my head. I read your blog. And then I did a redo of my blog and you helped me with that. And then I met you at blogher and was going to talk to you about this business thing that maybe I wanted to do. And then you and Karen designed THAT. And then I started emailing you at all the wrong addresses… because GOD WOMAN WHAT ARE YOU TO ME? So yay for this because to me, you’re just Leslie. My friend who also, by the way, is really really smaaaaht. And PS - Thanks for the business linky love. Who else in my professional life can I talk about vibrators with?
Aww, neat. I’ve been debating inviting some of my “RL” friends to join me on twitter with this ID.
I’ve been having this debate for MONTHS.
It is kind of agonizing.
I kind of want to get it over with.
BUT I also feel freer to say some certain things currently.
can i still call you hot stuff? rawr!
*smooches on both your cheeks*
Dood, this post ROCKS. You are the best! One of my favorite BlogHer memories is being able to say that I was jumped by Mrs. Flinger. (You do remember that, right? Or were you too vodka drunk to remember? Please tell me you remember. LOL)
I’m just glad I can call you my friend.
I BIG red puffy heart you a LOT!!
It’s true, you totally ARE the best. Under all of the names (including hot stuff). xoxo
HI!Nice to meet you!
Great post, though I’m not sure I’ve read one on here that I didn’t like.
Great post. I knew you were a code nerd.
I can’t remember the name of the movie, but the quote “if nothing else, it should always be personal” ran through my mind.
There are degrees, but everything is personal in my humble opinion.
P.S. I can’t resist. You wrote “I am a multitude of rolls” and I want to respond “So am I!”
P.P.S. It was a Kevin Costner baseball movie. I think it was “For the Love of the Game.”
Aww, love both the Flinger and the Doherty.
And FWIW, I have code nerd envy. I’m married to a code nerd & I wish I understood more of it, but I was always on the network engineering side of things. Maybe someday I’ll study up on it, who knows.
Gawd I love you. I love you TONS and TONS.
So, I am guessing that the photo of you is PRE-eyebrow construction, right? Did you follow through with the eyebrow guru suggestions?
I like your real name
Ok, fine. But I will still continue to yell “FLINGERRRRRRRR!!!!!” when I see you, ok?
I salute your oneness of being! How very zen… I, on the other hand, become almost apoplectic when two different groups of friends collide in the same space as my fragments of personality are rarely presented in a cohesive whole and I have a hard time figuring out who I am in those moments.
You’re so beautiful, love.
I love this post, btw, and stumbled it. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE
When you talk code, I like to nod my head and pretend I totally get it. It makes me feel smart. Sometimes I need all the help I can get.
Nice to meet ya!
You captured so many thoughts I’ve had for a long time, but never articulated. Liberating!
Love it! xoxoxo
everything I know is a lie!
FLINGER!!! I just got back from “vacay” and am just seeing this for the first time. FAKLEMPT! I am SO faklempt! Not only because of the sweet words about our friendship here, but because of this huge decision of yours to merge identities—at the same time as I have, mind you! I am SO excited for you. It’s BEAUTIFUL. BEAUTIFUL.
Well hello there! Nice to meet you!
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