The Poem

Dec 27, 2009

#Family Life

It was the perfect temp
not a cloud in the sky
The mister took the kids
so maybe perhaps that I

could get in a run
for my new resolution
it wasn’t too cold
it was a perfect solution

I started out great
the wind in my hair
my feet on the gravel
a glorious affair

Then came a rumble
which turned in to fear
My mind raced
“Is there a toilet near?”

I stared in to miles
without any hope
There was no way to stop
I’d just have to cope

So off I did run
while clenching it tight
I hope nobody could tell
it was an awful sight

I started to sweat
not from heat, I believe
more of an internal struggle
to seek a reprieve

from the growing movements
from within my bowel
I looked around
did anyone else smell that foul?

The ditches looked great
more promising than grass
I just needed to find
something to wipe my ass

but find I could not
so off I kept running
the sound of my stomach
like a drum that was drumming

when finally at last,
I made it back to the start
I couldn’t help myself
a released a large fart

I glanced up with great angst
the sound of a jacknife
it came as my husband yelled
“So glad you’re my wife”

I ran right past them
my family await
and finally, at last,
with a sigh, it was great.


  1. Charming, as usual

    By Katie on 2009 12 27

  2. heh. Thanks, Katie. wink

    By Mrs. Flinger on 2009 12 28

  3. And I only thought I loved you before.  Now, I know.

    By Ree (the other one) on 2009 12 28

  4. Been there! Pooping in ditches, that is. Exercise is for crazy people.

    By Mama Bee on 2009 12 28

  5. Love it, love it, love it.  Insert weak bladder and you’ve entered my world. smile


    By Scout's Honor on 2009 12 28

  6. I love you.

    By Sarcastic Mom / Lotus on 2009 12 28